Posted by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)

(snip)

Revna took the picture and looked over it; taking in the happy family. A frozen moment of a happier time. Instead of putting it down Revna set it in her lab and placed the box with the ring on top. If River was willing later, she thought she should put some of these things up, to remember, to honor the memory. Revna knew something about that. She looked back at the box and waited.
Lt Edman, Counselor

River took the next frame and paused, the image was hand drawn it was a women at piano. A closer look and the women was clearly River “I’ve never seen this before. I mean Abi was always drawing she was an amazing artist. I mean it wasn’t uncommon for her to be drawing while listening to me play the piano. But why would this ne be framed?” River asked then she noticed something underneath it in the chest it was a birthday card. the handwriting in the card was very elegant ” To River, all my love Abi” She said reading the writing. In that moment River froze her hand started to shake again and tears where in her eyes. she just sat there not sure what to say or do.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Revna set the things in her lap down and very quietly, but quickly, moved to the replicator and came back with a glass of cold water. She set it near River, where she could reach it but not knock it over, and then sat back down next to her. She took the picture and the card and set them gently aside. This was one of those moments were words were not needed. River was at a loss for how she should act, thinking about it, trying to analyze (everyone did that at some point or another) but what she needed right now was to let herself feel the emotions the card and drawing had created. River didn’t need the words of an outsider to dispel the moment. So instead, Revna put an arm around the other woman’s shoulders and let her cry. Let her cry it out for however long or short she needed, and then they could decide what to do next. Abigail was still alive but lost, and her little girl was gone. River needed to mourn them, and Revna would let her.
Lt Edman, Counselor

How much time had passed was hard to tell. But eventually River stopped crying and took a sip of the water “I’m sorry. I’m supposed to be a tough marine and a peace of paper made me cry” she said drying her eyes “The truth is I didn’t have a chance to morn either of them. When Lilly died there was an attack the same day. the battle raged I tired to give myself a moment but that was so rare. The Abi was taken during the height of the fighting, then the relief fleet arrived. Then after that a soon as Acheron was declared safe I was arrested and thrown in a federation prison.” River scoffed and shook her head.

“Even siting in that brig I didn’t have much time to think, getting ready for my trial, having my trial then waiting for the result. If it wasn’t for the Klingons and the Romulans I would of been found guilty and left to rot.” she added after a short pause.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Revna had read River’s file of course and knew about the trial and everything that had happened. River had comported herself well and don’t what she’d needed to do. Revna wasn’t in a place to decide if the brass had been correct in investigating and then the trial or not. But she was glad for River’s sake that the Klingons and Romulans had spoken up. “You need to mourn, you lost a lot, and there are lots of ways to do that.” She looked in the trunk and back to River. “Let’s put these somewhere.” She handed the photo and ring box to River and stood up.
Lt Edman, Counselor

“I’m not entirely sure that’s a good idea, i mean its not like there isn’t space” River said gesturing around her quarters. they really where bare aside form the orate sword and Cain there was nothing on the walls or shelves “Maybe they should be kept in the boxes you know in case of damage and umm” River paused trying to think of a good excuse but she didn’t have any. the truth was he didn’t want to face that pain everyday, she knew she had to but she didn’t want to.

She sighed and shook her head “Maybe it would be appropriate to put them over there” she said gesturing to the empty shelf below the sword and cane.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Revna put a hand on her arm, “When you are ready. Though the memories hurt these things evoke happier memories than the memory of when you last saw them. Though their loss will always hurt, having these things out can help you remember the better memories. But only when you are ready.” Revna did place them on the shelf indicated, but flat, so they were there, but River could decide when she wanted them on display, when she wanted to see them. Then she resumed her seat and nodded to the trunk again. “What other treasures does this hold? And they are treasures, even if it’s hard to look.”
Lt Edman, Counselor

“harder then you know” River said as she sat back down her eyes lingering on the downed picture on the shelf. River picked up the Padds and turned them on. On one of them was Abi’s personnel log rive played it

Revna was simply quiet. She knew that in times of intense grief that the psyche had a need to set its own grief apart. That to acknowledge that others had experienced the same intense loss and heart ache seemed to deminish the importance of the person lost. Or that’s how it seemed and it didn’t bother Revna. Oh she understood far too well what River was going through, but she didn’t mind sitting quietly and letting River have that time to be the only one. It was part of the grief and healing process.

“Lance Corporal Abigail Harkins personnel log” the voice was gruff yet warm, the voice of someone who cared deeply but who also wasn’t afraid to be stern if they had to be. They also had a slight southern American accent which only got stronger the more the got excited “I can’t believe it. me and River where having a picnic by the azure lake and she asked me to marry her. Me, I mean I had hoped she had wanted to take our relationship further but I figured I’d be the one asking. I never expected this and now looking at the ring i can’t help but feel fate has stepped in, i never believed in that sort of thing. But it is odd i was thinking about asking then she goes and asks. Something must be pulling the strings for me to catch someone like River. Soon I’ll be Mrs Styxx.” Abi laughed joyfully “Mrs Styxx I like the sound of that. I know people think she’s cold but they just don’t know her. I know her and i love ever aspect of her. I know that as long as we are together nothing bad will happen, we’ll always be together. She could never lead me astray and I can’t help but feel like the rest of my life will be fantastic.”

The log ended and River just held the padd, that was the first time she had heard Abi’s voice in over a year and a half. She had forgotten how good it sounded, how so much like a song it was to River. She had forgotten her fiancés voice. what did that say about her and who she had become. She closed her eyes and replayed the log. A smile on her face, a happier smile while there was sadness there but it was gone for now, It was like River had just met up with and old friend.

The words made Revna smile as she watched River listen and the listen again. Sounds was the first memory sense to fade. Once heard again the sound would be recognized immediately but recall was hard.

“I’d forgotten how beautiful her voice was. How beautiful she was in general. the first time I saw her and she decked me in combat training, I knew she was the one.” River opened her eyes and for a moment they where not cold but warm. all of the bad memories where washed away and all the good came to the surface. In that moment a shred of who River used to be, the joking, quick witted in love with life person she was, was visible for a split second.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“I bet she has an amazing singing voice.” Something like that didn’t change. Abigail might not sing anymore, Revna didn’t know, but the quality didn’t change unless there had been some physical trauma to the voice box. Revna sat with her while she remembered and drifted in the happier memories, after a time she finally spoke. Abigail was the most important person in River’s life and Revna simply wanted to know more about her. “Did she ever sing while you played?”
Lt Edman, Counselor

River nodded “Many times. their used to be a theatre that would do talent show nights. We would enter together as a double act. Me on the piano and Abi singing. We won three times in a row” she said smiling “Then of course there was Christmas. we would invite Captain Lenox and Major Bradshaw for Christmas dinner, they would bring their wives and children. After dinner we would spend hours round my piano singing carols” She paused for a moment “Not that our COs could sing, but we never told them” she added.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Revna chuckled. “Some times it’s more about the joy in the doing than the actual product.” Revna leaned back against a chair, “But that doesn’t make it easier on our ears does it?” Revna watched River for awhile long as she looked through some more of the items. “River, I recognize that it might be too soon for you, but I’d like you to consider something. I think you should correspond with Abigail. Either a recorded message or maybe,” she paused realizing that she’d either embrace the idea or stonewall her, “you could play the piano for her. I don’t know her diagnosis or her prognosis, but I think it could help both of you.”
Lt Edman, Counselor