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Counsellor's Office - Thus things continue to unfold

Posted May 12, 2021, 3:40 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Counsellor’s Office - Thus things continue to unfold

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Counsellor’s Office - Thus things continue to unfold

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Counsellor’s Office - Thus things continue to unfold
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Kingston smiled warmly. “One of the things we’re going to practice together is embracing that discomfort. It might be easier for thing to be cut and dry, but that doesn’t make them better. Sometimes, the better path forward really is the one that less comfortable. So when you find yourself trying to force a situation to be either or, I want you to pause, take a deep breath and let it be messy. Let it be complicated. It’s a process, Viyara. And uncomfortable one, yes, but I guarantee it won’t be detrimental to you.”

Viyara nodded and then moved her shoulders a little as she tried to ease the tension she felt building in her body.

Janna gestured to the journal. “What about moments either consciously or unconsciously where you caused yourself harm, in any way? How many times and exactly how did it happen? And be honest. I can’t help you if you hide things from me.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Looking down at the journal in her lap, Viyara asked, “Since we last talked or in general?”

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

Janna shrugged. “How about both?” She would take any and all information Nazeen was willing to share, so if she could get that much, absolutely she’d accept it.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara nodded and then took another deep breath. Without meeting Janna’s gaze, she said, “I don’t think I did since yesterday. I mean, I probably chewed on my lower lip while journalling or while I was on duty. But I wouldn’t consider that self-harm.” Her voice was soft and at first hesitant, but with each word she said, she seemed to be less hesitant till it was almost like a switch was flicked in her brain and she shared much more than she ever had with anyone before. “As you know I sometimes dig my nails into my skin. After I left the Captain and the Counsellor on the holodeck that day I did so as well. As almost always it was subconscious and I didn’t even notice at first that I broke my skin with my nails. I sometimes bite myself in the fingers. never hard enough to be in any danger of drawing blood, but enough to leave a mark. I sometimes cut myself. And, I wouldn’t classify it as self-harm, but until recently I almost always kept the holodeck safeties off. I can be reckless. I sometimes drink to much and I like it when things get really rough when I’m with someone. All of that either makes me feel alive or draws my focus to something I can control.”

~Ensign Nazeen, Scientist

In therapy there was a tension between pushing forward bit by bit and holding back so as to not overwhelm a patient. The simple fact was that with Viyara she was so damn proud, and she would express that… soon. Not just yet. It was important that they sit in the discomfort of this topic for at least a little while. Not too long, but just enough that the scientist can feel in her body that it wouldn’t harm her, that those feelings could be useful. She scrawled some notes on her PADD for a few moments.

“You said you kept the safeties off until recently. What changed?” Janna asked.

~Janna Kingston, CNS


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