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Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

Posted Sept. 23, 2021, 3:07 p.m. by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

Posted by Civilian Revna Freya McKenzie (Diplomatic Attache) in Find the Grace (Tag Sair)

(snip)

Revna sipped at the drink and then stared into it, almost as if looking for answers, but her attention was turned inward. “I don’t remember when they started after the initial incident but they have never really stopped once they started. The nature of my injury…I couldn’t breath…not more than short shallow breaths. Some nights I think the nightmares caused me to loose my breath, to struggle to stop breathing, and startle awake convinced the doctors hadn’t been able to save me. Others I think it was the other way around. Our bodies tend to deepen and lengthen our breaths as we sleep, and I could not.” Remembering these details obviously distressed Revna but she didn’t shy away from them either. She also knew this was not an answer to the question Sair had asked. She was simply processing out loud, allowing Sair to follow along as it were, as she tried to pin point when it started.

Revna breathed in and there was a hitch and the anticipation of pain, but there was none, and then she breathed deeper. “I think it started after my surgery six months ago. Before there was no way to really…feel, emotionally, the process of dealing with it. I was forced to be calm and serene about it because strong emotions have physical reactions, and I couldn’t breathe, and if I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t do anything but focus on trying to get air.” She blew out a shaky breath and closed her eyes, tears slipping out, and she let them. They were necessary and welcome after so long.

There were many approaches to dealing with post-traumatic symptoms, but until Sair knew Revna better, she wouldn’t know which was the best approach. A previous case history didn’t mean much necessarily because just because what one therapist did worked, didn’t necessarily mean it would work for Sair to implement

“I…I think the first time I knew something had triggered me was when my sister left the Centurion and I had to stay.”

Revna McKenzie

Sair nodded slowly. “Tell me more,” she said simply.

~Sair Songz, CNS

“When Cpt. Jameson had me transferred to Atlantis he arranged for my twin to come aboard as well. Atlantis needed a new teacher, and well, Runa is the best teacher in Federation space.” Revna was very proud of her sister and it showed. “She travelled with me back to Centurion for the surgery and stayed for awhile, but she had to go back, while I stayed. She was there for everything, she stayed in my quarters, on Atlantis, most nights. We’ve always been really close, she’s always been there for the really important things. I was feeling really lost with her leaving. Not having her there to....” several things coalesced together and Revna had a revelation…She set her cup down and pulled a necklace out from under her shirt and stared at it. “No…it started about two weeks after my surgery…but the night terror wasn’t about the attack…related, but not about that…” She blew out a breath, her cheeks puffing out, “How spiritual are you, Sair?”

Revna McKenzie

This was a hard question for a lot of reasons, the least of which being that every therapist had to decide how much to share with their patients about themselves. Some abjured it, while others felt that their patients responded better if there was an element of similitude that forged a connection. Sair had realized quickly after boarding the Manhattan that how she had been as a therapist on Kobliad was going to be rather different than out here, but what the exact balance was she was still was figuring out.

She gestured to the tree sculpture standing proudly by her door. “The mika tree represents a moral duty to serve my society, but for me it goes deeper than that. I believe we are all fundamentally connected and nothing I’ve encountered as a being in space leads me to believe this less. So while I don’t have strong opinions on creators or anything like that I can accept a level of mystery in my life that I don’t feel the need to analyze and explain.”

~Sair Songz, CNS


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