Posted April 4, 2022, 9:13 p.m. by Captain Tralla Sh'Zoarhi (Captain) (Kirt Gartner)
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Oshekye Aasu (Counselor) in Side Sim CNS office Tag CNS
Posted by Captain Tralla Sh’Zoarhi (Captain) in Side Sim CNS office Tag CNS
Posted by Captain Tralla Sh’Zoarhi (Captain) in Side Sim CNS office Tag CNS
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(Snip!)“I already have a daughter from a different union however I was not part of her life being that I was serving here in Starfleet at the time Me and my bond mates agreed that we would have her then I would be allowed to attend the academy but eventually her other parents…all died in tragic accidents her fathers were lost at sea on a fishing boat while her Zhenmother was killed by an Orion pirate group that attacked the dig site she was working so Lilith came to live with me and BJ on the Ark Angel for a while she is currently living on earth with some friends but even still…I was never part of her life and she has resented me for it I did my best when she was living with us but I just feel....LIke its proof that I am a horrible mother who should never have any more children despite how very much I want too!” she said stopping now looking out a window at the black void they sailed through
Tralla
Oshekye tilted their head, an empathetic frown touching their lips.
Though Tralla framed her struggle in unmistakable clarity, they sensed a more profound internal conflict. Aasu considered the emotions underlying her words. She preceded her self-accusation with a comment on Andorian cultural values. Why did they concern her? Her experience in Starfleet posed questions of balance and health. And the loss of her bondmates. They wondered how Tralla navigated parenthood while grieving and without her support system. Did she seek help? Aasu recalled her mentioning her desire to have children with Jazen, inhibited only by trepidations arising from her perceived misgivings with Lilith. Every word she uttered was clinically significant, but Aasu trusted this was the best place to start.
“I hear you,” Aasu eased in after several heartbeats of silence, “and all the fear and hurt and everything you’re feeling is valid. I know this is a lot to process, and it can be tough, but I would like to start with your relationship with Lilith. You said that she ‘resents’ you. What has happened to make you feel she resents you?”
— Oshekye Aasu, CNS
“well she does not really say it but she acts out a lot more with me than she does BJ I just don’t feel I have the same connection to her that I had with my own Shreva and Zhavey I know I was not there for her for a lot of things in her life and I am worried that if BJ and I have more children they will end up the same way because of how bad I am at parenting obviously…However, there is one other thing…7 years ago I was assimilated by the borg while I only spend all of an hour under their tender care before the USS Ark Angel rescued me and my two shipmates the fact remains These eyes…” she turned to look at the counselor bringing her right hand up pointing at her two Cybernetic eyes “these implants…” she continued turning the back of her right hand to show the mess of borg implants still left along with the Assimilation tubules “Are another reason why I feel like I would be a bad mother…I still have nightmares about 1 of 3 my borg designation” she spat the designation and explanation of it “Nightmares of that drone regaining control of my body to start assimilating my ship my crew, my family! How am I even still worthy to be a mother after that?” she asked still in the mode of Once i start talking I need to continue talking or I might not start talking about this again
Tralla
Aasu set down their stylus and listened with narrowed, attentive eyes. They chose not to interrupt, doubting their hollow advice would be of any value to her. Tralla seemed to need something that few were willing to offer: to be heard. When she revealed her implants, Aasu looked over them with a softened expression before meeting her gaze. “Your family means a great deal to you,” they reflected, “and the thought of losing control – of hurting them as the Borg hurt you – haunts you.” There was more here than Aasu trusted could be resolved in one session, but they hoped to help Tralla navigate the swells, if only by simply getting her to talk about it. These feelings, Aasu thought, were not so disconnected as they appeared. “What does a ‘worthy’ mother look like to you, Tralla?”
— Oshekye Aasu
“I…I really don’t quite know how to answer that, to be honest. My own Shreva and Zhavey were always there for me, sports, my dabbling in Botony, etc I guess that’s the main thing…I was never there for Lilith for any of those types of things…I was here in Starfleet flying in fighters or tinkering with engines and such going from one ship to the next while she had to suffer through witnessing the deaths of her other three parents I am the only one she has left and I just know that were I in her shoes I would not be too happy with my Shreva either hell I’m not even there for her right now…She is on earth staying with a friend and my friend’s daughter whom I met on the Ark Angel” she said flopping down in a chair clearly it was burning her up she did not feel like she was worthy to be a mother but she wanted to be and yet clearly letting Lilith stay on earth with Jade and Mia was the best thing for her but that ment she was not there to support Lilith and be a part of her life
Tralla
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