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Kingston's Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms

Posted Nov. 23, 2021, 2:22 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) (Lindsay Bayes)

Posted by Commander Orvos Legen (Executive Officer) in Kingston’s Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (CNS) in Kingston’s Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Orvos Legen (Chief Engineer) in Kingston’s Quarters- Answers Come in All Forms
Posted by… suppressed (7) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

It all had blurred together in her mind but as Janna took a deep breath, the stages of the whole event began to unfold. “Well, we were on the station and going to check our holonovels when Stark showed up and joined us, just like you remember, but a man showed up, killing people with a bow and arrows, claiming he wanted his wife back, and when you claimed you didn’t have her, he said that the woman standing next to you was her… me. But he realized his mistake and chaos ensued and Kivon showed up. Long story short, you and he had a rather heated exchange where he declared that he was going to make you pay, but forcing you to watch your girlfriend be assimilated by the Borg,” she said, arching her brows.

Orvos, too, raised his eyebrows curiously.

“And the next thing I knew I was in this white room, trapped with no way out. And then I heard a growl. I spun around and there was this white panther. I was so terrified it would attack me but then it seemed to change its demeanour and began to help me get out. We did, but then I found myself on a Borg ship and I was so scared,” she all but whispered, her vibrant green eyes gazing deeply at Orvos. Eventually we made our way through and met up with you and Stark. But then Kivon showed up again, claiming that you left others behind because you wanted to stay in there, in the Nexus, and then… you sent Stark and I away.

In a flash, memories streamed through his mind of the very first time he had entered the Nexus. He looked uncomfortable as he tried suppressing the memories once more while listening to Janna.

“We found ourselves in another place and a woman showed up by the name of Guinan. It was all so confusing and then we found you again. But you were injured by Kivon and..” Janna flushed slightly at the memory of that intimate moment where she gently assessed the wounds on his bare chest with her fingers, tears running down her face. “Kivon accused you of causing everyone on your homeworld to die and all of a sudden a wall arose between Stark and I and you. You had been determined to stay to save us, but we wouldn’t let you, Orvos! And you were annoyingly stubborn. But when that wall went up, it was like something shifted inside me and I ran at that wall as if nothing could harm me, Stark right on my heels.” Of course, with her condition, harm would have been exceptionally dangerous. “Long story short we found ourselves in yet another space but with a different Orvos, one from the Nexus. He is the one who gave me the orb and told me how to trap Kivon in it. The second I touched it I knew it was more than powerful, it was transformative. With the orb with me, we returned back to the station before Kivon showed up and found you, with only mine and Stark’s history having changed. And the rest you know, except do you remember the first things I said to you on the station before we sought out Kivon for that final showdown? I asked you to trust me, but hilarious irony is that the Orvos I lost to the Nexus refused to me. He was so caught up in being the protector, on going solo, he pushed Stark and me away. And I am still so angry at that Orvos.”

Janna sighed. “Now do you understand why I’m so conflicted about you? there was all this weird tension between us I couldn’t makes sense of and I still can’t, but now I know I’ve put a space between us and I’m not sure if it’s for the best or to our detriment.” She hadn’t strictly avoided him, but nor had she sought him out.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

There was perhaps no getting around it at. Orvos knew that what he had apparently done once before was not enough to keep the knowledge of his past a secret. But all in time and in steps.

“Well then,” he said slowly as looked into Janna’s eyes. “Let’s clear the atmosphere then. Your angry at the Orvos in that alternate timeline. What specifically upsets you? The fact he gave his life to save you? Or was it that he denied the possibility of getting through it all together?”

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE

Janna shook her head slightly. “But he didn’t give his life for us. That was the assumption he made. He thought going after Kivon alone was the solution but he didn’t give us a say in any of it. I’m angry because he was selfish. All I wanted to do was go home and…” Her jaw gritted and she shook her head. It was always easier to deal with someone else’s feelings, and while her own didn’t scare her, they were all so jumbled that everything felt confusing. “He abandoned us. Yes, he denied the possibility of himself getting home, but he had no idea if Stark and I would make it ourselves. And in the ned I was the one who wielded the orb and it did… whatever it did. the moment I touched it I knew it was something extra ordinary.” She brought her hands to her head, sinking her fingers into thick blond curls. “I’m angry because he didn’t trust me, nor Stark and I thought…” Janna looked away form Orvos. “I think I thought we were closer than that,” she whispered.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

And there it was…the pain that Orvos was so very capable of inflicting upon people without fully seeing it before it happened. He had been selfish when he first encountered the Nexus. It was true that he wanted to stay in it, to wrap himself up and never leave. He was dragged out in a way. And apparently here he was again, having jumped into the Nexus only to send Stark and Janna away. Had it really been to save them? Or had he found his final opportunity to stay in it? Whatever that Orvos had decided, it wasn’t the here and now.

After having left the Nexus the first time, he had fought hard to keep his distance from developing relationships with others. The problem was, it couldn’t change the fact that he was El Aurian…a lorekeeper of the galaxy. Relationship was how the stories of the universe made themselves known to him. It was also relationship that brought him out of the Nexus the first time. Was he now, resisting relationships so that he could end up back in the Nexus once more and not be saved? Or was he trying to save them from whatever hurt he could inflict by being who he was? What line was he really following?

