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Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1

Posted Oct. 12, 2021, 5:38 a.m. by Lieutenant Benjamin Grey (Chief Medical Officer) (Hjortur Ingi)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1

Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Daggum Hammor (Chief Operations Officer) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1
Posted by… suppressed (8) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

“Hey, Viyara,” Janna said, hoping to draw her attention again.

When Janna said her name, Viyara looked at her, but didn’t say anything. Instead she waited for her to continue talking.

“Think of all of this as a turning point. From here on, you have new information with which to make different decisions. You get to decide what wasn’t working before a diagnosis and we can find better ways of handling stressors that work best for you.” Janna swept her gaze to Daggum and Ben for a moment including them once again in the conversation. “Doctor Grey, before you arrived I told Viyara that based on her symptoms and everything she’s spoken about and I’ve witnessed, I am comfortable diagnosing her with Borderline Personality Disorder.” She focused back on Viyara. “Now, treatment usually involves a multi-pronged approach. Given that it’s a complicated disorder and manifests a wide range of symptoms, there is no one medication that will ease all symptoms. You don’t seem to have a history of depression, so I’m not worried about treating that symptom, but many patients with BPD benefit from a mood stabilizer. I’d like to work to find one that works for you, with Doctor Grey’s help, because the goal is to lower the threshold for how intense our emotions are to us and how that in turn can make us overreact to even small stressors. There is a mistake people sometimes make in thinking that people with BPD have no feelings, but the opposite is usually true. We feel things so deeply that it becomes unbearable to manage. So what we’re going to do is calm in the input a little so that we have a chance to work with your mind to develop better coping strategies.”

With her eyes locked on Janna, Viyara had grabbed the hem of her skirt and was twisting it between her fingers. Of course only part of the information was new for her and still it felt like a lot to take in and to wrap her head around.

Janna offered a small smile. “I’m not gong to lie to you Viyara. It’s hard. It will require hard work on your part, and mine, and you will need to rely on your support system as you go through this,” she said, flicking her gaze to Daggum. “We’re going to continue with your sessions and I’m going to shift my approach ever so slightly to use what’s known as Dialectical Behaviour Therapy, which has been shown over and over again to be the most successful type of therapy that can give you a sense of control over the situation rather than feeling like you mind if controlling you.” She stopped there to gauge reactions and give an opportunity to ask questions.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

For a moment Viyara closed her eyes tightly while still holding tightly onto the hem of her skirt. Then suddenly she rose to her feet and walked towards the edge of the cliff and stared down at the rocks and the waves below. Letting go of her skirt she instead wrapped both her arms around her middle with the thumb of her right hand digging into the inside of her left elbow.

Without turning around Viyara asked after a few moments, “So the medication would numb my emotions?” Her voice was strangely flat and she felt as if her mind was almost blank.

~Viyara Nazeen

Daggum spoke up and said “No, no V… not numb. But they take some of the… the… intensity of ‘em down a few notches. I used them when I first got to the Academy. Helped me get a handle on my anger management. They won’t stop you from feeling, V… but they’ll help you to not feel lie you are drowning in your feelings.” and he looked at Gray and Kingston to make sure his description was at least moderately accurate.

Daggum

Benjamin shot a scowl at the Operations officer, although first-hand experience would undoubtedly be comforting and could be helpful, he never did like someone else explaining medicine from that point before he had a chance to explain. He smoothed his face immediately, however, feeling foolish “Commander Hammor is correct, most modern mood stabilisers are designed for each case, the neurological scans I took earlier will help to decide what to do in that regard.” He looked down “It will feel odd to start with but with time and some tweaks to the drug it will help with emotional balance” He looked at Janna “Ultimately it will be up to you and the counselor how this will be dealt with”

Dr. Grey - CMO

Janna nodded. “Because we’ll be talking regularly, especially for the first while, we can easily monitor any adverse reactions and adjust dosage as needed. But it’s up to you, Viyara. We can’t force you to take anything. It’s not a requirement. I can only say that in my experience, with the many patients I’ve had, medication is a very solid place to start. It’s a beginning, not the end of the process. It’s very possible that after we’ve done some work and you’re feeling better overall that you might not need medication anymore, that the techniques and coping strategies we build will be enough.But maybe not. It’s your life, not mine, nor Ben’s, nor Daggum’s. And while it’s easy for some to say remind someone that taking medication to help manage emotions is no different than taking something for pain or illness, it has to be something you choose, or else the entire process we go through will be meaningless.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

With her back still towards them Viyara listened. She wasn’t even moving as she worked through all of that in her mind. When she finally lifted her head and gazed towards the horizon, she asked, “So I’ll still feel like me? It’s not going to change what I feel? Who I am? What I like?”

