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Late at night - Arboretum 2

Posted Feb. 17, 2019, 10:09 a.m. by Lieutenant Julien Smith (Doctor) (Julia Hager)

Julien entered the arboretum, garbed only in his shorts he wore for sleep. Arboretum 2 on deck 26 was just below where he had his quarters, those were small decks, otherwise only occupied by science support facilities and parts of the computer core. This time of the night, nobody was around and the very short trip to Arboretum 2 had become something of a habit these last few nights.

His bare feet made no sound as he walked to the far side and sat on a bench below a large apple tree and sat on the bench there, looking out through a large bulkhead window into the vast emptyness of space.

Placing his elbows on his legs, he let his face fall into the palm of his hands and pulled at his short black locks, running his fingers through his hair. There was a time when he had hated what they’d done to his body, right now he wished that all of his head was android, not just part of his skull. Then he could flip a switch, like Data, and simply switch his brains off.

His past was always present in his thoughts, he saw the images like a movie on reapeat - all the things he was missing so badly.

His son, running through the tall grass on Zahara, looking at Julien with eyes just like his own. His daughter Flavia looking up from her crib to him with golden eyes, full of love. Eyes just like her mother’s. La’kia at a large reception in the captial of Zahara in her honour. He would always love her, admire her, even though they could not be together.
The timid science crewmember who had drawn him out of his red haze and depression that night on the Genesis - she no longer existed. She was an ambassador now, a leader of her species, tied to her planet and her people and children through more than just love.

Then he saw his bridge, Calvin sitting to his right and Riley to his left, always aware of Julien’s feelings. David’s bickering with Calvin and Ben at the helm, sticking to protocol while grinning from ear to ear. Sage and him, discussing life, love and quantum physics in medicine while having a cooked dinner and red wine; the silent Thomas, making a bottle of booze appear to get drunk with Julien although he wasn’t really into the stuff, the way they all had looked at him when he had told them he would lay down his command…
Chan accusing him of leaving for all the wrong reasons and the way she and little Sheela looked at him. As if he was so much more than their Captain and godfather.

If he was on the Genesis right now, Riley would have felt Julien’s turmoil and would already stand next to him, looking at Julien with a slightly reproachful but kind look and smile and would ask Julien what was up. But there was nobody, he was alonge. Utterly alone.

And he didn’t want to cry, so he screamed a battle cry into the emptyness of space, a bid of defiance against the pain and the emptiness he felt inside.

  • Julien

T’Pon often found herself unable to sleep these days due to the kicking of her very active child. The scream pierced the darkness and reached her ears sitting under the miniature baobab tree she had adopted as her second home. She started to her feet and peered through the gloom at the man almost out of sight near the edge of the space. She sat down again hoping he hadn’t seen her through the foliage, such pain should not be interrupted.

T’Pon (Gardener)

In the next moment Julien’s right ear picked up a sound that didn’t belong in this environment and was not natural. He straightened and looked around, switching to night vision with his right eye, as it was pretty dark and zooming in a little. He spotted T’Pon right away and took a deep breath, marshalling his strength and forcing his iron control back into place, locking down on the emotions. It had become way too easy to do this. But then, it was part of being a Captain.

He got up and walked over, scanning the medical crew files for the Vulcan woman. T’Pon was her name… the groundskeeper and oh… a recent mother with S’Raal? What an odd pairing, he thought.

When he reached her he gave her a smile and a nod. “Hello T’Pon. I’m sorry for disturbing you. I was not aware that I wasn’t alone.” he said in his deep baritone. “My name is Julien Smith, I’m a new doctor here.”

  • Julien Smith, doctor

T’Pon sat down again with some difficulty her centre of gravity offset by the baby. “My husband S’Raal mentioned you” she said with a smile that looked odd on a Vulcan face. “Please forgive me if I broke your reverie with my presence, I am prone to late night walks these days”. She studied the man carefully, even in her pregnant state she was still relatively quiet and fluid in her movements, it was troubling that he had detected her.

T’Pon (Gardener)

Julien did his best at his trademark charming smile, but didn’t quite manage. “Please, as groundskeeper it is your prerogative to be here. Please give my regards to your husband…” he wanted to take his leave, but also, without thinking he wanted to make sure she was fine, so he had dialed up his auditory receptors to hear her heartbeat and maybe even that of the child.

The heartbeat he heard was unlike her mother’s, faster and somehow double up as if two beat almost simultaneously.

“Are you ok?” he asked kindly.

  • Julien Smith, doctor

“Apart from being in a cumbersome state I’m fine” she said quite emphatically and then decided that there was no point in pretending she hadn’t heard his cathartic release, “You however did not sound fine a moment ago. It is not my business to pry as to why this is or was but it is also not in me not to at the very least offer aid to someone who may need it”.

T’Pon Gardener

Julien smiled a sad smile and let his head hang down for a second, nodding. Then he looked up again at her, deciding to let down his walls a little bit. If a Vulcan could smile and showed interest in his emotions, then surely he could be open about it - at least in that respect.
His mismatched green eyes when he met hers again were full of pain and a certain emptyness.

“I’m lonely, that’s all. I have two very young children and a … family and a home, that I can’t be with. It is the first time for me that I’m separated from all of it and I’m learning to cope with it. So nothing unusual or out of the ordinary. I’ll manage, but thank you for your concern.”
Now that he heard his own words, it did sound very ordinary. If he deducted the fact that his home was the Genesis and his family his crew, and that his children were bound to stay on a planet while he only felt happy among the stars, it was a very normal story. He should really stop whining and get his shit together, like thousands of other Starfleet Officers he thought.

  • Julien Smith

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