STF

Memory: Luna

Posted Sept. 10, 2023, 6:04 p.m. by Captain Marceau Renault (Commanding Officer) (Lucas Foxley)

Posted by Lieutenant Helena Laursen (Helm/Nagivation Officer) in Memory: Luna

Posted by Captain Marceau Renault (Commanding Officer) in Memory: Luna

Posted by Lieutenant Helena Laursen (Helm/Nagivation Officer) in Memory: Luna
Posted by… suppressed (51) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)
Akela nodded, “I’ll bring you both back something.” She headed down the corridor toward the large mess and out of sight.

Yvette, was sitting on her bunk next to Helena’s, doodling on a notepad. She looked up when Marceau came in and waved. She got up and walked over to him. “She’s still asleep. She’s barely moved the whole 8 hours. Whatever Akela gave her kept her out. She didn’t even stir when everyone came through during the lunch break.”

Yvette

“Allez manger,” Marceau said in French. Then he realized he’d spoken in French and translated: “Go eat.” He sat on the bunk on the other side of Helena’s, reclining onto it. “I will stay with Helena.”

~ Marceau

Yvette being one of their linguists didn’t mind when Marceau slipped into French. It kept her on her toes. “Elle ira bien. Nous nous en assurerons..” She slipped out of the bunk room as he sat. Helena slept for at least another hour. Some of the squad came in and saw Marceau sitting beside her and were unsure if they should stay or go. They all wanted to know what happened but wouldn’t ask. They were exceptionally quiet, not wanting to wake Helena up.

“Merci. Elle a besoin de se reposer et de faire une pause.” Marceau replied in French. He took a rest himself while he waited for her to wake, not sleeping, but eyes closed.

Kenneth was in a foul mood the whole day, which didn’t help the speculation. He was not happy with the route that Driscoll had taken and was going to talk to Marceau about reporting him for it. Full fledged captain or not, it wasn’t okay. What really was bothering him was how Driscoll mentioned how Helena hadn’t been with the squad in their off times. He felt like it was his fault, he was the one who handed down the punishment. Even though it had been lifted, Helena still stayed away. He’d made her a target. At least that’s how he felt, and he was angry at himself. He sat down on the opposite side of Marceau. “She still asleep?”

Kenneth

Marceau nodded. “I am glad she is. She needs the sleep. And the break from… Everything.” He gave a long sigh. “I can’t wait for this mission to be over.”

~ Marceau

“Not like last year is it?” Kenneth said. “The work isn’t bad. Not really. I’m enjoying really using everything we’ve learned, but all this other.” Kenneth shook his head and then sighed. “I feel like I did this to her. Maybe you should look for a different first officer.”

Kenneth

“No,” Marceau said. “Not like last year. I don’t mind space and we get real bunks.” He glanced at Kenneth and shook his head. “There is no better first officer. How do you think you did this?”

~ Marceau

Kenneth rested his elbows on his knees. He leaned forward and clasped his hands together. He glanced at Helena and away. “Something Driscoll said. About how they had noticed Helena wasn’t spending her free time with us any more. I… I didn’t mean to make that happen.”

Kenneth

Marceau clapped him on the shoulder. “You were right that there had to be consequences for her actions. You didn’t make her stop spending her time with us. You made her stay away from…” He realized even after the punishment ended why she had been staying away from the crew. She didn’t like Lucy. And Lucy had included herself in everything. “Lucy.” He finished and then sighed. “It is not your fault. We will fix this. We’re the blackjacks. We always do and always will.”

~ Marceau

Kenneth nodded, but the responsibility weighed heavy on him. “Do,” he sighed, “you don’t think Helena feels that way do you? That we… that I excluded her from us?”

Kenneth

“I think Lucy excluded her, not you. I think Helena knows that.” Marceau looked at him. “I’m going to have a talk with her. Akela said she said some pretty concerning things.”

~ Marceau

Kenneth nodded. Marceau was right, now that he thought about it. Why hadn’t any of them said anything? Stopped it? They should have. He looked sharply at Marceau. “Concerning? What…?” He shook his head. Akela and Marceau were doctors, that was confidential. “I think I’m going to go find something to do.”

Kenneth

Marceau was angry at Lucy and himself for letting it happen. “Don’t blame yourself, Ken. Helena will be okay.”

~ Marceau

Kenneth nodded and headed to check on everyone else. He knew Yvette had switched shifts so he also made sure to check and make sure she had gotten a meal.

