Posted by Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in CNS Office - Checking Boxes
Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in CNS Office - Checking Boxes
“Did those choices bring about the end of the relationship?” Sair asked. While in their first meeting he had mentioned talking about it later, she was glad he had brought up this event himself. It meant he was open to working on the fallout of it and not avoid it.
~Sair Songz, CNS
Cochrane shook his head. “No… well… I don’t believe mine did. My reaction to a choice she made probably moved things in that direction, though…” and he took a breath and sighed. “So…” and he looked at her. “Zef was Bajeen. It is a race most of us had no experience with, but they are Federation members and thus her career in Star Fleet. Part of their culture and custom concerns pregnancy. In the Bajeen culture, if a female is unable to bear children, she and her spouse can hire and contract a surrogate. Nothing strange or odd in that… save the fact that the impregnation of the woman is done… well… ‘the old-fashioned way’, as it were. They view it as a business transaction. There is nothing odd about it. Zef contracted to be a surrogate for an old friend. So my struggle to accept that was not that she had necessarily agreed to carry another couple’s child. It was the fact that she didn’t tell me she had agreed to do so until the day before they arrived… and that she would be sleeping with another man until such a time as the deed was done.” and he sank back into the chair, his displeasure still apparent on his face.
“Looking back… I can honestly say that it wasn’t the pregnancy that upset me. It even wasn’t the fact that she was going to have sex with someone else even though we were together. What it was was… it was… it was the deceit. At least, from my perspective it was deceit. She agreed to do it over a a month before she told me. And it didn’t cross her mind to tell me until the day before… and that.... that hurt. It made me feel… like an afterthought. Which was compounded by the discussions we had had about the future. Where we were headed… what we wanted as a couple. None of that seemed to matter. So when were at dinner on the station and she told me like it was ‘Oh tomorrow I’m going shopping.’… I just got up and left. It was ugly, I know that. I was hurt and she either couldn’t… or wouldn’t… see why. And that made me angry and hurt. We never really recovered from that, although we tried. I understand that is how it was perceived by her people, and she was adamant that I just needed to see it form a ‘Bajeen’ perspective. But she never took the time to see it from a human perspective. Anyway… while we were trying to move on, she chose to leave. Again, didn’t tell me until it was decided. So… her I am talking to you.” and he shrugged.
Letting him walk her through the situation as he saw it, Sair took in his body language and the things he didn’t say as much as the things he did say. “I know from personal experience how complicated interspecies relationships can be and all relationships- whether they be romantic, friendship, work related- they are all about equity, not so much about equality. It’s about being flexible on the issues that we feel the least strongly about and the other person giving a bit more when we ourselves need to be more firm about an issue. And for sure, when both partners encounter an issues neither can bend on, it dooms the relationship. And it’s hard, and I can tell how devastated you are about that.”
“Obviously, Zef isn’t here to counter, or add anything we say, so it’s important to remember that I only have your side of this situation, but. knowing what you do, do you think it’s possible that, perhaps not consciously, Zef sabotaged the relationship so she didn’t have to confront her own feelings about where it was going?” Sair asked, her warm brown eyes gazing at him softly.
~Sair Songz, CNS
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