Posted by Fleet Captain Alexander Cochrane (Commanding Officer) in Deck 4 Garden- A Picnic

Posted by Civilian Sair Songz (Counselor) in Deck 4 Garden- A Picnic

(snip)

Kel listened attentively, her eyes shifting through emotions. There was so much she wanted to say, but how could she express just how much her daughter and grandson were loved and cherished, that she and Sal would give their lives if it meant Sair and Koro could live long and happy ones. That was how it was on Kobliad. A sad sort of smile settled onto her face as she gazed at Cochrane. “It makes sense, what you say. And maybe we’ll get to that point again in the future. We were not always this disjointed as a society. The strictness that we exist within has been necessary. But it wasn’t always that way. We once had a proud and thriving society where individual accomplishments could mean something. But we’ve lost something over the generations of war and strife that is hard to reclaim. I want so much for Sair and Koro to feel free and happy, but I am a mother, Captain. Try not to judge me too harshly, or my people, for wanting to keep such special people safe.”

Sair’s fingers rested on her edges of the prizar as her mother spoke and on a whim began to play another song, her metal tipped fingers traipsing across the strings and the sounds that emanating were not unlike if raindrops had a melody. The conversation happening right now was necessary but also so deeply personal. There were things about her people that were hard to talk about, even amongst people here she considered friends. She had originally left Kobliad to live, to explore and find out what the galaxy had to offer. But guilt and obligation, even after she had retrained, had driven her back to her homeworld. And she had slowly been suffocating ever since. “I’m tired of being the hero,” she all but whispered, her eyes closing as she played by feel alone, her fingers traipsing up and down the the minor scale.

“Sair…” Kel said, her face shifting into a distressed frown.

Sair shook her head. “I have told so many patients that you can’t pour from an empty cup. That taking take of oneself is not only okay but necessary. But so few listen and it took so much out of me to keep doing the same thing over again. To keep losing patient after patient. I’ve seen too much of death. I can’t do it anymore. I can’t go back. I don’t know if I’m supposed to be here on this ship or not, but it’s better than being there.”

“It’ll get better,” her mother said with considerable confidence.

Sair opened her eyes again, gazing deeply at her mother. “Yes, but not for a long time. And maybe one day I can return without the resentment, but I’ll live twenty years more than anyone else my age. Maybe even thirty or more if I stay in the Federation. And I know I’ll have the same death our people are forced to have, but I’ll be damned if I raise my son amongst all that sadness, that grief. He deserves joy. We all do. I do. So I get that people don’t have the skills to put a single person first unless it’s out of some selfish greed that hurts others, but I’m choosing a different path. I’m choosing me.”

Kel looked away, watching her grandson for a few moments before she nodded. But she turned het gaze back to Sair, who was still playing and shook her head. “Your father was right… he told me before Koro and I left that you were engaged in the greatest experiment any of our people have done in a very long time.” She chuckled. “It’s hard to let go though.”

Sair grinned. “I know.”

Kel looked at Cochrane and sighed slightly. “Captain, it was really nice to meet you, but I should go take care of something.”

Sair’s ridged brows furrowed more deeply as her fingers topped playing. “You’re going?”

“I’ll explain later, but yes.” Kel got up and kissed Sair on the top of the head and then ruffled Koro’s. With a bow of her head to Captain, she moved off.

Sair was taken aback and looked at Alex, momentarily speechless. “I’m sorry, this was not how I thought this would go.”

~Sair Songz, CNS

Alex shrugged and said “No apologies needed. Family can be quite difficult. Trust me, that is a fact I learned very early.” and he looked around at the remains of the picnic. “How about I help you clean this up and then you can go talk to your mother?” he offered. “‘Later’ is never something you want to put off too long.” and he got to his feet and began picking up plates and foodstuff.

Cochrane, CO

Her fingers still rested on the strings and as she watched him, Sair pressed down as if weighed down. “Sure,” she said softly, as she then began to careful removed her plectrum and place them back into the protective bag as she spoke to Koro in her native tongue, encouraging him to help pack up.

The boy was happy to be helpful it seemed and he picked up small items and attempted to put them back into the carrier. Sair just silently went about putting her prizar away. There was a reason she avoided talking about her world and people in depth. It just never amounted to pleasant conversation. After all, how many nice ways were there to talk about how your own people have invaded another place and led an occupation only to be taken down by a bioweapon that had caused such devastation? Then again, her mother wasn’t usually about to make normal conversations that much more difficult. She loved Kel, deeply, but right now, at this point in her life, Sair felt suffocated.

~Sair Songz, CNS