Helena slept awhile longer, but not much. She rolled in her sleep and groaned. She had slept long enough and hard enough she was stiff and her head hurt. Her hand presses against her head and she cursed in her native Icelandic.

Helena

Marceau sat up as soon as he heard her start moving. He smiled at her. “Helena. How do you feel?”

~ Marceau

Helena looked over, used to finding him in the next bunk. She grinned, a flippant remark on its way out. Then her face changed. A brief flash of sadness and then a neutral mask as shenfully woke up and recent events returned to her. She sat up. “I’m fine. Ready to go back to work.” Assuming she wasn’t being discharged by Driscoll.

Helena

“Helena, attendez.” He said, slipping into French again. A sure sign of his anxiety and stress. The words sounded like ‘’elena attonday’. “Please, talk to me. What’s wrong?” He asked, giving her a concerned look. Not even as a cadet captain or doctor, but as her friend.

~ Marceau

Helena looked conflicted. Right now the problem felt like to her that she was his friend, but not the other way around any more. If it wasn’t for the fact he wouldn’t fly with anyone else, she was certain he would have traded her to another squad by now. Not that it mattered. Driscoll was going to kick her out.

The worst part was, she hadn’t been insulting or threatening Lucy. Not at first, but then that high priced doll twisted it. So no Helena shouldn’t have put her in her place the way she did. The whole squad sided with her. Lucy took advantage of it too. Not even when it was work related did anyone stand up for her, or with Driscoll. It was fine. They made their choice obvious. And because she couldn’t attend meetings, she wasn’t contributing like she should to the team. So Driscoll was right about her.

She looked at him, unable to say anything. It didn’t matter. She just wanted to go back to work. Maybe if she went to Driscoll and told him the strain was too much, she couldn’t handle it, he would ket her resign without penalty?

Helena

Marceau looked upset and worried. “Helena I’ve missed you this year. I… I’m sorry I didn’t see what Lucy was doing. Making you stay away by coming to everything. I should’ve known she hadn’t really had a change of heart about me serving.” She’d said she had but now he was pretty sure she had an ulterior motive. “No one blames you for your not being around.”

Helena shrugged. “I blame me. I opened my mouth, I got the punishment I deserved. You all were forced to make a choice, and you did.” She’d defended him, stood up for him when he was sick and Lucy was taking advantage. It wasn’t like Helena had never had conflict with a friend before or a major disagreement, but this felt different. They all chose Lucy, but the only one that hurt was Marceau. But he loved Lucy, or thought he did. Helena wouldn’t respect him nearly as much if he couldn’t put his partner before his friends. But then why did it hurt so much? She shrugged again. “You all did fine without me.”

“No, we didn’t.” Marceau insisted. “We passed our courses yes, but Helena, we all missed you. Especially me.” He looked at her with a sad, upset look. “You said what you said. There had to be consequences for it. But it wasn’t supposed to be all year. I didn’t-” he stopped and sighed again. “I want you with the squad. Nowhere else.”

Helena nodded, but it was more because she knew that’s what he wanted. “That’s what I want, too, but if Driscoll has his way, I won’t be serving anywhere.”

Finally he sighed, hands in his lap. “I spoke to Driscoll on your behalf and Kenneth and I are considering filing a formal complaint against him. He was harassing you on purpose, because of some training they want you to do this summer. He won’t do it anymore, okay?”

~ Marceau

Helena looked at him pure confusion. “Training?” That made no sense. What more torture did he have in store for her? “You didn’t have to do that. Now he’ll take it out in you. I’ve obviously messed up somewhere.” She could tell he was upset, and gave him a reassuring smile. “Probably sending me to remedial boot camp. I’ll be so hot and fit when I come back, I’ll burn the dorms down with a look.” She reached down for her boots to slip them on. She didn’t know what to say to him. She didn’t like him being upset. “It’s fine, Marceau. I made my choices.”

Helena

“No!” Marceau seemed to get more upset as she started pulling her boots on. “Flight training. With…” he couldn’t remember who, “Someone older than us. A group. He said they’d harass you and he wanted to be sure you were up to it. But he did it in such a terrible way…” he looked at her again, “Please, Helena. It’s not fine. Don’t try to brush this away.” He was stressed and anxious, and to Helena, even back then, clearly so. He looked like this was the airport at Boston all over again.

~ Marceau

She paused as she slipped the second boot on and set her foot on the floor. She turned on her bunk to face him. Her expression was all he needed to know she didn’t think any of it was okay. “What do you want me to say, Marceau? That I was wrong? I have, over and over again.” Her behavior violated the code of conduct for officers and cadets, but Helena knew in her gut that she was right in that argument. “That I’m sorry? I have, I’ll say it a million more times if you want. I’m sorry I upset you and made things difficult. That wasn’t my intention. That I my best friend almost died, and I lost him anyway? That I miss you and everyone else. That’s it’s lonely being a cadet with no squad? Lie and say it will never ever happen again. I can’t, all I can say is I’ll do my best not to.” She blinked to clear the wateriness in her eyes and met his gaze again. “Tell me what you want me to do or say. I’ll do it.” She would, without question do anything for Marceau.

Helena

“I know you’re sorry, I know you know it was wrong. And I know you were right.” Marceau actually looked like he might cry when she said she’d lost him. “You haven’t Helena, I’m right here. I’m not going anywhere and I don’t want you too. Please, believe me. I don’t want you to say anything. I just want you back in our squad where you belong. I want my best friend back.”

~ Marceau

“Marceau…” she hated seeing him that way. He had so few people in his life that wanted him for just himself. She’d been incredibly self centered she supposed. She’d stopped making an effort because it felt like no one else was. That wasn’t fair to him at all. She shouldn’t have done that. “I will always be your best friend, Marceau. Always. I never stopped.”

Helena

“I never stopped being yours, either.” Marceau moved to her bunk and gave her a quick hug. “I’ve missed you, Helena.” And if what Driscoll said was true, she’d be gone all summer. “I’m sorry for what happened. I don’t know if I said that. But I am.”

~ Marceau

“It’s not your fault, Ljón.” Helena hugged him back, just a bit longer than a quick hug. She didn’t know what her summer would be like, but watching him spend it all with Lucy, staying at her apartment the whole time would be awful. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

Helena

That was the weird thing, Marceau didn’t really want to spend the whole summer with Lucy. He just didn’t want to spend it alone, either. He wished Helena and Lucy got along better. But he wasn’t going to say that. Instead he decided to change the topic. “Are you hungry? I have food for both of us.”

~ Marceau

Helena didn’t like Lucy. It was that simple. She had tried, really tried, to like her. To get along with her and make her feel welcome… until Marceau got sick. She would continue try, but Lucy didn’t like her either.

Helena nodded, “Food sounds good.”

Helena

Even if Marceau and Helena didn’t know they liked each other, Lucy did. She could tell and it drove her crazy. She wouldn’t hate Helena so much if she didn’t think Marceau was going to leave her for Helena someday. Marceau gave Helena the tray from the mess, cold now but still good, and then grabbed the second tray for himself. He had waited so he could eat with her. “I’m glad you got some extra sleep. You needed it.”

~ Marceau

Helena looked at the tray and had to smile. No dairy anywhere on it. She glanced at Marceau’s tray, looking for anything that might hint have being made with or near peanuts. Even though she hadn’t been able to be around as much, she always checked anyway. She had even watched as he unpacked to make sure he had his rescue pen. She’d bugged Akela endlessly about making sure they had extras in their medical kit. She’d double checked all their ration packs too when no one was looking. Granted they didn’t need them because this was a Fleet facility but they had them because crap happened. “I was fine, really.” She stopped and shook her head, “It helped, thank you.” She waited until he sat down to start eating. The food was cold, but it was still good. The coffee was still hot though.

Helena

Marceau had missed trading with her. Sometimes the mess made things he couldn’t eat. He hadn’t needed his rescue pen though. He was careful, extremely so, so they wouldn’t give him a medical discharge over his allergy. The food was cold, but good. “I am going to tell Kenneth we’re filing that complaint. I don’t care what the captain thought he was preparing you for. A captain bullying a cadet isn’t right.”

~ Marceau

Helena focused on her food. She wished he wouldn’t. She had enough problems without getting an instructor mad. However, if it was anyone else in the squad, any other officer being treated the way she was, she would file the complaint herself. She nodded. “Okay.” She sighed. She couldn’t imagine it was anything good for her that Driscoll was preparing her for. “Maybe I just don’t belong here.”

Helena

Marceau gave her a look like she was crazy. “Don’t belong here?! Why? Why would you think that?” He looked her in the eye and set a hand on her shoulder. “Helena, you love flying. You love Starfleet. I can’t imagine you doing anything else. I… I can’t imagine serving without knowing you are too.”

