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Holo-deck side sim: River's secret past time

Posted Oct. 21, 2019, 2:12 a.m. by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) (Nathan Derricutt)

Posted by Lieutenant Ian Bordeaux (Chief Diplomatic Officer) in Holo-deck side sim: River’s secret past time

Posted by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) in Holo-deck side sim: River’s secret past time

Posted by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) in Holo-deck side sim: River’s secret past time
Posted by… suppressed (22) by the Post Ghost! 👻
River walled along the corridors of the Atlantis. she had manged to secure some off time and she looking forward to it. However she had, had some trouble deciding what to do on the holo-deck. But after thinking for a while, she had decided to do something she had kept secret for the longest time. She hadn’t done it for so long. the last time she ad done it was with lily. She had been avoiding t for the fear of the memories it could stir up However she had an itch and needed it scratched.

Once she got the too the holo-deck she loaded up a pre set programme. her original programme had been lost with a lot of things. The computer beeped to letting her know the programme was read. she took a deep breath and entered.

It was an empty music room. With instruments resting against the walls. In the centre stood a white grand piano. River sighed and walked up to it taking a seat and making sure her posture was right. she placed her hands on the keys and then stopped “Where do i even begin?” she asked herself. As she thought her fingers began to play with the keys and it was almost like a bomb went off in her brain. she remembered playing to others in the orphanage. she remembered playing t her CO, playing to Abigail Harkin on their second date and then she remembered Playing to Lily, her bright green eyes watching River’s every move listening to every note and smiling. As she remembered all the fun she had and the loss she had suffered her hands started playing on their own they played Beethoven “Moonlight” Sonata.

The first movement was easy her muscle memory kicking in and her years of practise. River was engrossed in her music the sorrowful tones of the first movement setting something off inside her. The thoughts of lily lying motionless her green eyes closed forever, Abigail Harkin, the prettiest and smartest marine River knew, the women she loved, being a shell of herself after what was done to her and all those she had lost. A single tear slipped down her face. The sorrow she had felt being vented through the notes.

When she reached the second movement she started to feel happier, the subtle joyous notes helping her to remember all the good in her life the friends she had lost but now remembered more clearly then ever before. Sharing ice cream with lily and watching her play in the park, her and Harkin’s first kiss, the moonlight walks they would take together, the day she proposed. The jokes and pranks she and others had made. All the good she had felt. It fed into the second movement Making it take on a whole knew air of joy

When she got the the third movement it was almost like another person was sitting there. River came alive full of energy and her characteristic frown had turned into smile. Her cold eyes warmed and the of isolation dropped. All this transpired as her fingers danced over the keys.

Lieut Styxx (Marine)

OOC: Oops sorry i got carried away. Here’s link to the full Music she is playing: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OsOUcikyGRk

<Bump>

Ian stood silently as he looked at River sitting over the piano. He had been thinking of using the holodeck but found himself intrigued when he saw who was running the program. River had been with him in the recent golf spectacle, and the pair hadn’t quite gotten off on the right foot. This made Ian all the more curious as to what holoprogram someone with no funny bone in her would want to run.

He thought maybe some World War 2 enactment, kill all the Nazi’s. Or maybe a page from classic cinema and go into some bloody films like Tarintino or Rodriguez. He had to admit this was the very last thing he expected as he felt a bit taking aback. Walking over to her he crossed the distance from the arch and her with a bit of a loud step so he could make certain she was aware of him.

“I must say, that was amazing. Who knew under all that bravado beat a soulful spirit.” Ian said with a small smile as he shifted slightly about the piece she had just played then feeling like maybe he was intruding at the same time. Thinking that the moment might not be quite right for small quips Ian wondered if he should bow out from the room as to not force River from opening up if she didn’t feel like this.

“I’m sorry I… it wasn’t locked but I shouldn’t have barged in either, if you want I can leave.” Ian said as he felt like perhaps this was not a moment for him. He had to confess to himself he had a great many questions, the raw emotions made his interest pique as to what might but the story behind the piece for her but not everyone always wanted someone to come find them at their most vulnerable.

Bordeaux, Yeoman/Diplomat

River heard the foot steps and reacted on instinct she shot up a drew one of her throwing knives. She was about to throw when she saw it was Ian. Just what I need Mr Bordeuax she thought angrily. The she heard him speak a smart comment, of course he would make comment.

“It’s too late now. Your here. you’ve caught me” River said lowing her arm.”I’m sure you can’t wait to run out of here and yell all over the ship what you saw. River the serious marine plays the piano. I can relentlessly mock her about ti now. Is that not what you do? or is the messiah complex you seem to believe i have, making me jump to the wrong conclusions?” She asked hotly. It was clear she was very much caught off guard and when it came to the fight or flight nature of humans, she had jumped right to flight. Which wasn’t surprising, it was River after all.

Lieut Styxx (Marine)

“Wasn’t planning to mock you, though that does give me some great ideas. Still all the same color me impressed all the same while.” Ian said as he came pondered a bit on what he just saw. “Though if I wanted to mock you, I could have done it long before. When did you learn to play?” Ian asked her, fascinated by this side. If he was honest it didn’t feel all that strange to see a new side. I mean why wouldn’t she be multifacted, Ian would have to be a fool to think there was only some mindless grunt under her rough exterior.

