STF

Nazeen's Quarters- Cryptic Messages

Posted May 2, 2021, 1:29 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Nazeen’s Quarters- Cryptic Messages

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Nazeen’s Quarters- Cryptic Messages

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Nazeen’s Quarters- Cryptic Messages
Posted by… suppressed (7) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Okay, she was on now. though Nazeen couldn’t see it, Janna smiled softly as she moved over to the dining room and grabbed a chair. “Well, lucky for you my job is to help you find that starting place and even better it’s sometimes easier to start talking than you think it will be,” she said as she carried the chair over to the sofa, placed it in front with some space and sat down. “Come have a seat. Get comfy. We’ll figure this out together, alright?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

For several more moments Viyara remained at the window, focusing on her breathing as she tried to keep her emotions under control. When she finally turned around, her expression was even and calm. At least on the surface. “Alright,” she replied softly as she sat down on her couch and with her feet placed on the seat, wrapped her arms around her legs as she hugged them to her chest. She hated that yet another person saw her like this and at the same time she had to admit to herself that she needed help and that keeping her defences up was costing her more energy than she seemed to have. And that terrified her.

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Watching all the telltale signs of Viyara’s body language, Janna did something perhaps unexpected: she unzipped her uniform jacket, slipped it over the back of the chair and then took off her boots, setting them to the side. Crossing her legs on the chair, Kingston kept her gaze constant but relaxed. “Okay, before we do anything else, you need to know that I have no goal other than to see you be and feel at your best. There are days when you simply won’t. And that’s okay, Viyara. But when someone is miserable like I can tell you most definitely are, that’s the point where sometimes you need a little help figuring out how to feel even a tiny bit better.”

“I used to be fine till I came here,” Viyara muttered a little defensively, even though or perhaps because she knew deep down that that wasn’t really true. She had been very good at keeping everyone at bay and her emotions mostly shoved as deep down as possible.

Janna took in her response before she continued. “And the other thing is that a lot of people believe therapists are just trying to trick you. And they’re not wrong. I’m a tricky therapist, Viyara. But what that really is is us having tools we can use to help you dig a little deeper to get that the root of an issue. It’s not a instant thing and sometimes it’s not even a one session thing. We do this at your pace and I will follow your lead. All I ask is that if I have to reach into my bag of tricks that you trust me just enough to know that I’m not trying to cause you harm. Okay?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara nodded, but didn’t say anything. What was there to say after all? Instead she tried to let herself trust Janna. To allow herself to believe that she was saying the truth. Something that she had never been able to do. Not fully at least. Maybe a little here and there. But mostly not even that. And while part of her still didn’t want to accept it, she knew that Daggum had been right when he had said that she needed to open up, learn to trust and be honest with those around her. She had been with him and she was still wondering if maybe she had been a little to open and honest. Though deep down she knew that it was good that she had been. And maybe, just maybe she could be with Janna as well…

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

“Okay,” Kingston said softly, leaning forward and bracing an arm on her thigh. “You said that someone suggested that you talk about stuff with someone. Can you tell me what led to them making that suggestion?” She knew two things for sure right now: One, she needed to tread carefully, and two, Nazeen preferred a cards on the table approach. At least from what she gathered so far. It would be a delicate balance to pull off, but luckily for them both this wasn’t her first day on the job.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara nodded again, but remained silent a little while longer as she pondered how to answer Janna’s question. Finally she said, “It’s a long story. In short the two of ran into each other for the second time while the Athena was still docked at the Starbase. We ended up having lunch at a restaurant there and then spend a day and a night in a spa. We clicked and I felt like he understands me and like I can trust him. And just the other day I asked him for help and we had dinner together and another long talk. I opened up a little to him. At one point I also yelled at him. And more than once he held me in his arms while I cried.” At that her expression turned into a mix of embarrassment and fear and she quickly bowed her head so that her forehead was touching her knees. “That day in the spa he already said that he wants me to be happy and that he thinks I should try and be open and honest with the people around me. And when we were here the other day, he said that he’ll always be there for me and listen, but that he thinks I should talk to someone else as well.” Her voice had been even and measured the whole time, but towards the end Viyara had begun to tremble ever so slightly.

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Details, but without as much context as could be important here. Janna leaned more forward, bracing her arms across her crossed knees. “What was it that made you feel like you could share things with him?” Understanding her connection to this person was important since it seemed he prompted this unexpected turn for Nazeen.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Looking up again, Viyara shook her head. “I’m not sure. I … He makes me feel safe and like he really understands me. Maybe … our lives have been different, but …” She swallowed hard and took a deep, if shaky breath. Saying those next words was difficult … painful and she was already feeling slightly nauseous again just thinking about saying them. Turning her head to the side so that she wouldn’t have to look at Janna, she continued, “we both know what … what abuse feels like.” The last four words came in a rush and as she said them, Viyara closed her eyes and her whole body tensed up.

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Janna dropped her gaze ever so slightly so that she could appear even just a little less confronting. “Connection is an important thing. It helps us feel seen,” she said softly. “And I can tell that that was a lot for you to tell you, so I’m proud of you for venturing there with someone you don’t really know. It makes you very courageous, Viyara.”

At the word courageous, Viyara turned her head again and looked once more straight at Janna. “Really?” she asked softly and uncertainly. She had never thought of telling her story as an act of courage and found it hard to believe that it was.

Kingston met her gaze and smiled softly. “Yes, really.”

“Was this… friend of yours the first person you’ve spoken to about this… topic?” Janna asked.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara nodded ever so slightly. “There was one other person, but with them I only hinted at a few things. He is the first one I told. Not in any details, but more than I’ve ever told anyone before,” she replied softly. There was a quiver in her voice and she had began to shiver a little as she was suddenly feeling cold.

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Janna nodded slowly. “And how did you feel after sharing that story with your friend?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS


Posts on USS Athena

In topic

Posted since


© 1991-2021 STF. Terms of Service

Version 1.12.5