Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Daggum looked at her and set his hand on hers, “But what? A sometimes the simplest things are the hardest to start. BUt once you do… it’s like a giant boulder rolling downhill. Takes a lot of effort to get it going, but once it’s rolling… it’s on it’s way.”

Daggum

“I feel like nothing is in my control. Not really. Even the examples Janna gave. I felt completely overwhelmed and burst into tears,” Viyara mumbled and gently extracted her hands and the notebook from underneath his hand. Only to slip her right hand in his and flipping the book open with her left. As she leaved quickly through the the pages, Daggum would be bale catch glimpses of page after page filled with hand written text, drawings and seemingly random doodling. He might even notice that the handwriting changed and the drawing got better and more detailed as she got closer to the page she was looking for. Almost as if she had used this journal for a very long time. A little over halfway through the thick journal, Viyara reached the pages she had been writing those two lists on. After a short moment of hesitation she pushed the ever so slightly closer to Daggum. On the left side he’d see a list titled “Self Care”. It wasn’t very long, but had things like “taking a bath”, “going for a run”, “grounding exercise” and even “Tai Chi” on it. Always followed by what she’d need to be able to do each item on the list. The page on the right was almost empty. Only two things were written down there (“What I eat/drink”, “What I do in my spare time”) and compared to the neat font on the other page the letters were rather messy and a few tears had made the page wrinkly in places.

~Viyara Nazeen

Daggum smiled at the ‘Tai Chi’ and then looked at the other page. “Sooo… The other page. Thats where you’re getting stuck, huh? Ok, let’s start there.” and he scooted his chair closer to her and then said “What about what you wear? You control that, right? How you wear your hair? Small things matter, V.”

Daggum

Pulling her right foot up on the seat of her chair, Viyara nodded slightly and then rested her chin on her knee. “Normally I can control those things,” she replied softly as she reached for the pen with her left hand. “But here … my computer access is very limited right now and I’m not entirely sure what I really can and can’t control when it comes to those things,” she continued. And yet she still wrote them down in her neat, small font.

~Viyara Nazeen

The door creaked open and Janna stepped back out onto the patio, her notebook, a zippered case and a PADD tucked under her arm. Taking a seat she too in the pair. “So, where are we at? What have we brainstormed so far?” she said, grabbing her electronic stylus and the blank PADD, ready to take notes.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Turning her head just enough so she could see Janna, Viyara replied, “Daggum suggested ‘What I wear’ and ‘What I do with my hair’. So I wrote those two down.” Shifting her gaze back towards her notebook. she adjusted it’s position so that she’d still be able to write easily, but all three of them would be able to read the list. A soft sigh escaped her lips as she looked down at those four bullet points that felt rather meaningless to her right now.

~Viyara Nazeen

“V…” Daggum said and reached out and took her hand. “It’s ok. This isn’t something you get perfect from jump, you know? When you spend a lot of your time not feeling in control, it’s hard to recognize when you do have it. But even little steps matter. So… try and think of something small.” He looked at Janna to see if that was a good route to take.

Daggum

Janna caught his glance and nodded. “The point isn’t to evaluate the worth of each item. It either is something we have control over, or we don’t.” She lifted her PADD and wiggled it. “And I figured you might do well with seeing this process in action, so I’m going to write my own list while we work on yours.” She looked at Daggum again. “I shared earlier with Viyara the story of how I was attacked on an away mission as a cadet and ended up with hemophilia. And while it’s no longer life threatening, I had to rebuild the concept of what my life was and could be in my new state,” she said easily.

Grabbing her electronic stylus she wrote on her PADD. “On the days that are harder and I struggle with the direction my life is moving in I actually do this exercise for myself. So right now, today, I get to control what time I wake up. Sure, I have to be on duty at a certain time of day but I get to decide how close to that time I wake up or how early.” Janna looked to Viyara. “Your turn.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Viyara was silent for a moment as she stared down at her notebook. Eventually, her voice barely louder than a whisper, she said, “I guess I control when I go to bed.” After glancing briefly at Janna, she wrote that down. A smile crease had appeared between her eyebrows and she slightly pressed her lips together as she tried to not feel so frustrated with herself. For struggling with this task that should be a simple one. She knew that no one but herself expected her to get any of this right from the get go or for any of this to come ease for her. That both Daggum and Janna would tell her that it’s okay to struggle. She just found it hard to give herself that grace.

~Viyara Nazeen

“You control where you sit, and who you look at.” Daggum put a hand on her shoulder. “You’re doing fine, V. Really. You’ll get iT.” he said supportively.

Daggum

“Remember, there’s no right answer. just the ones that are right for you. I mean, what am I going to say, ‘Viyara that’s a terrible answer, try again?” Janna said with a slightly impish grin.

Writing on her PADD again, Janna continued her own list. “I get to control how I wear my hair as long as it’s safe and meets regulations.” She looked upwards for a moment. “I always wondered what I’d look like with red hair.” She shrugged.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“Me too!” Daggum said in a mock-surprised voice. He looked at Viyara and smiled and gave her a wink.

Daggum