Posted Jan. 30, 2019, 5:21 p.m. by Ensign Karina Niles (Doctor) (Melissa Aragon)
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Assistant Counsellor) in Holodeck 2- Karina’s Eval
Posted by Ensign Karina Niles (Doctor) in Holodeck 2- Karina’s Eval
(snip)
“I see,” she said simply before draining her small mug. Janna set it down and looked out at the holographic people going about their lives. “Are you? Because I’m not. Some moments are okay, but man, there are days when it feels impossible to wrap my brain around it all. And that’s not even including the sometimes quite rational fear about my physical issues.”
~Janna Kingston, ACNS
She looked at the woman and just stared for a moment. After a rather long moment, she finally blinked and her voice was shaky. “I… yes. I’m fine. Sure, there are nightmares sometimes. I think I would be sent to you if I ‘wasn’t’ having some of them on ocassion. I mean, those creatures, the whole thing, was crazy. Right?” She tried to laugh but it was nervous.
Kingston nodded. “Being burnt by toxic blood rain wasn’t high on my to-do list that day, especially after considering we had to evaluate the ship first.”
She held up her arm where it had been burned. “My wounds are healed, and I am alive. My other ‘self’ thought it better to sacrafice herself because the experience was something I would need in the future. To treat those on the ship, and to help if we ever got caught in a similar situation. So,” she swallowed and smiled but it didn’t quite reach her eyes. “So… I mean, I’m really fine. I work because it’s what I’m here to do. I would think you would go after those ‘not’ at their posts. Right?” She grabbed the wrist of the passing waitress, then apologized realizing how hard she had grabbed. “Sorry… another please… for us both.” She put her hands in her lap and waited for the refill.
Karina
DoctorJanna was quiet for a few moments before she spoke, making sure she knew where she wanted to take the conversation. It wasn’t always necessary to have a trajectory, but in this case there were some important things for them to discuss. “It’s not the working aspect that is the issue, Karina. Working, exercising… they don’t necessarily help you cope. They can be aspects of the process, but there are times when they becomes simply tools of avoidance.”
~Janna Kingston, ACNS
Cope…
Karina rolled the word over in her mind. But then the smile returned and she shook her head. “Well I know that many folks came out of the experience a little worse for wear. I see them every day; nightmares, headaches anxiety attacks… The see things out of the corner of their eyes, things like that. One women, scaled so bad in the toxic rain won’t use her shower anymore. She cleans in tub or sonics when we are at a place she can get off the ship and use it.” She had known many came out far worse than her. Perhaps it was her medical training, perhaps it was denial. But whatever it was, she was fine.
“As for me. Other than the occasional nightmare, I am fine. Honest.” She smiled and took the drink when it was delivered. Had it not been so scalding, she probably would have tossed half the drink down her throat the moment it arrived. Instead, she blew on it and looked over the cup rim at Janna. “It’s not like I am on the verge of a psychotic break, or anything.” The words were once more phrased like she had spoken them out loud only to convince herself it wasn’t just her imagination.
Karina
DoctorJanna leaned forward and rested her folded arms on the table top, ignoring her drink for a moment. “No one said you were,” she said gently, looking to meet Niles’ gaze. Karina had chosen those words though and her unacknowledged fear sat there like a beacon to someone like Janna.
Sitting upright again, the counsellor reached her refilled drink and took a small sip. “Tell me about the last nightmare you had.”
~Janna Kingston, ACNS
Karina looked at Janna for a long moment. There was a war inside her head whether to play the game, or walk away. Eventually, the war stale mated. “About a week ago. One of the creatures with the toxic blood captured Benja.. Doctor Grey.” Her stammer at the familiar use of her supervisor’s name was covered swiftly. “I couldn’t grab him in time.” She shrugged like it was nothing. “I suppose you will say it’s my subconscious working thru the facts I couldn’t save everyone and the loss of crewmates from either the incident itself or the choice not to continue when the interception happened.” The words were acid bitten like an accusation she expected to come at her from every direction.
Karina
Doctor
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