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Daggum's Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers

Posted April 30, 2021, 4:15 p.m. by Lindsay B

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Daggum’s Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers

Posted by Lindsay Bayes in Daggum’s Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Daggum’s Quarters- Star-Crossed Lovers
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

At this, tears slipped down her cheeks and she looked down for a moment. Taking a deep breath, she forced herself to lift her head and meet his gaze. =/\=Because I loved Kodell, Dag. For better or worst. He was my first love. And… earlier I told you about the guy I was sort of casual with. Well, it went badly, just as Alex predicted. He wanted more from me than I could give, more than I stated up front was there to have. I have never had a healthy relationship. It’s not an exaggeration. There was always some unhealthy component to each one. It’s my MO. I either find emotionally unavailable men or they take advantage of me in some way. And I let them. Because I crave that feeling of being loved all the while doubting I can even experience it.=/\= Good Gods woman just spit it out!

=/\=You remind me of Kodell, Dag. But only the best parts of what I had with him. Because… I think I might truly love you, but because of all of this with Kodell, I doubt it all. My feelings especially and I can’t seem to separate it all out. And I’m so sorry for that!=/\= Okay, now she was sobbing. =/\=And I feel terrible for possibly even causing you the remotest amount of pain.=/\= There. It was out.

~Faye Calloway, Data Specialist, USS Manhattan

Daggum sat back, well and truly stunned. His mind raced and his heart went even faster. She… she… lovedhim? She said she loved him… her words… him… she loved him.

His brain screamed and yelled at finally managed to get a single thought through. =/\= Faye… you haven’t hurt me… not even a little. So I need you to relax… and I need you to listen. And I need you to hear me, Faye… okay? =/\= and he leaned close to the screen. He took a deep breath and then started talking slowly and evenly.

Faye seemed to take a few moments to gather herself, her chest rising and falling slowly in measured breaths.

=/\= Faye… I am so sorry for the pain you have had. And I am angry… so very angry… at those that have hurt you. But I’m not them, Faye. And I won’t ever be them. =/\= and he smiled caringly at her.

=/\=I know,=/\= she whispered.

=/\= This Kodell… he seems from what you say to have been a decent guy. I mean, I heard stories growing up about Masters falling in love with slaves and giving them their freedom… but to us they were just ways of holding out hope. So as far as he goes, I can’t say anything one way or another… except I am glad you found love in a situation like that. And I’m sure it was mutual, because it’s you so why wouldn’t he? =/\= and he smiled at her.

Faye visible flushed and looked down for a moment.

=/\= But what I can speak of is the other one… Dez… I’ve known dozens like him. They call themselves ‘Majordomos’, and they are arrogant and manipulative pieces of s&^t. So what I don’t want you to ever do again is think about him and Kordell in the same thought. They aren’t the same… not even close. I know this because… well… because when a majordomo was found lacking, there was only one punishment. =/\= and he leaned back and his eyes filled with hurt and anger.

=/\= They throw them in the Pits with slaves like me. And we are supposed to make them suffer… more so than anyone else. =/\= and he leaned forward again. =/\= That’s what Dez was reacting to Faye… not you. The thought of you and his boss. The thought that you would replace him. If it wasn’t you, it was someone else after you. His reaction to you wasn’t a slap to your feelings for Kordell… or Kordell for you. It was simple self-preservation… because he knew that he was on the way out. That’s all. So please… never let that dung-heap color your thoughts again. Just remember that your time… screwed up as it was… was nothing short of miraculous. Trust me… it really was. =/\= and he smiled at her softly. =/\= If I could, I’d buy that Kordell guy a drink. He kept you safe so I could meet you. I guess I owe him because… =/\= and his voice caught in his throat and his eyes welled up with tears.

=/\= … because I love you more than anything or anyone in this universe, Faye Calloway. I have since I first saw you and I have never stopped. And I never will. =/\=

Daggum

Finally, after what probably seemed like ages, Faye smiled and the tears that fell were matched with a brightness in her eyes, like the sun had come in and (at least for the time) brushed the storm clouds away.

She laughed. A bright happy laugh. “Oh Gods, Dag, what do we do now?” Another laugh. =/\=I mean, I’ve waited my entire life to feel like this and now… how is this even supposed to work? =/\=

~Faye Calloway

Daggum smiled and said with a laugh =/\= I have no idea! =/\= and he smiled and laughed and tears welled up and fell from his eyes and he just looked at her for a long time. =/\= I don’t know, but I know it will Faye. I know it. =/\= and he leaned back and just smiled at her.

=/\=Well, between us and our resourcefulness I give it high odds,=/\= she said with a lopsided grin before letting out a breath along with all the tension.

A sudden thought jerked him from his reverie of her face and the fact that she said she loved him and his eyes went wide and then he said =/\= Hang on a sec. Don’t… don’t go anywhere. =/\= and the screen went blank, but the call was still connected. After a few minutes, Daggum’s face reappeared and he was grinning.

In the time he had taken to come back, Faye had shifted her position so one foot was propped on her chair and she had an arm wrapped around her leg as she held her coffee cup. The motion had caused one side of her sweater to slip off her shoulder.

=/\= So tell me… how busy are you out there in the Delta Quadrant? Think your Skipper would give you some leave in the - =/\= and he looked away at something and then looked back, =/\= -next month or so? Say a week?=/\=

Daggum

Faye didn’t hesitate to nod. =/\=We’re still sorting out some of the fallout, but yeah, I doubt he’d say no. I’ve been constantly working overtime since I got here so… they owe me. And since he’s waiting to hear how this cal went down, I think he’d be willing to sign off on some leave.=/\=

~Faye Calloway

Daggum smiled. =/\= Okay… meet me at Event Horizon Station a month from today. I have two rooms reserved at the hotel on the station for a week. I just submitted my leave, and with everything I’ve got done here, a week off is not too much to ask. So… thats how we make this work. Time together when we can, calls when we can’t… and the knowledge that we love each other. Right now, that’s what we have. And it’s more than we had five minutes ago. So we are already moving forward, right? =/\=

Daggum

It was so surreal. But all she could offer him was a wide smile. =/\=I think we’ve got ourselves a plan, then.=/\= A month in which to work through some of other things. Admitting that truth to Dag had been one thing, but she still had to do some work to heal some of the wounds from that time in her life. As much as his acceptance helped a great deal, it was just a step. But it was a step.

Her expression became pensive but it wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. Hell, since her brain was always going, it was her default expression. =/\=And we have a month to talk before then. I think… I think there are some things we need to talk about and work through. When I said I’ve never been in a healthy relationship, I was serious. And after everything that’s happened recently, my BPD symptoms are definitely acting up. I’m having to fight a lot of my impulses right now, and that can be its own tiring thing. Dag, I’ve never shared the whole story about Kodell with anyone before yesterday. My casual mention of having been a slave, or having worked as a servant before is about as far as I went. And this is but one of more than a few really hard things I’ve experienced. I’m not saying this as a deterrent but more as a reminder that you need to hear those stories too. Because being in a relationship with someone who has my… challenges, is not like it is with others. And it would be easy to brush that fact away ad pretend otherwise. If we’re really going to try this, we do so with full disclosure.=/\=

~Faye Calloway, Data Specialist, USS Manhattan


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