Posted by Lieutenant Ian Bordeaux (Chief Diplomatic Officer) in USS Aquarius And Baby makes three

Posted by Lieutenant Alexandra Garfield (Xenobiologist) in USS Aquarius And Baby makes three

Posted by Lieutenant Christopher Robins (Stellar Cartographer) in USS Aquarius And Baby makes three
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Alexandra Garfield sat in the mess hall and stared out the large window to her right. Her tray was filled with a hodgepodge of items that seemed to have been selected haphazardly. None of it was touched including her cup of coffee as she stared into the vast expanse of space. She had found a peace and beauty in the stars mainly because of Chris. Now it just amplified her loneliness.

Her mind was numb and her thoughts muddled which rendered her ability to make a rational choice non-existant. The beginnings of a headache pulsed at the base of her skull. This was not the typical spot for a stress headache to form but without some sort of aspirin or acetaminophen it would erupt into an event more bothersome later. Her eyes scanned the inky blackness searching for a single point: Polaris or more commonly known as the North Star.

Chris has shown her where it was in the night sky a million times yet it was like she had never found it before. Absently her hand crept to her neck as she began to fiddle with her necklace.

The normal dull white noise of the crowded mess hall helped her drown out the buzzing that rang in her ears. She felt dizzy wondering if she would be able to make it back to her quarters without collapsing to the deck plates. Alexandra should have been bouncing off the walls with pure happiness as she mulled over the sickbay results with someone on the other side of the table fretting about every prolonged silence or ache. Instead, she was alone. This was becoming a pattern when Chris popped up in her life. He professed undying love yet the first sign things were not going his way, Robins took off without a hi, bye, or kiss my ass.
Taking a long sp of her coffee Lexi thought back to the last day of the science conference. That was the last day she truly remembered being happy. Everything was right about that day. The sun shone down warm on her exposed arms and bare legs. The smile she wore was one of contented happiness. After all these years, everything had snapped into place. Her Nana always said things turned out how they were supposed to given enough time. Turned out the time was six years. Instead of a dark night with drizzle and the sound of her tears, she was standing for the world to see with the sound of the ocean rolling in wave after wave of different choices and there were a lot of choices to be made. Chris and Lexi could have ended that moment like a fairytale yet as always, it fell apart before it ever got going. Who would have ever thought one day six weeks ago could change your life forever.

There were a few options that wouldn’t require her to drastically alter the course of her life. All but one went against the core of her moral center. Lexi needed a sign from the one person who could help her yet the message carefully typed out on the PaDD next to her wasn’t sent. How could she send it? Chris had made it abundantly clear he wanted nothing more to do with her. Lexi called several times over the past six weeks and not once has he followed up with the promised calls back. This meant she would have to just like when she had to fight to get him to call her after the North Star Cafe. Still, this was not a call she could not make.

Getting up from the table she could not procrastinate any longer. She was actually on a time crunch. Once in her quarters, Lexi decided to call Chris back again. If he didn’t answer it was on him. If he did, Alexandra Garfield had no idea what she would say.

Lt. Alexandre Garfield.

Chris heard the page as he looked up from his desk as he saw the name pop up on his screen. Really, you leave me for Noah again and you can just leave me alone… Chris thought to himself. He wasn’t sure what was worse when you loved someone and they didn’t seem to love you with the same fire and intensity. At least that was the lie Chris had feed to himself, Ian, Kelly, his fellow crew members and really anyone that would listen to him rant about his broken heart.

The truth was though Chris was a broken man, hurt once long ago and too afraid to let himself be hurt once more runs right when everything seems the worst. That was the case with him and Lexi, that fateful day he overheard her words to Noah as he left her six weeks ago. He had survived six years without her he could survive six weeks.

Still part of him knew he couldn’t avoid her forever, even with light years of space between them their circles seemed too small to be able to hide. Taking a deep breath Chris taped the screen to answer her call as he waited for the connect to take.