~ Marceau

Because she kept getting bullied and singled out. Last year and this year. Helena liked people, got along with everyone. She didn’t pick fights or antagonize people. She did love to fly, and she wanted to be part of what Star Fleet was doing. She didn’t want her life to be one constant battle after another. Life was hard enough without that. She knew not everyone would like her, but… “I just seem to really rub people the wrong way. They don’t just dislike me, they despise me for no apparent reason. I want to help Earth grow and continue to find peace. I can’t do that when I’m apparently the human equivalent of a black cat.”

Helena

“You don’t rub me the wrong way. Or the squad.” Marceau said. “Morgan was just jealous you fly so well. And Driscoll…” Marceau sighed a long sigh. “I don’t know. But Helena, please don’t quit. It will get better. It always does.” It had for him. His home life had been… full of conflict. Always stressful. Now, besides the conflict between Helena and Lucy, things were so much different. Academy so far was everything he’d hoped it would be.

~ Marceau

Helena shook her head. “I don’t quit. You know that. Even when I should. Just ignore me, I’m feeling sorry for myself.” It wasn’t just Morgan and Driscoll. Morgan had stopped being a jerk, but the other upper years hadn’t. And Lucy…Lucy was a quiet bully. If Marceau stayed with her, one day he was going to have to make a permanent choice between them. His life would be one headache after another otherwise. Helena wasn’t going to do anything to mess up his happiness.

Helena

Marceau wished he knew what to do with Lucy. He loved her, but even he had to admit she caused problems. She was tiring, even to him. But when she wasn’t being… like that, he really liked her. He just didn’t know what to do. “I want to help you, Helena.” He sighed, “I’m sorry, I wish there was something I could do.” He really, really did. He wanted Helena to be happy. And he looked really upset he couldn’t make that happen.

~ Marceau

She smiled at him. “I know. I’ll be okay, really. Too much sleep mixed with sedatives makes me pitiful. You know that.” Stress and worry over what Driscoll was going to do to her killed her appetite. She knew she should eat, but she felt sick. “Thanks for sitting with me.” It was then that Helena realized the room was empty except for them. Everyone else had slipped away.

Helena

Marceau smiled. “It’s no problem.” He wished he knew what was bothering her. He noticed she wasn’t eating. “Please eat.” He said, looking at the tray and then her. “S’il te plaît, mangez.” He repeated the plea in French. “I’m really worried about you, Helena.”

~ Marceau

She moved the food around with her fork, “I know,” then stabbed a bite and ate it. She hadn’t been missing meals at all. Just nerves made her stomach hurt, and her head hurt. Maybe she wasn’t drinking enough? “I’m just… worried. Nervous? You said Driscoll was testing me for some assignment. That makes no sense. It’s stupid. It couldn’t have been condoned, right? I really don’t want to find out what he has planned.”

Helena

“It sounded like a good thing. I don’t know what it is but I wouldn’t worry too much. Driscoll is just a jerk.” Marceau ate from his own tray. When he finished he set it aside and hugged Helena again. “Will you talk to me? Next time you have a problem? Please?”

~ Marceau

She jodded as she ate. Knowing he would harp on it. She didn’t believe it was good at all. Helena felt hurt. Everyone knew Driscoll was a problem, Lucy was a problem and they didn’t do anything. She had no idea why today Marceau and Kenneth decided to do something about Driscoll. And telling Marceau to do something about Lucy was wrong. The other thing…well maybe Helena deserved it. She had been ostracized by her squad. She was alone and it made the Academy look bad. Besides, she’d handled it. Maybe she was being a brat and having a tantrum. She was just really confused, and she was still tired. It felt like all her self control was nothing but ash. Her emotions felt raw. “Nothing to add to what you saw.”

Helena

Marceau nodded and then sighed. He could tell she was still upset and he just didn’t know how to fix things with her. He wished he did. He felt like he was going to lose her as a friend and he didn’t want to but aside dumping Lucy he didn’t know what to do. And he couldn’t just dump Lucy because Helena didn’t like her. What could he do?

~ Marceau

Helena hugged him back. “I’m sorry. I’m not myself. That isn’t your fault. It’s no one’s fault but mine. Maybe sleep was a bad idea. I’m not too tired to ignore how I feel now.” She grinned trying to make a joke. She squeezed his hand. “We’re okay. No matter what.” Honestly Lucy wasn’t the biggest problem, she was just an obstacle that Helena knew she should stay away from so it didn’t make things worse. If Helena hadn’t mouthed off things would still be neutral. But she did and that cascaded to other problems. But that had nothing really to do with Lucy.

