STF

pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna's Office

Posted Oct. 14, 2020, 9:17 p.m. by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) (Jennifer Ward)

Posted by Lieutenant Auleraine Brison (Engineering Officer) in pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna’s Office

Posted by Lieutenant Auleraine Brison (Engineering Officer) in pre-sim - Movie and Revelations - Revna’s Office
Posted by… suppressed (2) by the Post Ghost! 👻
(snip)
Oh now that was difficult. Revna didn’t want to see out of curiosity or a sense of trade off. She knew Lera needed to do it. She needed to release the tension and the need to hide. She could tell though, that if she didn’t say yes, Lera may not open up to her again. Revna turned slightly to be more facing her. Her own scars still visible to an extent. Revna simply nodded her head in affirmation to Lera’s question, “Yes” she said softly. It needed to be Lera’s choice, but she also knew Lera needed to know Revna was willing to share in this with her.
Lt. Edman, Counselor

The softness of the yes somehow registered and Lera turned her head. “Mardusk made a program from the files. I don’t know how. He played it on the holodeck before we were together.” She looked away, staring blankly at the movie though not watching it. “He said he wanted to see my face.” The words from him still amazed her.

Without a word, she got up and moved towards the small console Revna had beside the pushed back couch. Without sitting down, she typed in the commands that brought the video feed to the console. “Done…” she said, simply, and moved to the chair furthest from the console to let Revna see.

Lera
Eng

Revna watched Lera get up and move towards the console. She lets the movie keep playing, letting Lera watch it and distract herself as she watches the replay that Lera has turned on for her. She watched quietly taking in all the details. Lucky for Lera, and Lucky for Mardusk, that the original rescue team was also male Orions. She was sure that was why Lera had no overtly fearful connections to Orions in general. That of course didn’t mean she wasn’t terrified to her core of the ones that did that to her.

She sat there for a moment, and putting the hypo back in the box and securing the neck of her uniform she thought carefully. Then as smoothly as possible she stood and walked over to the console and turned it off. She turned and looked at Lera, a woman, an officer, with a great deal of spine and fortitude. An iron will to live, and a titanium core that allowed her to endure that for so long, in order to save those who were with her. She walked over to her and knelt down in front of her, she took both her hands in hers. “Lera, you did a good thing. You save lives, there is no doubt about that. You know that, any one who was there, knows that. Anyone who knows you, knows that. But, and this is the hardest things, that does not mean the pain just goes away. Just because you choose knowing the consequences does not mean you aren’t allowed the pain. You are allowed to feel the pain, the fear, and to desperately wish you hadn’t had to make the choice even though you know you’d make it again.”

Revna watched her silently. “But together, we can make the pain and the memories less powerful over us. If you want to do that.”
Lt. Edman, Counselor

Lera had seen the movie, but had lost track of what was happening. She stared at the floor of cushions, perched on the edge of one of the pushed back chairs. As Revna finished, she glanced back up at her and listened to what she said. “That’s just it, though. I don’t feel anything. I mean, I did what I had to do to help the others, like you said. But beyond that,” she shrugged and looked down at her hands. “It’s almost like watching the holo. I know it happened,” she laughed but it was unsettling, “I can feel it.” She rolled her shoulders indicating the scars on her back. “But the rest,” she shrugged again. “I don’t even know where to begin. Mar says the nightmares are getting worse. All I know is I wake up almost unable to breathe. But I don’t remember the dreams.” She looked back down at her hands. “I’m worried I’ll hurt him.” Her final phrase spoken soft enough that it was more of a thought given words than something she actually meant to confess.

Lera
Engineer
(OOC: Leaving room for replies)
Several thoughts went through Revna’s mind at Lera’s words. Each needing to be dealt with. But the first, was the one Lera hadn’t meant to say. The one that bothered her, and scared her more than anything. She was afraid she’d hurt Mardusk. And to a normal person that words might seem comic, but Revna knew they were meant deadly seriously. The idea of small statured Lera actually physically hurting Mardusk was unlikely, but she knew where the thought came from, and that it was just as likely to happen. Her voice smooth and low, Revna settled into a sitting position on the floor in front of where Lera perched. She reached out taking her hands, giving her a small anchor in the chaos that swirled in her mind at the moment. “How do you think you’ll hurt him, Lera?”

“You said that Mardusk told you the nightmares are getting worse. How long have they been getting worse?” She was going to have to get Lera’s permission to talk to Mardusk about this. If she couldn’t remember the dreams, Mardusk might have some clues to help her help Lera. Lera felt it, all too deeply. Otherwise she wouldn’t be staring at her hands, voice barely above a whisper, perched on the edge of her seat ready to bolt and the smallest provocation. Her mind just wasn’t ready to process it. Hence the nightmares. “Since you don’t remember your nightmares, would it be okay if I ask Mardusk about it? All of it, so we can help you?” She asked it softly. It would be Lera’s choice. They certainly could move forward without Revna talking to him

Lt. Edman, Counselor

Lera saw Revna take her hands, but she couldn’t honestly say she felt it. How would you hurt him? The question rolled over and over in her mind. Hurt who? Oh.. Mardusk. A man who cared enough for her he was willing to slay the deamons in the holo for her. She slowly looked up and shrugged. “I don’t know? Maybe I’ll wake up sometime and not want him near me? Or lash out and hit him, struggle ‘cause I think he is them… I don’t know.”