Orvos stood up and looked out one of the windows. He sighed aloud, and replied. “We are closer than that.” He didn’t truly know what to think or feel at this point, but continuing to run was not working. Stark had spoken of the Athena as a family. He hadn’t felt nor wanted to feel that sense of closeness. And despite it all, he was close with people now. It was his fault for letting people in. He had to right the wrongs somehow.

“Janna…you deserve to know more.” He kept his gaze fixated on the stars, almost as if he were too scared to look at her. “I’m an unfortunately complex person it seems. Been running from friendship for a good portion of my life. Would explain perhaps why that Orvos pushed you both away. I never mean to hurt people, but it seems that you can’t run away from that your whole life, can you? Can you forgive me for that? Are you willing to risk knowing more of me, cause if so, I’ll share. I’ll stop the running.”

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE

She considered him for a moment before replying. “That other Orvos told me about being El Aurian. And some of the rest I could gather from context of the situation. But no, you can’t run away from your mistakes. But they moments in time, Orvos. Places we no longer exist in. I can admit that some of my anger isn’t rational, but the situation created a place where I never had a chance to work through these feelings. Yes, I can forgive you, if you can forgive me my possibly irrational anger. It’s really not directed at you. And yes,” I want to know more about you. Let me in,” she said softly, realizing as the words cam out just how true they were.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

“I’ll always forgive you Janna,” he replied as he finally turned from the window to face her. “What do you recall from what the ‘other’ Orvos told you?” He needed a place to start. A part of him wished some of the harder stuff had already been shared, but he doubted it to be the case.

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE

She frowned slightly. “To be honest? As much as I remember a lot of it is blurry due to how intense everything was. But I remember that he told me he was El Aurian, and had been a captain of a ship called the Aurora and that you had made decisions that caused other things to happen, or something like that. But in any case, some blamed you for the Borg destroying your home world.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Orvos nodded as he sighed. “All true. I’m El Aurian and I am indeed partly to blame for the destruction of my homeworld. The Aurora was a ship that I designed and capatained hundreds of years ago. On our last mission, we were exploring an area of space we had found some borg activity in. There was interest there and we didn’t understand why. During our exploration, we discovered the energy ribbon known as the Nexus. Long story short, the crew of the Aurora would not leave me in the Nexus, which left our homeworld with one of it’s most advanced ships unable to protect it.” He paused as made the confession, almost unable to even say the words. “If it hadn’t been me, it is highly likely that the El Aurian homeworld may not have been overrun by the borg. So, I can understand why there would be some upset with me about that.”

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE

They could deal with the Borg situation, or rather, she could help him unpack that guilt, but that was something that had happened a lon =g time ago and Kivon’s abduction of them was more recent and possibly more pressing? She wasn’t sure. Still. it was worth trying to work out how things had ended.

“The Nexus…” Janna said softly. “Being in it was hard to explain but I didn’t react the way I think many others do. I wonder if my background in psychology means I see through the allure more easily? I got angry because I wanted to home, Orvos. But the thing is, that for me home is relative. It could be Alpha Eridani Two, or it could be the Athena. Maybe I hadn’t been here longer, because even with my large cat friend proving to want to guide me, I didn’t feel like I was being led into my own deepest desires…” Heat rose in her cheeks as she realized that maybe that wasn’t strictly true, but nor had the Nexus gone out of its way to make her desires appear before her. Mostly. “Is that because of Kivon and whatever he was doing? And what about the orb I wielded. I don’t quite understand what all happened,” she said holding her hand out before her, palm open and facing up. “The orb was… strange.”

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Orvos sighed as he moved back to where Janna was and sat down on the couch. He took a deep breath as he attempted to explain the Nexus to her. “The Nexus is a place that exists outside of time itself. Anything can happen there. Any time, any where. One mind can inhabit a plethora of areas in there. Generally, the Nexus isn’t necessarily a living entity. It simply is. We as people navigate it based on our own desires and perceptions. When first entering it, it’s as though you have no control over what happens. You’re just there. As you learn to navigate it, you adapt to the new environment and can change it almost into whatever you desire. But that all changes when you encounter another person within it. Typically the one who knows how to move in the Nexus is the one who can dictate what happens to others around them. If you and Kivon were in the Nexus, I suspect it is highly likely that whatever happened to you was more of Kivon’s doing than yours. You may have played a role in it, but ultimately he may have been better suited to that environment.” He paused, asking, “Does that all make sense? I’m fine with questions if you have any. But whatever answers I give must remain between us alone.”

-Lt. Commander Orvos Legen, CE

She nodded slowly. “I understand the Nexus,” Janna said, her hand still held out, palm up. It began to shake and for reasons she didn’t understand, she began to cry. It washed over her so quickly that she was taken aback. “I don’t… I don’t understand the orb. Why me? Why did I have to wield it. It made no sense but Guinan was so insistent about it.” Moisture crept over her cheeks, carving lines down to her jaw.

~Janna Kingston, CNS


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