Cargo Bay 3 - Nailed It

Posted Jan. 11, 2021, 11:45 p.m. by Lieutenant Commander Ian Bordeaux (Chief Diplomatic Officer) (Steven Sigle)

Posted by Fleet Captain Kelly Bordeaux (Commanding Officer) in Cargo Bay 3 - Nailed It

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Ian Bordeaux (Chief Diplomatic Officer) in Cargo Bay 3 - Nailed It

Hours went past as Aedan’s crew finished, as the three couples sat on their chairs in front of their cooking stations as makeup began to powder them down.

“I hate you, so much… why couldn’t you grab Crewman Boyler and his wife for this?” Chris said as he looked over at Ian only to have the make-up lady push his head back to the center position.

“This is going to be fun,” Lexi laughed relaxing back. “I mean it is like an impromptu spa.” Her voice had a deeply relaxed quality to it as she closed her eyes and enjoyed the make-up artist rub the top of her neck and shoulders. “If you sat still and let the woman work, Ming might be nice enough to work out some of that tension babe like Huan is doing for me.” Lexi took a deep breath and sighed enjoying every second. With a full-time job in the science department and a family, she rarely got time to relax like this.

“This is not going to be fun… this is going to be torture.” Chris so gruffly as he tried to get settled as they kept working to get them ready for the show.

“Besides how hard can it be to make a cake and we are working for the same thing. Some random entertainment package for the ship so it is not like we are actually going to win anything. It’s zero stress so lean back and stop fighting the woman about the shine on your nose.” Lexi let out a deep sigh as a crewman passed her a long neck bottle of beer.

“Oh you better believe there is going to be stress… this is Ian love… /IAN/. That man wrestled alligators just so he could use their meat for a roast then made souffle for every girl I ever saw him date… perfectly… immaculately… and I refuse to let that cajun hillfolk beat us!”Chris said with defiance to his tone.

“That souffle is made of gator? Wait don’t answer that,” Lexi looked a tad shocked at Chris’ comment. “I thought it was chicken pot pie and it’s better that way.” Lexi wasn’t sure if she really wanted Chris to confirm or deny her statement. Many a morning she had rooted around the small refrigerator they had in their room finding a bowl of the concoction. It was full of starch which made it a great hangover remedy. The last thing she wanted was to have Ian’s miracle next morning dish turn on her when she needed it most.

“No no no… the souffle was a souffle… I said he made a <ROAST> out of gator. Don’t you remember that spicy cajun roast dinner we had for his grandma’s 80th birthday?” Chris said with a devilish grin as he looked over at Lexi. “You said it was amazing, and asked for the replicator recipe which you gave to your parents for Hanukkah this year.”

“ETA twenty minutes!” came a shout from one of the stagehands as the hosts began to enter as they seemed to be talking amongst themselves. The hosts Chris noticed were an interesting group. The woman in the middle was the host he knew, she was a large sassy black named Nicole Smith, a woman who seemed louder than Ruth when she wanted candy. On her left was Aedan Teller, serving as special celebrity’s host this show often had, first time ever he had guested on this production. To the right, Dalton Black, the world-renowned half human half Romulan chef who was not known for having any sense of humor at all.

“I, for one thing, this is a great chance to get us all together… we need some morale boost and the others…” Ian said pointing to the Klingon couple down who didn’t seem to be saying a word, “They are really great… we vacationed with them a few times now… never on purpose… and to be fair I am not sure how they keep finding us… they just do… should I be worried they are always around?” Ian said as he looked over to Kelly.

Bordeaux, Chief Diplomat

“Only if I get blindfolded as you scream come on pumpkin you can do this as you get smashed on Klingon Blood wine,” Kelly smiled sweetly at her husband. The comment made Lexi lean forward slightly in her seat casting a glance between Chris, Ian, and Kelly. Waving a hand as if pushing the thought from everyone’s mind, Kelly gave a fast rundown of Opal, the day she and Ian got married, and their introduction to Gorka and Borka.

“Yet you forgot to tell them how you always lose to us,” Borka guffawed at Kelly moving from her seat towards the staging area.