~Viyara Nazeen

Ben put on a thoughtful look, cupping his chin in his hand “That depends entirely on how the drugs will affect you, it will be a process of discovery and stabilization.” he said in a calm tone “You’ll still be you but we won’t know how you’ll feel until you start, this is a highly individualized medication.” He explained.

Dr. Grey - CMO

Viyara felt anger bubble up in her, her gaze still fixed on the horizon, and she burst out, “Why? Why do I have to have this stupid disorder? Why did any of this had to happen to me? Why haven’t I been able to stop him? Leave sooner? Do something? Why …?” Her voice quivered and then broke as she took another step forward, leaving her standing as close to the edge as was possible. She didn’t want to jump. And really, what good would it do on a holodeck with not only the safeties on but also the protocols Janna had activated? But the slight spike in adrenaline felt good. Almost soothing in it’s familiarity.

~Viyara Nazeen

By instinct, Ben leaned forward as if to jump up then forced himself to relax visibly “Difficult to say for certain. Whilst the brain is fully mapped and we understand how to deal with most things there it’s still the most complex organ in the humanoid body. The Trill brain is more complex than a Human brain in some aspects. There’s likely a genetic component, If there’s a history of the Illness in the family then you are more likely to develop it. There is also a trauma factor to be considered. In simple terms, it’s a miscommunication between different parts of your brain”

Dr. Grey - CMO

Benjamin’s words - even though rationally she knew they were well intended - felt like a slap in the face. Yet at the same time they were a confirmation of what she had felt all along as well: That she really was broken. But unlike a cut or even a broken bone there was no real way to fix this. After all, how could one fix a broken brain? Or a broken soul?

Daggum looked at the doctor and shook his head slightly. Really? Thats how you talk to someone on the edge… literally on the edge of a cliff? he thought to himself and he then looked at Viyara. “There isn’t an answer to that here, V… why the past happened like it did is a question for further down the road. Right now, here, we need to just help you figure out how best to deal with that past and how your brain processes that. And it’s doable… it just takes some work. And I know you are capable of it… you just gotta let yourself walk that path. And you don’t have to do it alone. You have a lot of people in your corner, okay? We can help… you just let us know what you need. Sometimes its hard to know that, but thats where Janna and Dr. Grey come in. They can help you figure that out.”

Daggum

With her ears ringing and her mind preoccupied with Doctor Grey’s words, Viyara barely heard what Daggum was saying and what she heard took longer than normal till she actually understood what he was saying. Her head was spinning and she felt trapped. Trapped on the holodeck. Trapped in her own body. What she wanted to do was turn around and let herself fall backwards. Not to die.But for the rush of adrenaline. To feel in control of something. Even if it was just for a brief moment. But she knew what would happen if she did that. So she fought against that urge. She turned away from the cliff instead and started running in the opposite direction of where they had come from. Not caring about what the others might think.

~Viyara Nazeen

Daggum started to go after her, but then stopped himself. He followed her with his eyes as she ran off, and then he took a deep breath and slowly exhaled. He looked at Gray for a moment and then shook his head slightly… but he stayed silent.

Daggum

Benjamin’s green eyes followed the woman as she ran away, he caught the expression of the Operations chief. His own expression was featureless and calm. After a moment of silence, he sighed “I believe I’ve said the wrong thing again” He used his right hand to rub his forehead “Janna your recommendation?” He asked calmly but still rubbing his forehead “I don’t know if my staying or leaving would be worse, the choice is yours.”

Dr. Grey - CMO


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