Bordeaux, Yeoman/Diplomat

River sighed and thought for a few moments. she was deciding how much to tell. “In the orphanage. my father was killed on the same mission my mother and her ship vanished. So i was thrown in an orphanage. The owners where a cruel pair of Ferengi. If you learnt a craft and made your self useful you’d get more food then the others. So i learnt the piano. I picked it because i got to sit down for long periods of time. We weren’t allowed much rest or sleep we had to increase the profit margin, or be beaten for it. However i had to learn the piano well and quick, or get cast aside. So i did and i got good” She said paling her hand on the piano.

“Then every function i was rolled out to play all night for hours and hours. I never enjoyed it. Until i got older” she said keeping to the basic information. she didn’t like people prying into her past. it had a tendency to awaken a few memories she would prefer to forget.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Ian walked past River and sat down at the piano as he looked it over, “That seems how it always goes. The past comes back and then you are left with just the memories.” Ian said softly as he began playing softly as he looked over at River.

OOC: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JFEftsKAUvY

IC: “This was something I used to play a lot, I grew up on a ranch. My cousin… she taught me how to play.” Ian said as he kept going, the somber tones echoing in the room. “She was my best friend in some ways, yes I had my family siblings, school friends… but she was always my partner in crime.” Ian said thinking about Crissy, he had a small smile on his face but seemed to have a sense of sadness as he did.

“Don’t be ashamed of the past… it brought you here.” he said as he paused for a moment and looked over at River.

Bordeaux, Yeoman/Diplomat

River looked at him “Yeah but my the path of my past is paved in misery and thousands of dead. I don’t have many good memories.” she said truthfully. she was surprised, was this really the same guy she met on the holodeck, the smart ass who mocked her several times? she pushed the question out of her mind for now.

“That song wasn’t that Mellon collie and sadness by, was it cracking turnips or something like that. A piece with an undercurrent of sadness.” she said simply “Interesting how you play such a piece when you talk of your friend” she added.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“Well… she loved them. American bands of the late 20th century, but the song itself was always somber. The farm can can but dangerous, when she was younger she got bucked off the horse we rode. In some ways the life was easy but lot of dangers where we were at, granted while in Starfleet I have had a few friends get killed in the line but accidents when you are 14 were far more hard to forget. When she was bucked off it severed her spine, injuries like this could normally be fixed but the shattering made it hard to fix. She played these songs when she was the most down.”

Bordeaux, Yeoman/Diplomat

River nodded “I didn’t have time to adjust to my parents being gone. My babysitter too everything of value and threw me in the orphanage, the day after the report came in. i was so young i couldn’t process it.” she said truthfully.

“I know what it’s like to lose friends and loved ones. Not all of them died, the lucky ones did. The other are stuck in a living hell, not knowing who they are or who anyone else is. It’s easier dealing with dead friends. You can remember them how you want to. Not try to remember them and then see them as they are now” she added as she took a seat next to Ian.

“Music can help though. it’s a simple chance of escape.” she said after a short pause.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

<BUMP>

“That it can, so what else can you play? What is your favorite piece?” Ian asked River, he didn’t want to push her. He had made a few assumptions before and felt the need to take it a bit slower. “Maybe you can show me a piece.” Ian asked her.

Bordeaux, Yeoman/Diplomat

River had to think for a while “I haven’t played in so long. I didn’t get much of a chance at my last posting. I’m not entirely sure i can remember” she said honestly. After a few more seconds she nodded “Got it” she said as she got ready to play “This was Abi’s favorite.” she added. she got ready and began to play a slow song but with a few quick moments in it. As she played river absently started humming along with the tune.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

OOC: The song is once upon a December. Here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bs2VL_HYG9Y

<BUMP>

Ian listened as she played, he had to admit this took him aback some. It was beautiful yet somewhat haunting at the same time. It had a sense of elegance and grace yet this undercurrent of sadness a despair. Knowing the Lieutenant this seemed to fit perfectly for her in some ways the more he talked to her. If someone asked him what would be her song that fit her best something along Flight of the Valkyries might have came to mind. Now though this fit the somber room tone of the room far better.

“That… wow.” Ian said softly as the echoes of the piano rang through his ears as she finished the piece. He was seldom lost for words, the Captain would tell anyone that if they ever asked her.

After a few moments Ian found himself more composed as he did a small smile that had a slight twitch to it as he thought more on the piece. “You know if you just started conversations with ‘Hi I am River and I get cranky but don’t judge me too quick.’ it might work to your benefit. Though it might also get more questions and somehow I don’t think you are a let’s talk it out kind of girl. Though in all fairness you have been doing just fine right now so maybe we can have a pow wow later with more.” he said, the last part having a small wink.

“So, you like aggressive golf and haunting piano… if I keep peeling layers am I going to find out you love to crochet and have my little pony posters? ” he said, his tone friendly and kind as he said it. Before when they first meet his snarky attitude may have not giving her much chance to be as reflective but in his defense she came out swinging just as hard herself.