Lieutenant Christopher Robins

Lexi’s eyes got a bit wider as she saw Chris pop on the view screen. Part of her, well a large part of her actually never expected him to answer the call. She had tried for a week in earnest after the events of the science conference. The second week she had just pouted. The third-week righteous indignation had set in and Lexi sent several messages far more angry in tone than probably what was needed. A month after the conference and completely drunk on some homemade liquor, a tearful Lexi called his personal communicator leaving a confusing barrage of why can’t we talk about this and don’t ever call me again. The next week she had gotten the flu or what she thought was the flu. A trip to the doctor changed everything.

Seeing Chris on the other end of the screen made her words stuck in her throat. Her mind went blank and she clenched her teeth tightly together. She wasn’t mad but more scared he would see her break down. Lexi has to present a neutral facade. Chris needed to know what was happening but not how she felt about it.

“Hello,” she said abruptly and then just sat there waiting for his reply.

Lt. Lexi. Garfield

“You called me buttercup… what do you want?” was Chris’s reply as he rolled his eyes as he sat there. He wasn’t sure why he had accepted the call, every time he tried to feel something for Lexi she always seemed to end up running back to Noah. For over ten years he has wanted to be more and the one shot he had seemed to not be enough, the scene of her nearly nude embracing Noah as she dismissed Chris was enough to make the final moment snap inside of him. “What do you need?” he asked her as he waited her to say something, anything.

Lieutenant Christopher Robins

“What do I need,” she asked feeling the frustration and tension building in her body. This might not have been the time to call. Since she did, however, Lexi could not just hang up. His flippant response and eye roll was quickly sending her into the red zone. “Maybe for you to pick up the comm line. Maybe for you to not make me feel like I am some love-struck teenager desperate to get the great Christopher Robins to grace me with a hello. Maybe I need something other than a greeting that you save for the chicks you bang once and then no longer want anything to do with. Maybe that is what I need,” Lexi ground her teeth together so tightly her jaws ached. She could feel her eyes wanting to start to fill but the fire in her veins right now evaporated the tears away before they had a chance to fall.

Lt. Lexi Garfield science

“Oh that’s rich coming from you, you know as damn well as I do that nothing that happened was cause I saw you like any of the other women. Every time I turn around Noah is popping up though,”

“Yeah that is weird with how fast Noahsnuck up all the time with how fast you can high tail it from any situation you don’t like. I mean hell how do you not have Olympic gold for sprints or distance running,” Lexi threw in a barb talking over Chris for the moment. Yes, he had a point that Noah showed up but it was not like Stein swooped in a red velvet bathrobe with a glass of wine in one hand twiddling his handlebar mustache in the other. She had to fight the buzz in her ears to listen to what else Chris was saying. Clenching her fists, Lexi dug her nails into her palms to help her focus. She missed what he had been saying before but it seemed he was still on the Noah rant.

” I don’t get it I really don’t but you guys seem far more destined than the two of us… so yeah maybe I don’t pick up… I don’t need to be reminded I am always going to be second place all the time.” Chris retorted with as he took a deep breath as he tried to keep his mind calm and collected. He wasn’t out of love with her, you never fall out of love and keep this anger. Anger is just the other end of love, and if he could be angry at her then he could still love her just as much.

“Second place,” Lexi slammed her hands down on the desk so hard it stung. “You have to show up and actually do something for more than a hot minute to win anything, Chris. You wouldn’t know that though because everything is always just handed to you.” Rising from her seat Lexi could feel her body shaking. Nothing she was saying made Chris feel an ounce of pain, anger, regret, or concern for what she was saying right now. He was just sitting there with the expression that said if he waited long enough the person irritating him would go away. Not being about to handle the dead silence between them, Lexi leaned towards the screen and snapped, “well aren’t you going to say something?” Right now she didn’t care what he said as long as he spoke to her. She had to tell him what was going on but needed the slightest bit of sympathy from Chris before she started.

“So… what… do… you… need.” he mocked with each word pausing in between for effect as he waited to see what this was all about, regretting more and more he even picked up the call to begin with.

