Posted May 4, 2021, 4:14 p.m. by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) (Silke Fahl)
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Holodeck- Cryptic Messages
Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Holodeck- Cryptic Messages
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Holodeck- Cryptic Messages
Posted by… suppressed (5) by the Post Ghost! 👻(snip)
Feeling a shiver run down her spine and goosebumps rise on her skin, Viyara nodded her head a tiny bit. “Okay,” she said, her voice barely audible.
As she took several deep breaths, her gaze was fixed on her forearms as she traced first the tattoo on her left arm and then on her right. It took her awhile, but eventually she started talking. “I told him that I ran away from home when I was sixteen. I haven’t had a happy childhood or a … a safe home. Some days were … were horrible. Others were not so bad.” Her voice faltered slightly and without noticing what she was doing, Viyara moved her hands and dug her nails deeply into her forearms as she continued talking. “Sometimes he’d just yell at me, call me names, or slap me. Sometimes he’d beat me up. And sometimes he touch me and … you know.” Viyara gave a small shrug. Her gaze had suddenly become distant and unfocused, at the same moment when her voice had started to sound rather detached.
OOC: Left forearm: https://tattoodo-mobile-app.imgix.net/images/posts/nodes_lqgfaebMcB.jpg?auto=format%2Ccompress & right forearm: https://thebodyisacanvas.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/Arm-Tattoo-27.jpg
~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist
Rule number one when a patient had experienced any sort of abuse was to avoid touch without permission. Even if she could see that Viyara was unaware that she was hurting herself. “Computer, generate two tension balls.”
In front of Kingston were two small balls just big enough to fit in the palm of a hand. She picked them, up and felt the weight of them as they made her hands have to work ever so slightly to hold them in her palms. One in each hand, she squeezed hard and they squished out the sides of her closed hands. Then she opened her hands and offered them to Viyara. “Here, instead of causing yourself pain, squeeze these. If at anytime you feel overwhelmed during our conversation, just squeeze on them. as hard as you like.”
~Janna Kingston, CNS
Blinking a few times, Viyara looked first at Janna, then the tension balls and then her own hands. Slowly and with some effort, she unclenched her hands and then reached for the two balls instead. Her nails hadn’t broken her skin, but the red crescents left behind were clearly visible. Weighing the two balls in her hands, she took a deep breath and then gave them a tentative squeeze. She understood why Janna wanted her to squeeze those instead of hurting herself and so she was willing to give it a try. Her face still rather expressionless, she said, “Thank you Counsellor.”
~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist
Tilting her head slightly, Janna sought Viyara’s gaze. “Hey, we all need coping mechnisms to get us get through. The thing we’re going to work on is making sure the ones you use help you live the best life you can. And where we need to, we’ll add some or modify ones you use.”
Viyara returned Janna’s gaze and nodded. “Okay. That sounds … sensible,” she replied.
“Viyara,” Janna said gently. “I know it’s a lot but you’ve taken such a huge step. With your friend, with me. And again, you’re being very courageous.”
~Janna Kingston, CNS
Looking rather sceptical, Viyara shook her head. “I don’t feel courageous,” she countered as she dropped her gaze again.
~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist
The response didn’t surprise her. Janna adopted a similar position to the one she had had in Nazeen’s quarters, with her arms loosely braced on her crossed legs, bent forward slightly at the hips. “Tell me more,” she said gently.
~Janna Kingston, CNS
Frowning, Viyara lifted her gaze towards Janna again. “I -” she started, then shook her head and tried again. “Can you specify?” she asked. She knew of course what Janna meant, or at least felt fairly certain that she did. But she felt like she needed more concrete and specific questions to be able to tell her more.
~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist
“I can,” Janna said. Her words created a reaction. “But I can’t give you the words. You named the emotion, even if you meant the opposite one. Talk about it. Talk around it. Talk nonsense if that help. Courageous. Not Courageous. Tell me more…”
~Janna Kingston, CNS
An exasperated sigh escaped Viyara’s lips. And yet she also found that she was … relieved that Janna hadn’t meant what she thought she had with the sentence ‘tell me more’. Chewing on her lower lip for a moment, she contemplated how to reply.
“When do something that takes courage … it makes me feel good … alive,“ Viyara began as she attempted to explain herself. “That’s not how I feel right now. Telling you what little I did about my past … it doesn’t make me feel good or alive. I feel like … I don’t know … as if someone gripped my heart and is now clenching their fist.“ Looking Janna straight in the eyes she added defiantly, “I don’t like it.“
~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist
© 1991-2024 STF. Terms of Service
Version 1.15.11
RSS Feed
