Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Kingston’s Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Orvos Legen (Chief Engineer) in Kingston’s Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Kingston’s Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms

(snip)

It all had blurred together in her mind but as Janna took a deep breath, the stages of the whole event began to unfold. “Well, we were on the station and going to check our holonovels when Stark showed up and joined us, just like you remember, but a man showed up, killing people with a bow and arrows, claiming he wanted his wife back, and when you claimed you didn’t have her, he said that the woman standing next to you was her… me. But he realized his mistake and chaos ensued and Kivon showed up. Long story short, you and he had a rather heated exchange where he declared that he was going to make you pay, but forcing you to watch your girlfriend be assimilated by the Borg,” she said, arching her brows.

Orvos, too, raised his eyebrows curiously.

“And the next thing I knew I was in this white room, trapped with no way out. And then I heard a growl. I spun around and there was this white panther. I was so terrified it would attack me but then it seemed to change its demeanour and began to help me get out. We did, but then I found myself on a Borg ship and I was so scared,” she all but whispered, her vibrant green eyes gazing deeply at Orvos. Eventually we made our way through and met up with you and Stark. But then Kivon showed up again, claiming that you left others behind because you wanted to stay in there, in the Nexus, and then… you sent Stark and I away.

In a flash, memories streamed through his mind of the very first time he had entered the Nexus. He looked uncomfortable as he tried suppressing the memories once more while listening to Janna.

“We found ourselves in another place and a woman showed up by the name of Guinan. It was all so confusing and then we found you again. But you were injured by Kivon and..” Janna flushed slightly at the memory of that intimate moment where she gently assessed the wounds on his bare chest with her fingers, tears running down her face. “Kivon accused you of causing everyone on your homeworld to die and all of a sudden a wall arose between Stark and I and you. You had been determined to stay to save us, but we wouldn’t let you, Orvos! And you were annoyingly stubborn. But when that wall went up, it was like something shifted inside me and I ran at that wall as if nothing could harm me, Stark right on my heels.” Of course, with her condition, harm would have been exceptionally dangerous. “Long story short we found ourselves in yet another space but with a different Orvos, one from the Nexus. He is the one who gave me the orb and told me how to trap Kivon in it. The second I touched it I knew it was more than powerful, it was transformative. With the orb with me, we returned back to the station before Kivon showed up and found you, with only mine and Stark’s history having changed. And the rest you know, except do you remember the first things I said to you on the station before we sought out Kivon for that final showdown? I asked you to trust me, but hilarious irony is that the Orvos I lost to the Nexus refused to me. He was so caught up in being the protector, on going solo, he pushed Stark and me away. And I am still so angry at that Orvos.”

Janna sighed. “Now do you understand why I’m so conflicted about you? there was all this weird tension between us I couldn’t makes sense of and I still can’t, but now I know I’ve put a space between us and I’m not sure if it’s for the best or to our detriment.” She hadn’t strictly avoided him, but nor had she sought him out.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

There was perhaps no getting around it at. Orvos knew that what he had apparently done once before was not enough to keep the knowledge of his past a secret. But all in time and in steps.

“Well then,” he said slowly as looked into Janna’s eyes. “Let’s clear the atmosphere then. Your angry at the Orvos in that alternate timeline. What specifically upsets you? The fact he gave his life to save you? Or was it that he denied the possibility of getting through it all together?”

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE

Janna shook her head slightly. “But he didn’t give his life for us. That was the assumption he made. He thought going after Kivon alone was the solution but he didn’t give us a say in any of it. I’m angry because he was selfish. All I wanted to do was go home and…” Her jaw gritted and she shook her head. It was always easier to deal with someone else’s feelings, and while her own didn’t scare her, they were all so jumbled that everything felt confusing. “He abandoned us. Yes, he denied the possibility of himself getting home, but he had no idea if Stark and I would make it ourselves. And in the ned I was the one who wielded the orb and it did… whatever it did. the moment I touched it I knew it was something extra ordinary.” She brought her hands to her head, sinking her fingers into thick blond curls. “I’m angry because he didn’t trust me, nor Stark and I thought…” Janna looked away form Orvos. “I think I thought we were closer than that,” she whispered.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

And there it was…the pain that Orvos was so very capable of inflicting upon people without fully seeing it before it happened. He had been selfish when he first encountered the Nexus. It was true that he wanted to stay in it, to wrap himself up and never leave. He was dragged out in a way. And apparently here he was again, having jumped into the Nexus only to send Stark and Janna away. Had it really been to save them? Or had he found his final opportunity to stay in it? Whatever that Orvos had decided, it wasn’t the here and now.

After having left the Nexus the first time, he had fought hard to keep his distance from developing relationships with others. The problem was, it couldn’t change the fact that he was El Aurian…a lorekeeper of the galaxy. Relationship was how the stories of the universe made themselves known to him. It was also relationship that brought him out of the Nexus the first time. Was he now, resisting relationships so that he could end up back in the Nexus once more and not be saved? Or was he trying to save them from whatever hurt he could inflict by being who he was? What line was he really following?

Orvos stood up and looked out one of the windows. He sighed aloud, and replied. “We are closer than that.” He didn’t truly know what to think or feel at this point, but continuing to run was not working. Stark had spoken of the Athena as a family. He hadn’t felt nor wanted to feel that sense of closeness. And despite it all, he was close with people now. It was his fault for letting people in. He had to right the wrongs somehow.

“Janna…you deserve to know more.” He kept his gaze fixated on the stars, almost as if he were too scared to look at her. “I’m an unfortunately complex person it seems. Been running from friendship for a good portion of my life. Would explain perhaps why that Orvos pushed you both away. I never mean to hurt people, but it seems that you can’t run away from that your whole life, can you? Can you forgive me for that? Are you willing to risk knowing more of me, cause if so, I’ll share. I’ll stop the running.”

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE