Posted Dec. 8, 2021, 10:40 a.m. by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) (Silke Fahl)
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1
Posted by Ensign Viyara Nazeen (Scientist) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Holodeck 2- Therapy in Unusual Places Day 2, Part 1
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻(snip)
“Okay,” Viyara replied, her voice barely audible even to herself. She then was silent again for couple of moments as she thought about Janna’s question. “Not everything, I think,” she replied quietly. “But … almost everything. Especially … especially my emotions. And I … I feel like I … barely manage to control my reactions … my behaviour … everything feels so … visceral and … overwhelming.” As she spoke, one of her nails was digging more and more into her lower leg without her even noticing what she was doing.
~Viyara
Daggum didn’t say a word. He simply set his coffee down, walked to Viyara, slid his fingers under her hand and lifted her hand away from her leg and set it on the arm of the the chair next to her. He patted it once and then went back to his coffee.
Daggum
Viyara’s eyes flickered briefly up towards Daggum, but that was the only reaction she showed. She was aware of what he was doing and why. She was even glad he had moved her hand. At the same time she felt like she wasn’t fully present in this moment or in her own body.
Janna watched Daggum and said nothing until he was done. “This isn’t something we fix. It’ll be a series of steps we take together and as you do the work, and have the support you need in various areas, the rest will come. And it will get better Viyara. I know that because you’ve told me you have something you want to work towards. And the nice thing about tangible goals is that there are smaller steps along that way that can mark you progress towards it. However, I want you to understand that BPD isn’t a Point A to Point B diagnosis. It’s not always going to be straightforward. You’re going to have bad days and sometimes it’ll feel like you’re regressing. But that’s okay.”
Viyara willed herself to listen and to fully take in everything Janna was saying. “Okay,” she nodded slightly, hoping that Janna was right.
She smiled deeply at the young woman who had shown so much bravery through this whole thing. “You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for and I am so very proud of the steps you’ve taken. And that’s why I think it’s the right time for this. Computer…” She waited for the chirp. “Release the Assessment Hold on Ensign Viyara Nazeen under Code Two-Eighty-Three, Authorization Kingston-Gamma-Six-Two Sigma-Eight-Purple.” She paused till she got confirmation. Nothing about their surroundings had changed, but all the restrictions had been lifted. “You’re free to leave whenever you like. You are still off duty and you will need to report to Dr. Grey for your medication today. But it’s been a long couple of days. Do the journalling exercise and get some sleep,” Kingston said, rising to her feet with her notebook in hand.
~Janna Kingston, CNS
Viyara felt every muscles in her body tense and she even stopped breathing for a moment as Janna lifted the protocols and rose to her feet. She knew she should be happy to be able to leave and do pretty much whatever she liked. But instead she felt terrified. And like Janna was abandoning her. None of that made sense to her. The whole time she had felt like she had no control because of the restrictions and more than once she had run away or pushed Janna away. So why wasn’t she happy that Janna trusted that she’d be okay? “I will,” Viyara said softly, looking up at Janna but not really meeting her gaze.
~Viyara
“I’ll see you tomorrow at fourteen-hundred hours for our next appointment. Bring your journal with you and we can go over the exercise.” She inhaled deeply and exhaled quietly. “And before you get too far into your head, perhaps ponder the reasons why I think you don’t need the hold anymore and why we’re going to move forward now, instead of later. Oh, and don’t forget your tension balls. Keep one handy at all times. Replicate a few of them if you need to.”
Her gaze flicked to Daggum and she winked at the Orion before she made her way out of the living room and headed for the cottage’s front door. She wouldn’t break the illusion of the house here. Let Viyara keep it as a respite as long as she needed it.
A click of the door was the only signal that Janna had left the building.
~Janna Kingston, CNS
For what felt like an eternity to her, Viyara remained silent; frozen in place. Till she finally turned her head and looked at Daggum. Her expression was blank, but her heterochromatic eyes seemed to brim over with emotions. “I didn’t see that coming,” she whispered, her voice trembling. She tried to follow Janna’s advice, but it was difficult for her to not get lost in her own mind, in her self-doubt and negative self-talk.
~Viyara
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