“Like hell, we lose to you,” Kelly stood up ready to either progress the situation to another level or simply throw the first shot. “We won every single…”

“Don’t make me separate you two.” Ian said as he eyed the pairs. “I swear the things I get into… you know this is like that time on Vegin III where we had to talk out that couple from eating each other for ritual sacrifice and wanted us to do it too… sometimes you have to take the high road and not take the bait,” Ian told Kelly with a chiding tone.

“I’m five four. I can’t see the high road to take it,” she rolled her eyes at Ian.

“All contestants to their stations. We are live in five minutes,” a voice rang out sending the production crew into a flurry of activity. As always Aedan was prepared for every contingency as three stagehands large enough to be bouncers escorted Gorka and Borka towards their cooking station. Kelly shot a glance at Teller yet the sight was not what she expected. The man wasn’t randomly signing PaDD’s and talking on his comm as he gave out order. Instead, he was leaning on the small between Cera and Ruth listening intently and repeating the random words spilling from the girl’s lips as they labeled objects around the set. So much had changed since she had spent an appreciable amount of time with Ric’s former boss. It was hard today however to hold on to the resentment she felt when Aedan was saying words like “Santa”, “knowman”, “wollipop,” and “woodolph”.

Kelly stared hard at the trio as she fastened the apron around her waist. Christmas had always been about parties, booze, the occasional trip home, and playing Aunt to various friends and families children. Kelly had accepted long ago that she did not want kids but was that really her decision or a decision made based on events in her life. Ric was always gone. Kelly kept getting promotions until she finally received her own ship. Kelly wanted them one year, Ric wanted them another but never at the same time. The years of a life slipped by rapidly causing one to wake up one day with regrets they didn’t even know they would regret. Was that the subject of children for Kelly? Maybe she and Ian needed to step away from the Captain and Lt. Commander roles and have a conversation about being Mr. and Mrs. Bordeaux.

“Hello contestants,” Dalton’s deep voice boomed out on the set, “and welcome. Tonight we will make three dishes. The winner will be given the golden bakery hat and twenty-five thousand credits in gold-pressed Platinum but,” he held up a finger as he strode around to the front of the table, “the task will not be easy. The first challenge is to make Spotted Dog Bread Pudding. This is a traditional dish in honor of our host’s home country of England.”

“Oh that doesn’t sound so hard,” Lexi hip-checked Chris playfully. “We got this in the bag.”

“Just wait Lex baby… just wait,” Chris said as he whispered in her ear.

“It is a savory dish evolved from the Spanish dish called capirotada which is a dish of layered bread, onions, cheese, and meat or poultry and topped with sweet meringue,” Dalton explained the recipe. “That means I want to taste the cheese, meat of your choice, and the sweetness of the sauce to round out the flavor profile.”

“Wait…onions,” Lexi wrinkled up her nose. “I thought this was a dessert competition.”

“See I told you, shenanigans … shenanigans I say!” Chris said loudly as the stagehands began to quiet him.

“It isn’t that bad, trust me,” Ian said with a smirk as he felt more confidant than ever in this. He loved Lexi and Chris, but he was not losing to them, even with Kelly’s complete lack of skill in cooking.

“Aedan,” Kelly yelled feeling much like Chris but the man behind OMAP knew her too well and had deadened her mic. People would see the shocked expression on her face and read the words on her lips but few would catch the connection. “He muted me.” Kelly turned to Ian as her husband began to look over the utensils provided for him. “Why would he want to mute me?”

“So that it stops you from complaining,” Gorka guffawed loudly grabbing his belly. “This is not like that time on Belarta six where we found the lake we were swimming in was full of electric morays and had three minutes to get onto dry land. This is just baking and you are still belly aching.”

“With onions and chicken,” Kelly looked at Gorka raising an eyebrow. She drifte slightly realizing how often they actually showed up on vacation with the klingon couple. If Kelly was the suspicious type she would think they were some sort of spies yet that thought was even more insane than expecting to see the same couple shore leave after shore leave with a billion trillion other needles in the galactic haystack.

“You don’t use onions in your desserts,” Borka laughed out a deep chuckling sound. “Who doesn’t add sausage and onions, garlic, and zests to their after-dinner meals.”