Revna nodded, processing it. Lera was was not afraid of Mardusk. She was afraid that she would be afraid of him, in a moment of panic and mistake him for the Orions she was terrified of. Revna had seen it before. The fear that you do something to push the one you love away when you need them so desperately to be your anchor in the storm. “Lera, Mardusk is a strong man. Physically and mentally. If you wake up and need space to breath to process, it is not going to hurt him. He respects you enough to know you have to heal your way.” Revna had to stop herself from saying that Mardusk loved her. Oh she had no doubt, she’d seen it at dinner, but she also didn’t know where in their relationship they were with that. And right now was not the time to drop that bomb on Lera. “Lera, I want you to think. Tell me something that Mardusk says to you, that only he says to you, that makes you feel safe or happy while you are with him.” If she could pin point a phrase or a word, or help Mardusk come up with one, she could help Lera not worry so much about hurting Mardusk if she woke up in a panic. Lera would recognize that that phrase identified Mardusk. And that way, if she was in a panic, he could say it and if it worked, Lera would actually recognize him outside of her flashback.

She looked back down and willed herself to feel Revna, her fingers slowly curling to hold the woman’s hands. She thought she was merely cradling the Counselor’s hands in her own. She wasn’t aware the grip was almost as if she would drown if she let go. She didn’t look up at the question of talking to him. “I guess… I mean… I don’t know if he’ll talk to you.” She finally looked up, tears welling in the back of her eyes. “I am not scared of Orions. You know that, right?” She couldn’t think of anything else to say. She just knew that she didn’t want Revna to go back and say that to Mardusk.

Lera
Engineer

Revna squeezed her hands back, keeping Lera anchored to their conversation. She held Lera’s gaze. “I know you aren’t.” She nods her head towards the dark screen, “You’re afraid of THOSE Orions. And that is two totally seperate things.” Lera was feeling the trauma though. Her body felt it, but her mind was unable to process it. Lera was either going to panic or she was going to bolt. She was going to use a grounding technique with her, she’d tell Mardusk about it too so that if Lera was in the middle of a flashback he could walk her through it.

Lera shook her head and glanced around. “I don’t know. I just know it’s him.” She let her hands go loose in Revna’s grasp

“I know this is going to sound strange, but Lera, tell me something you taste right now.”

“What?” Lera looked at her confused a moment. “Ummm my drink, I guess…”

“Two things you smell”

“Three things you can feel”

“Four things you can hear”

“And Five things you can see.”

Lt. Edman, Counselor

She shook her head. Lera wasn’t sure why Revna was asking. She pulled her hands back as if the woman was asking more of her than she could give. “I see you, smell the food, hear the holo…” She shook her head again and stood up, using her calves to push her chair back so she didn’t topple the woman over. “I don’t… I can see and hear just fine.” There was a moment of panic in her eyes. She wanted to bolt. But in that moment it was as if she wasn’t sure which way to go. She was watching a holo with Revna, she shouldn’t be this upset. She took a very deep breath and pulled back in on herself. Revna would recognize the signs. Lera was rebuilding her armor. She knew she had let loose more than she meant to and was trying to take it all back.

Lera
Eng

Lera wasn’t ready for this. Revna was concerned that Lera wasn’t even aware of what she’d shared. Lera was in a lot worse shape than she’d realized. She let Lera pull herself back in. That wasn’t a great long term solution, but the mind did that for a reason. The grounding technique had certainly helped her refocus, but now how much to tell Lera. Revna kept a hold of her hands though as Lera stood up. She tugged on Lera’s hands to indicate she needed help. There was no way Revna could get up on her own, not easily. She stood with Lera’s help and moved with her back over to their pile of pillows, popcorn, and drinks. Revna looked up at the screen…perfect timing!

She tugged Lera back to the floor with her. “Hey Lera…look! It’s Mardusk!” The scene showed a guard harrasing the spaniard swordsman and calls for the Brute Squad. Fezzik, the giant, appears, “I’m on the brute squad.”
Guard, “You are the brute squad.” Fezzik thumps the guard on the top of the head with a fist, knocking him out.
Revna elbows Lera in the side playfully. “Am I right? Tell me I’m right. Please?” Revna turns the conversation back to girl talk and being friends. “I am so going to call Mardusk the Brute squad the next time I see him.”
Lt. Edman, Counselor


Posts on USS Atlantis

In topic

Posted since


© 1991-2020 STF. Terms of Service

Version 1.11.2