Posted Oct. 22, 2020, 11:37 p.m. by Lieutenant Commander Gravel Mardusk (Chief of Security) (James Sinclair)
Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in side sim - Helping a Friend - Revna’s Office [TAG Mardusk]
Posted by Lieutenant Commander Gravel Mardusk (Chief of Security) in side sim - Helping a Friend - Revna’s Office [TAG Mardusk]
Revna listened and shook her head. “Stop.” She shook her head, “Mardusk, stop. I get it. I do, you want her recovery more than anything else. But what she does not need is you talking about walking away, taking a back seat, a time out, whatever you want to call it.” She sighed, “Look, I don’t want to pry into your personal relationship with Lera, but this isn’t an easy process. It’s hard, on everyone.” Her next words are, hesitant, she hated having to make people evaluate a relationship that those involved hadn’t decided on yet, and even those that were well established. “You have to decide if your relationship is worth it. It’s not my business, but you will be pulled into the process whether you want to be or not.” She held up a hand, she had heard him when he said he’d do whatever he could. “So with that settled, that means if you are having trouble, or there is just something you need to get off your chest, you have to come to me. We can not help her, if we’re carrying around questions, doubts, things we aren’t sure are significant. Especially if it’s something you aren’t sure you should mention to Lera. I’m not suggesting secrets. But even if it’s about yourself and not her. Okay?”
Mardusk’s arms crossed his chest and he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his thighs. “Thats fine. But I didn’t say anything about leaving… and I won’t because that ain’t happening unless she tells me to. So let’s just put that to bed right here and now. Good? Good.”
Revna just nodded, she knew it, but she had to make sure he knew it too. And even though she knew he did in situations like this it all had to be laid out in the open.
“Now let’s get some things straight about Lera’s mind set.” And his for that matter. He hated the Orions that did this to her, and Revna wasn’t that far behind. She really cared about Lera and what she’d seen, although a recreation, made Revna feel ragey. “Yes, Lera is terrified of what happened to her. However, she honestly does NOT feel or associate you with that in anyway. She is terrified of them. And that’s normal. We are all capable of realizing that the person who hurt us may share physical traits with other people we care about and not be afraid of those close to us.” Lera was totally in love with Mardusk, but it wasn’t her place to put that cat out of the bag. “However, I need you to understand and be clear on this. She is afraid that she will be afraid/react badly to you being in the room. She’s afraid she’ll hurt you. Physically, violently hurt you, and even more that she’ll hurt you emotionally. It’s a very real possibility in her mind. That she’ll be lost in whatever nightmare or flashback she is having and will simply lash out: physically and verbally.” She let that sit. Mardusk needed to understand the difference. “She’s desperate to protect you and terrified of loosing you because of this. She cares so much about you, that she’d put herself in real danger to protect you. And right now, in her mind, that means protecting you from herself.”
Mardusk smiled and said “For an Engineer, you’d think she’d have a better grasp of physics.” and he smiled. “I know she is afraid of hurting me… physically and otherwise. I need you to get it through her skull that isn’t an issue here. I’m a big boy, and I can take whatever she throws at me physically. And the rest, well, I’m also not stupid… contrary to some people’s opinions. I know where her fear and anger… and pain… are coming from. I’m not about to start taking that personally.”
“And I will. Well, we will-the three of us. I just needed to make sure we’re both on the same page, and understand exactly what’s going on, or not going on, with her.” Revna didn’t like the way he added ‘contrary to some people’s opinions.’ She hadn’t liked the comments left in his personnel record, and well, Revna was already attached to the people on this ship and she didn’t like the things they’d been put through. In a few more weeks she’d be walking around the ship doing her best mother hen impression. But today was about Lera.
“And the truth is that it’s quite the opposite. She needs someone to protect her, from herself.” She pauses in through for a moment. “Alright, tell me about these nightmares of hers. She said they are getting worse, but she doesn’t remember anything about them. She doesn’t remember waking up from them or having them. Tell me everything. How do you know she’s having one? How long do they last? What is she doing before, during, and mostly especially after? And how have they gotten worse?” Revna was going to have to figure out what part of the trauma exactly was being brought to the front during this nightmares. That would be the worst part of the trauma and would stand as a guide post for her treatment.
Lt. Edman, Counselor
“So the nightmares are almost always when she is really tired. Days off, even if she has one, are pretty mild. Fidgeting in her sleep, talking… but not really understandable. Sometimes she jerks awake and then falls almost always right back to sleep and is fine the rest of the night.” He paused and took a deep breath as he leaned back into the couch.
“But when she’s tired… or hasn’t eaten… they are bad. Screams… flailing about… yelling and crying. Those are the second worst ones. The worst are when she just cries and sobs and curls up in the fetal position and shakes for hours on end. I think those are the ones that hurt her the most… know they are for me.”
Revna listened and didn’t speak for several minutes, lost in thought. Finally she picked up a PaDD and started listing off several days in the last month. “Are those the days she had the worst ones? If so, she’s picking up double shifts those days, some times more. It’s possible she’s taking on more shifts to avoid and distract herself. So, I’m taking that away from her. And if that’s not the connection extra shifts will still make her over tired.” She sent a very formal and quick letter to the CE letting him know that Lera was restricted from extra shifts for medical reasons. “How often does she skip meals? Have you noticed any connection with it. Is she distracted, distant, agitated, withdrawn, or maybe even overly or forced happy, hyperactive?”
“Not too often… at least… not more than any of us, I guess. And she is pretty even in her demeanor, no noticeable agitation or hyper activity that I’ve seen.”
Moving back to the actual nightmares, Revna asks, “Do you ever try to talk to her? Soothe her in anyway? How does she react? I know that may seem incredibly invasive, but I need to know so we can come up with a way on how to manage them when they do happen.”
Lt. Edman, Counselor
Mardusk nodded and said “I only talk to her if they wake her up. Otherwise, I just make sure she is safe and comfortable until it fades and she simmers down. We’ve talked about the dreams before, but she says they are always the same… just reliving different times while she was captured. She does go back to the first time she figured out pissing them off kept the… well… more invasive things from happening often, though.”
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