Lieutenant Christopher Robins

“I needed you,” Lexi yelled out in the shrill tone women achieved when described as emotionally wrought by psychiatrists or doctors. “I needed you Chris that is why I called but the more I think about it why even start talking to you. You will hang up the second another skirt catches your eye or the topic bores you. So let me save you the trouble,” she said with her tone growing angrier by the minute. Two minutes and ten seconds shown on the time stamp in the corner. Lexi had no idea how long the call was going to last but this time was too short to actually have broken the news and too long for a voice mail. Two minutes and ten seconds was a perfect time however to break your heart or your resolve to do what was right.

Lt. Lexi Garfield Science

“Is that what you think of me? Just some skirt chaser? Lord… you knew all about Tiffany and all the crap I dealt with her before I came to the academy. You and Ian where the ONLY ones who ever knew of that. I chased cause it dulled the pain, I chased case the one girl I wanted I couldn’t have… but I never… not one single time… have chased since that date. Not once… not ever again. I may get over you in time… but you will always find Noah to crawl back to. So you don’t have to be alone, but I will always be alone… so yeah… I run, cause it’s better to run then be made a fool every single time.” Chris countered, an angry low growl in his time as he looked at her. Every single moment of his life for the last two years he devoted for her, even between the girls he chased in the academy they were all distractions from how he felt. Once he opened Pandora’s box of emotions he had for her he couldn’t just shove it all back in and pretend she didn’t mean the world to him. This also meant he wasn’t ever certain how to get past all the pain and heartache of always coming being second fiddle in a one fiddle show.

“So you can sit there, looking pretty and tell me how much you needed me… but at least you have someone who loves you… I don’t even have that anymore.” Chris snarled as he felt so ready to just be done with this call but somehow compelled all the same. “So… how about the next time you want to meet me on some planet to see what could have been… lets just skip the whole charade and just have you leave with Noah and be done with it.”

Lieutenant Christopher Robins

Lexi’s face lost all color. The anger that was burning in her belly diminished like it was doused with water by a single phrase. I will get over you in time . At least that is what Lexi heard. Subconsciously her brain interpreted his may to will. This was most likely due to Lexi knowing if she didn’t tell him it was his baby she was carrying Chris would never forgive her.

Alexandra looked at the screen like she had just been told someone died. She could not move. She could not speak. Her intentions had been to tell Chris she was pregnant and then ask for time to mull over the decisions that would need to be made. What occurred was a fight from out of nowhere. She did not have a rebuff or retort to any of his jabs and barbs. Half were based in truth while the other was half based on emotional responses. Part of Lexi wished they were still screaming at each other. Emotional responses meant you wanted the other person to feel what you were feeling only deeper so that they understood what was going on in your head. People always knew how to wound those they loved the most which was why you carelessly tossed out carefully crafted insults in a fight. They gave you the fodder for making up; except when the insult or angry promise crossed the point of no return. Lexi accused Chris of always running away yet there was something worse. The slow walk away when the other person unable to stop you. Chris had just admitted he was at that point.

Lexi had to turn the conversation around but Chris’ complaints about Noah were justified except that it was not Noah breaking in to tear them apart. It was Lexi bringing Noah in as a buffer, a shield. For the first time, Lexi asked herself why? The obvious reason was Noah was predictable. She could count on Noah Stein to not only come but stay until Lexi found her feet. Chris would come but he never stayed. How could she subject a baby to what broke her heart time after time? What would be worse though was if Chris didn’t want to stay and be a dad? If he uttered those words to her right now Lexi would never be able to forgive him. This meant the only choice she could make was to take the decision from his hands. She had nine months. There would be other opportunities to inform him that she was pregnant and keeping the baby.

“You’re right,” Lexi felt her voice crack. She had to get off the call or her resolve to protect the fantasy of her and Chris would crumble. “I will never be alone. I will always have a part of you with me to love. They will call me mommy and I will tell them everything I love about you ” The knot in her throat holding back what she needed to say was ready to choke her. Her sinuses were tingling and eyes beginning to burn. “I love you. Please don’t ever forget that. Wonder twin powers activate,” her voice hitched as she kissed the tips of her fingers and pressed them to the disconnect button on the screen.

Lt. Lexi Garfield Science