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Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

Posted Sept. 23, 2021, 12:23 p.m. by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) (Jennifer Ward)

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Find the Grace (Tag Sair)
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Revna nodded with a genuine but slight smile. “Thank you Sair, and please call me Revna.” She walked over to the replicator and stared at it for long moments, unsure of what she wanted. So many things reminded her of other memories, good memories, memories that were unrelated to her night terrors. Taste and smell were two of the strongest triggers for memory. And those memories at the moment made her want to be anywhere else but here. Eventually she ordered hot apple cider. She felt cold and even though it was simply psychological the warmth of the cup in her hands was welcome.

She moved over to sofa and sat, legs curled up underneath her and leaned back into the corner. She inhaled the scent of the cider and blew across it before taking a sip. “I’m having trauma induced night terrors. It’s not a new symptom but they’ve increased over the last two weeks. Before it was once a week, even every two weeks, but it’s been several times a week.”

Revna McKenzie

Sair let Revna take her time getting settled and once again chided herself for expecting something other than what she got. Of course Revna got right down to business. She had suspected as much before the woman arrived. But the simple admission heartened her since Sair knew that if things were offered easily like that then they could get into the nitty gritty that much more easily.

“What do you think has triggered the increase in frequency?” Songz asked simply.

~Sair Songz, CNS

Revna sighed, not a frustrated or resigned sound but…knowing. Knowing that if she could pin point the cause on her own she could address the real issue. Knowing that the healing wasn’t going to be easy. Knowing that despite being honest and willing and accepting of the need to be patient and not therapist, she was hiding the reason from herself, even though intellectually she didn’t want to. “I’m not sure. I have spent a great deal if time thinking about it, but I either simply don’t see the connection or my psyche is unwilling to let me see it.” She sipped the cider shaking her head. How many patients had she helped accept the fact that sometimes the mind lied to itself to protect their sanity or their hearts? “Last night I think it was triggered by my physical therapy. It was a rough session, I was in a lot of pain after. Pain where I had been injured and I was short of breath for quite awhile afterwards. Even before I fell asleep the memories were present and loud.”

McKenzie, DA

Sair nodded slowly, taking in not only Revna’s words, but the way she spoke them too. “Can you recall the first moment you actively realized that you were being triggered by something and that it was impacting you. And if so, how long ago was that. I’m not talking from the original trauma, but recently.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Revna sipped at the drink and then stared into it, almost as if looking for answers, but her attention was turned inward. “I don’t remember when they started after the initial incident but they have never really stopped once they started. The nature of my injury…I couldn’t breath…not more than short shallow breaths. Some nights I think the nightmares caused me to loose my breath, to struggle to stop breathing, and startle awake convinced the doctors hadn’t been able to save me. Others I think it was the other way around. Our bodies tend to deepen and lengthen our breaths as we sleep, and I could not.” Remembering these details obviously distressed Revna but she didn’t shy away from them either. She also knew this was not an answer to the question Sair had asked. She was simply processing out loud, allowing Sair to follow along as it were, as she tried to pin point when it started.

Revna breathed in and there was a hitch and the anticipation of pain, but there was none, and then she breathed deeper. “I think it started after my surgery six months ago. Before there was no way to really…feel, emotionally, the process of dealing with it. I was forced to be calm and serene about it because strong emotions have physical reactions, and I couldn’t breathe, and if I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t do anything but focus on trying to get air.” She blew out a shaky breath and closed her eyes, tears slipping out, and she let them. They were necessary and welcome after so long.

There were many approaches to dealing with post-traumatic symptoms, but until Sair knew Revna better, she wouldn’t know which was the best approach. A previous case history didn’t mean much necessarily because just because what one therapist did worked, didn’t necessarily mean it would work for Sair to implement

“I…I think the first time I knew something had triggered me was when my sister left the Centurion and I had to stay.”

Revna McKenzie

Sair nodded slowly. “Tell me more,” she said simply.

~Sair Songz, CNS

“When Cpt. Jameson had me transferred to Atlantis he arranged for my twin to come aboard as well. Atlantis needed a new teacher, and well, Runa is the best teacher in Federation space.” Revna was very proud of her sister and it showed. “She travelled with me back to Centurion for the surgery and stayed for awhile, but she had to go back, while I stayed. She was there for everything, she stayed in my quarters, on Atlantis, most nights. We’ve always been really close, she’s always been there for the really important things. I was feeling really lost with her leaving. Not having her there to....” several things coalesced together and Revna had a revelation…She set her cup down and pulled a necklace out from under her shirt and stared at it. “No…it started about two weeks after my surgery…but the night terror wasn’t about the attack…related, but not about that…” She blew out a breath, her cheeks puffing out, “How spiritual are you, Sair?”

Revna McKenzie


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