Helena

“You weren’t too tired before. You’ve seemed like not yourself for days.” Marceau looked down, “I wish I’d acted sooner, but I hesitated. I wasn’t sure about confronting a Captain. I… I’m not sure I’m cut out to be squad captain.” He hugged her back, and then let her go and smiled a little. “I’m glad we’re okay.”

~ Marceau

Helena shook her head and bumped his shoulder with hers. “I feel the same way. He’s a captain. He put in the years and the training and experience. If he’s unhappy with my performance, there had to be a reason.” She shook her head again. “Don’t doubt yourself. You and Kenneth only started command courses this year, and they continue well beyond graduation. You two have the highest marks in those classes. You’re learning and doing well.” She sighed. “I guess… I just don’t want… we’re best friends Marceau. I don’t want anyone to think you are playing favorites just because of me. I don’t want to mess this up for you.”

Helena

“He wasn’t unhappy with your performance. He was just bullying you because of this training he mentioned. He’s just like those upper years. It was supposed to be a test for Kenneth and I too. To see if we’d ‘do the right thing’ regardless of his rank. Even he said we should’ve acted sooner.” Then he looked at Helena and shook his head. “No one thinks that. I’ve been having Kenneth make sure I treat everyone fairly. You’re not going to mess anything up for me.”

~ Marceau

“Maybe not anyone on the squad. From the outside looking in… people make assumptions that reflect badly on the squad which in turn affects you and Kenneth. That can affect how people work with us later.” She shook her head. “Driscoll can’t expect a cadet to defy a seasoned superior officer without mountains of cause.” Helena didn’t blame them. Either one nor anyone on the squad. Knowing Driscoll was messing with Marceau made her angry. “He’s a bully.”

Helena

“Maybe…” Marceau said and then shrugged. “It’s not worth it to me if I can’t enjoy my time in academy and that includes spending time with you.” He nodded then, “He is. He said it shouldn’t matter the rank of someone doing something wrong, but.... their rank does matter. Going after the wrong person could ruin a career.”

~ Marceau

Helena nodded. “As a CO I get that you need to be able to stand your ground. But as a cadet? It seems a poor time to practice that scenario.” Helena ate a little more before putting the tray aside. “Having you here has made this more fun than I thought it would be. I’m glad you missed that flight in Boston.”

Helena

Marceau smiled and chuckled a little. “I’m glad you were nice enough to stop and help me.” Plenty of pilots wouldn’t have. Helena was just that good of a person. He never wanted to lose her as a friend. “You have made this better for me in every way.” More fun, for sure. But then she was there for him, every time he needed her. He wasn’t sure he’d have made it this far without her.

~ Marceau

“Hey, we gotta stick together, and I had room. Good thing there wasn’t anyone else needing a ride.” Helena laughed. “It might have gotten cramped in the cargo hold.” She bumped his shoulder playfully, “You’d still be my co-pilot.”

Helena

Marceau smiled. “I make a terrible co-pilot.” He looked her suddenly, “That reminds me. If I continue in the command track after graduation, I will have to become certified to pilot shuttles and ships.”

~ Marceau

Helena nodded and tapped the end of her nose. “I know. I’m going to teach you. You will do great. I will make sure. Before you know it, you really can be my co-pilot.” She grinned because she knew he hated it, and would never chose to fly himself.

Helena

Marceau was terrified of the idea of flying himself. He could barely stand to be in a shuttle, let alone fly it. He gave her a nervous smile. “You will be an excellent teacher.”

~ Marceau

“And you will be an excellent student. You may never enjoy it, but you will learn and pass. I promise.” Helena downed the last of her coffee and ate some more. She was eating slowly because she was procrastinating. Marceau promised she wasn’t in trouble, but the idea of going to see Driscoll made her feel sick.

Helena

Marceau hugged her again. “I don’t even know if I can do it. The idea makes me sick.” He smiled. “I’m happy we talked. I don’t know what I’d do without you with me.”

~ Marceau

“Me too.” Helena squeezed his hand. “I know it does, but you have me. Always. Nothing will change that. Noone will change that.” She sat up a little, “You know Kenneth will have to take those same tests. If it helps the three of us can train together.”

Helena

Marceau squeezed her hand back. “Maybe. I’m not sure if I’d prefer that or just you.” He hugged her again. “Merci, Helena.”

~ Marceau


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