Bordeaux, Yeoman/Chief Diplomat

River shook her head “Sorry to disappoint you, i was more for Dora the explorer” she said half smiling “I don’t often talk to people because either my reputation as the devil of Acheron proceeds me. And while it can be useful, People either fear me, hate me or thing I’m a sadistic heartless cow. It doesn’t help that star fleet tried to paint me as black as night. I represent to much of what they don’t want the galaxy to know, that star fleet has a dark side. They want the federation to be seen as a shining white knight. when it’s not. The only reason I’m here today is because the Romulan star empire and the Klingon empire sent character witnesses to my trial. that’s another reason most people don’t like me, they thing I’m to chummy with the Klingons and the Romulans.” she said sighing and standing up and facing Ian.

“Well what often matters is what you think. Higher ups are always going to be stiff assholes but you… well you are the one who reacts to it all. It’s your choices that matter.”

“But the thing that gets me the most, why people don’t like me. Is this.” she said pointing to the Marine insignia on her uniform sleeve “Because I’m a marine. I’m not a scientist or diplomat or even an engineer. I’m a marine and proud of it. But many hate us, they thing we are to aggressive, to dumb or to militaristic for star fleet. Some don’t even see us as star fleet officers, no matter what we do, we are still hated. A higher percentage of marines have died defending the federation then any other department. People judge me as soon as i walk into a room, because I’m a marine. when so much is stacked against you. what is the point of even trying to make friends.” she said after a long pause.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“Oh hon that is rich, you maybe a little full of yourself now. I have never meet a single Starfleet officer who disliked any Marines… well least not on principle alone. Maybe if you tried to not tell them the second you meet me that I know you hate me cause I am a Marine and just get to know the people. I think you’d be surprised your world view is a little jaded by that stick you sometimes keep up your kiester.”

Bordeaux, Yeoman/ Chief Diplomat

River shrugged her shoulders “Maybe, maybe not.” she said simply “Everyone says i have a stick up my backside. Like i had a choice. i had to be this way to survive. No one seems to get that. No one seems to care or even know what i did for the federation. Then when i try telling them to get them to understand the either tell me to lighten up or say i have a messiah complex.” She said. it was clear river had been through a lot but she seemed to think everyone disliked her. Maybe it was a reflection of what she thought about herself, maybe she hated herself for surviving when so many didn’t. River had never thought about whether or not she had survivors guilt.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“I’m not gonna say it doesn’t sound like some tough breaks, but the one thing I think you don’t step back and see with is you’re not the only one forced to sacrifice. I think reason people think you have the messiah complex, or want to be a martyr is it seems from your point of view… no one but you ever suffered from oversight of the Federation or Starfleet. Maybe instead of trying to have regrets about the past… you find a way to move on into the future? You can’t change what happened… but you can find a way to move on.”

Bordeaux, Chief Diplomat

River could see his logic and agreed with it partially “Yet what happened forged me into the person i am today. It changed me so completely. how do you forget and move on form the events that made you who you are?” River asked

“Especially when you’ve seem the things I’ve seen, done the things I’ve done and head the things I’ve heard. It’s not so easy to move on when you still hear and see the past.” she added. So much had happened to River, and she wasn’t about to share it now. But maybe she could use this time to start.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“I may not be the counselor, can’t really say for certain. I don’t think you have to though forget who you are, but you can’t let what happened weigh you down. You must use it, forge you a new you with the past and future. Only you can find a way to get past what happened, no counselor, captain, department head insert authority figure here can figure this out for you. That said, you never have to go alone if you don’t want to either. I know for one I have always been a helping hand to people when needed, my roommate from the Academy Chris Robins was a mess and I feel like I am still helping him patch his past, it isn’t as severe as yours but everyone reacts differently… you just have to find your balance.”

Bordeaux, Chief Diplomat

River shook her head “I don’t even know who i am any more. Counsellors are pointless.” River said. she had put up so many walls, it was rare for her to show how fragile she truly was. “I’ve seen so many ‘counsellors’. It feels like it’s the first time in ages they haven’t bothered me. What makes then thing their so good all they do is read a few books and they know how to help every one.” she said balling her fists.

“Yet it took an at first, annoying man. It’s been a long time since I’ve told anyone anything. So i must ask you to keep this secret.” she said after a long pause.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

<BUMP>

“Hey I have my charms, and uses. Trust me I have no need to spread your secret. Just… don’t think you can’t talk to others. My friends Lexi and Chris are coming aboard soon and the pair of them have enough secrets to topple a small government. Still, I try to be a sounding board for them and I can always be one for you. You don’t have to be alone unless you want to be.”

Bordeaux, Chief Diplomat

River nodded “I don’t want to be. However everyone who has gotten close to me, friends, relatives and many others, have all died or worse. Being my friend doesn’t do much aside from lowering you life expectancy.” River said simply “I mean how many people would want to be friends with me. I’m known for my brutality and my lack of mercy. despite the fact hat the circumstances were far worse then normal. I also seem to be a death totem for these around me. Not exactly gleaming CV for a friend” she added.

Lieut Styxx (Marine)


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