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Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval

Posted Aug. 10, 2022, 10:32 a.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Lieutenant Shock (Chief of Security) in Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Janna Kingston (Counsellor) in Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval

Posted by Lieutenant Shock (Chief of Security) in Meeting the Counsellor for Boarding Psych Eval
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Janna smiled lightly. “Then it seems to be the best outcome for you both, even if your families do not understand fully. Does it bother you that you could not make it work?” She didn’t intend to remain on the topic very long but it was interesting to see how he viewed the situation after some distance.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

It was a welcome distraction for Shock that Dr Kingston now asked a relevant question, rather than Shock having to analyse their emotional interaction millisecond for millisecond. So, Shock found a reason to turn to his inner self, and actually think her question. It was not a question a Vulcan would have asked, and having not discussed this event with people outside his family (or his former betrothed) ever before, he had had little reason to reflect too much on it, he thought.

Yet, in the presence of Janna, it made sense, it was logical. Moreover, it felt safe and secure for him to explore it here. He paused for a few short seconds before giving his reply.

“Not for her and me, no, but the disappointment – however illogical – within my family and extended family was palpable, and, at that time, I regretted that I had caused them such dishonour by rejecting their match. It was as if she and I had turned our backs on their logic, while following our own. It was then that I learnt that someone’s logic was someone else’s illogic,” he said, content with his inner revelation being articulated as truthfully as he could experience it.

– Lieutenant Shock (Security Chief)

Janna smiled and nodded. “An important distinction and a useful one in your line of work too. What seems normal and fine for one person can be vastly different for someone else. If you stop and look at how events have flowed from there, do you think it’s shaped how you approach various situations in your life now?” Another seemingly simple question, but one that could take them in a myriad of directions. But that was how Janna operated. Things could be simple and straightforward or not, but she always let her patients guide the way. But would she push where needed? Absolutely. Doctor Kingston understood the difference between tackling hard things and forcing someone to confront truths and causing harm. The latter she would always try to avoid.

~Janna Kingston, CNS

Kingston’s invitation to explore the question – in how the events relating to Shock’s betrothal might have shaped things later on in his life – caused Shock to pause for a moment.

“I believe so,” he said softly, before indicating a need for a second pause. He was thinking. He went over various events in his life: When going to university to read Earth studies rather than Vulcan topics, engineering or science (as had been expected). His decision to join Starfleet and thereby leave his homeplanet for the service of the Federation. But he also thought of his own acceptance of his own non-heterosexuality. And when he thought of that latter example, he noticed a warming sensation in his gutt, and a lightness in his breath. He remembered his last pon farr, when in the craze of it all, he had felt a lust for an Andorian colleague, a crewman Tkar, – an aesthetically not unpleasing, strong-minded, highly emotional, yet wise comrade – who, surprisingly, accepted his moves and reciprocated the desire. Shock relived the fleeting moment of liberation and freedom, the lack of restraint of emotion and urge, and the sense of solidarity with one another in the moment.

Just a few minutes after, Shock’s hormonal and neurotransmitter levels had returned to levels that could cause Shock to restrain his emotions to a certain degree. He had told Tkar to leave (they had been in Shock’s quarters), and he remembered seeing the disappointment and sadness over Tkar’s face. He remembered also that he had expected anger, not disappointment and sadness, and he remembered how that turned his gut. Only later would he understand the significance of that gut-turning feeling: it was guilt, and that emotion came over him in this moment, too. He had let his friend down. The same gut-wrenching sensation came over him. It felt logical to feel it, so he decided not purge it. He wanted to feel the guilt. He needed it. It had to be logical in this situation. It had to be. It must be illogical to purge it. Yet his face looked as serene as always, not a grimace in sight.

“My choice of major in university – Earth studies – is one such example. Joining Star Fleet another. And in my private life, it has been the case, too.

– Lt Shock (COS)

Janna was quiet for a moment as she digested not just his words but also the sensations that had reverberated through her body. It was more than a sympathetic understanding. Janna was all too aware that this was her… new awareness at play. And it was, like anything else in her therapist’s arsenal, a tool. But it was also a tool she had to wield very carefully lest she erode the carefully trust they had already established.

“Tell me about joining Starfleet and being here on the Athena now. Does it feel like a natural extension of your experiences?”

~Janna Kingston, CNS


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