“The dessert-eating population of the galaxy…or Russians,” Kelly quipped thinking about all the stuff Nat had made over the years.

“Your recipe is on the PaDD. You have one hour. Begin,” Dalton took his seat wearing the same austere expression he had since he had arrived at the competition.

Kelly Bordeaux


The contestants immediately broke into the small groups setting temperatures and pulling out utensils. “So the recipe says to boil the sugar and water to make maple syrup,” Lexi swiped the screen to the right and then back again several times. “Okay so it doesn’t tell us the temperature to boil the sugar too. I have seen enough cooking shows that says if you cook it too long it will burn. If you don’t cook it long enough....well I am not sure what happens when you don’t cook it long enough.” Pulling her hair back into a pony tail, Lexi no longer cared about the hours in hair and makeup. It was already hot under the lights and the heat from the stove top was not making it any cooler.

“Wait… wait… aren’t we supposed to pre-cook the chicken… and what temperature does chicken not kill people?” Chris asked Lexi with an arched eyebrow, as he was uncertain of either answer.

Gorka and Borka began to skim the ingredients and combine steps. If cooking the sugar down into a syrup was only going to be added to the onions, why not do it all at once. It would just increase the flavor of the onions in the sugar. The recipe called for the two ingredients to be added later but there was a clock running.

Kelly stood as she watched Ian stirring the syrup mixture. He had always been pretty handy in the kitchen but candy making was not his fortee. Steaks, barbecue, an anything you could flip with tongs was more his alley. Since there was not anything for her to do now, Kelly moved to the next stage of the recipe so that when Ian was finished all he had to do was prepare it. “In a separate bowl, stir together the eggs and half-and-half.” Kelly read aloud and cracked the thin white shells on the bowl rim as she read. “One. Two…three and now one and a half cups of half and half.” Kelly had always read the ingredients out loud as she added him. It was probably because that is what her grandmother did so the habit stuck. Pickin up a whisk she plunged it into the bowl and began whipping them as she read ‘Don’t beat them.’.

Abruptly she stopped and looked to the right and then the left. “Ian....Ian....uh…how do you incorporate eggs but don’t beat them.” She had hoped that with the one yolk remaining the concoction could be saved but all she was doing was chasing the yolk around the bowl with the whisk. “You have to beat them but the recipe says you can’t.” Kelly was already feeling stressed out. Chris was right. This challenge was not going to be fun or easy as his wife suggested.

“First you got to… wait crap the water,” Ian said as he put the pot off the stove as he looked back to Kelly. “Okay babe, first you gotta…” a loud ding could be heard from behind him as he looked at the oven as he opened it up. “One-second baby I am gonna add an extra twist to this the judges will love,” Ian said, as he reached behind him as he pulled a pan down as he began to grease it.

“Like I am gonna loose to a Robins, either of them… I would rather have Ruth beat me.” Ian mumbled under his breath.

At station one Lexi brought the chopped onions over to Chris as requested. “Okay heres,” she stopped as a retching sound erupted from her lips followed but another one.

“It’s okay, power through… we have all been there when making food Ian claims tastes good.” Chris said as he began to pat her on her back slowly as he let her get it out of her system.

“Heres the un,” a third retching sound emanated from Lexi this time making her body shake. Lexi blinked twice but the spicy scent of the fresh onions and the sickenly sweet scent of sugar had already started to work is hellish magic. “Oh god…take this…take this,” she held her hands out over the pan. The faint idea that she could vomit was becoming a strong possibility. Opening her fingers, she let the onions plop into the golden mixture Chris was stirring vigorously. The small kerplops only emphasized the struggle of Lexi trying to keep down the snacks they had eaten before the show started. Reaching to the side she grabbed the bowl with the prepared egg and milk mixture and shoved her face in it as she retched.

“Cut to camera’s two and three,” the production assistant instructed over the comms, “and offer them medics but remind them the clock is not stopping.”

Kelly Bordeaux.

“Lex… spin it spin it!” he said out loud, before remembering he was against her. Years of friendship he always wanted them to succeed, but he also wanted to win. It was a mix, as Chris had often been the one to win all prizes between them. This time though, that wasn’t going to happen.

Bordeaux, Robins

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