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pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna's Office

Posted Oct. 14, 2020, 8:11 p.m. by Lieutenant Auleraine Brison (Engineering Officer) (Melissa Aragon)

Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Auleraine Brison (Engineering Officer) in pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna’s Office
(snip)

Oh now that was difficult. Revna didn’t want to see out of curiosity or a sense of trade off. She knew Lera needed to do it. She needed to release the tension and the need to hide. She could tell though, that if she didn’t say yes, Lera may not open up to her again. Revna turned slightly to be more facing her. Her own scars still visible to an extent. Revna simply nodded her head in affirmation to Lera’s question, “Yes” she said softly. It needed to be Lera’s choice, but she also knew Lera needed to know Revna was willing to share in this with her.
Lt. Edman, Counselor

The softness of the yes somehow registered and Lera turned her head. “Mardusk made a program from the files. I don’t know how. He played it on the holodeck before we were together.” She looked away, staring blankly at the movie though not watching it. “He said he wanted to see my face.” The words from him still amazed her.

Without a word, she got up and moved towards the small console Revna had beside the pushed back couch. Without sitting down, she typed in the commands that brought the video feed to the console. “Done…” she said, simply, and moved to the chair furthest from the console to let Revna see.

Lera
Eng

Revna watched Lera get up and move towards the console. She lets the movie keep playing, letting Lera watch it and distract herself as she watches the replay that Lera has turned on for her. She watched quietly taking in all the details. Lucky for Lera, and Lucky for Mardusk, that the original rescue team was also male Orions. She was sure that was why Lera had no overtly fearful connections to Orions in general. That of course didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified to her core of the ones that did that to her.

She sat there for a moment, and putting the hypo back in the box and securing the neck of her uniform she thought carefully. Then as smoothly as possible she stood and walked over to the console and turned it off. She turned and looked at Lera, a woman, an officer, with a great deal of spine and fortitude. An iron will to live, and a titanium core that allowed her to endure that for so long, in order to save those who were with her. She walked over to her and knelt down in front of her, she took both her hands in hers. “Lera, you did a good thing. You save lives, there is no doubt about that. You know that, any one who was there, knows that. Anyone who knows you, knows that. But, and this is the hardest things, that does not mean the pain just goes away. Just because you choose knowing the consequences does not mean you aren’t allowed the pain. You are allowed to feel the pain, the fear, and to desperately wish you hadn’t had to make the choice even though you know you’d make it again.”

Revna watched her silently. “But together, we can make the pain and the memories less powerful over us. If you want to do that.”
Lt. Edman, Counselor

Lera had seen the movie, but had lost track of what was happening. She stared at the floor of cushions, perched on the edge of one of the pushed back chairs. As Revna finished, she glanced back up at her and listened to what she said. “That’s just it, though. I don’t feel anything. I mean, I did what I had to do to help the others, like you said. But beyond that,” she shrugged and looked down at her hands. “It’s almost like watching the holo. I know it happened,” she laughed but it was unsettling, “I can feel it.” She rolled her shoulders indicating the scars on her back. “But the rest,” she shrugged again. “I don’t even know where to begin. Mar says the nightmares are getting worse. All I know is I wake up almost unable to breathe. But I don’t remember the dreams.” She looked back down at her hands. “I’m worried I’ll hurt him.” Her final phrase spoken soft enough that it was more of a thought given words than something she actually meant to confess.

Lera
Engineer
(OOC: Leaving room for replies)
Several thoughts went through Revna’s mind at Lera’s words. Each needing to be dealt with. But the first, was the one Lera hadn’t meant to say. The one that bothered her, and scared her more than anything. She was afraid she’d hurt Mardusk. And to a normal person that words might seem comic, but Revna knew they were meant deadly seriously. The idea of small statured Lera actually physically hurting Mardusk was unlikely, but she knew where the thought came from, and that it was just as likely to happen. Her voice smooth and low, Revna settled into a sitting position on the floor in front of where Lera perched. She reached out taking her hands, giving her a small anchor in the chaos that swirled in her mind at the moment. “How do you think you’ll hurt him, Lera?”

“You said that Mardusk told you the nightmares are getting worse. How long have they been getting worse?” She was going to have to get Lera’s permission to talk to Mardusk about this. If she couldn’t remember the dreams, Mardusk might have some clues to help her help Lera. Lera felt it, all too deeply. Otherwise she wouldn’t be staring at her hands, voice barely above a whisper, perched on the edge of her seat ready to bolt and the smallest provocation. Her mind just wasn’t ready to process it. Hence the nightmares. “Since you don’t remember your nightmares, would it be okay if I ask Mardusk about it? All of it, so we can help you?” She asked it softly. It would be Lera’s choice. They certainly could move forward without Revna talking to him

Lt. Edman, Counselor

Lera saw Revna take her hands, but she couldn’t honestly say she felt it. How would you hurt him? The question rolled over and over in her mind. Hurt who? Oh.. Mardusk. A man who cared enough for her he was willing to slay the deamons in the holo for her. She slowly looked up and shrugged. “I don’t know? Maybe I’ll wake up sometime and not want him near me? Or lash out and hit him, struggle ‘cause I think he is them… I don’t know.”

She looked back down and willed herself to feel Revna, her fingers slowly curling to hold the woman’s hands. She thought she was merely cradling the Counselor’s hands in her own. She wasn’t aware the grip was almost as if she would drown if she let go. She didn’t look up at the question of talking to him. “I guess… I mean… I don’t know if he’ll talk to you.” She finally looked up, tears welling in the back of her eyes. “I am not scared of Orions. You know that, right?” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. She just knew that she didn’t want Revna to go back and say that to Mardusk.

Lera
Engineer


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