Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)

Posted March 25, 2021, 1:33 p.m. by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) (Nathan Derricutt)

Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)

Posted by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)

Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

“I bet she has an amazing singing voice.” Something like that didn’t change. Abigail might not sing anymore, Revna didn’t know, but the quality didn’t change unless there had been some physical trauma to the voice box. Revna sat with her while she remembered and drifted in the happier memories, after a time she finally spoke. Abigail was the most important person in River’s life and Revna simply wanted to know more about her. “Did she ever sing while you played?”
Lt Edman, Counselor

River nodded “Many times. their used to be a theatre that would do talent show nights. We would enter together as a double act. Me on the piano and Abi singing. We won three times in a row” she said smiling “Then of course there was Christmas. we would invite Captain Lenox and Major Bradshaw for Christmas dinner, they would bring their wives and children. After dinner we would spend hours round my piano singing carols” She paused for a moment “Not that our COs could sing, but we never told them” she added.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

Revna chuckled. “Some times it’s more about the joy in the doing than the actual product.” Revna leaned back against a chair, “But that doesn’t make it easier on our ears does it?” Revna watched River for awhile long as she looked through some more of the items. “River, I recognize that it might be too soon for you, but I’d like you to consider something. I think you should correspond with Abigail. Either a recorded message or maybe,” she paused realizing that she’d either embrace the idea or stonewall her, “you could play the piano for her. I don’t know her diagnosis or her prognosis, but I think it could help both of you.”
Lt Edman, Counselor

River looked Revna a flash of something running across her face was ii fear or anger or was hard to tell “She has only just learnt to read. She would struggle to read a written letter.” she snapped. then sighed “That was uncalled for sorry” she added as she stood up and went over to her computer. She typed in a few commands and picked up a padd and placed it next tot he computer after a few moments the padd beeped, River then picked it up and walked back to Revna.

Revna waved away the apology. Nothing ruffled her and it took a whole lot to offend her. It might not have been called for but it was a necessary release of the tension and heartache River was dealing with. Revna had no problem being a focus for that release.

“I don’t want to risk causing her any harm, she’s going to have a hard time as it is. My voice might trigger and adverse reaction. Read this it might help” she said handing Revan the Padd.

On the padd was Abi’s diagnosis she was categorised as having a complete mental collapse. Facilitated by months of continuing unrelenting physical and mental torture. resulting in her previous self being all but destroyed and replaced with a submissive shell. She had also been injected with a mutagen that rewired her both mentally and physically. to create a willing servant who still held all their memories and abilities. The mutagen also warped the victims personality twisting it into a brutal, merciless killing machine with complete devotion to its master. In addition there had been several new trigger implanted on her subconscious to spur on violence. These trigger focused around River.

Her prognosis was good with many of the mental triggers being removed and basic cognitive function restored. but a lot of time and energy was needed to bring her back. However she would never be the same again. She had been lucky as she was treated within three days of being infected with the mutagen. Allowing for her all be it recovery. If she had been infected for any longer there would be nothing that could be done to her as the changes would have been permanent.

Lieut Styxx (OIC Marines)

Revna took the PaDD and read over the information. It wasn’t good. Revna had seen similar reports, not exactly the same, but…well Revna had seen a lot. There were some interesting and promising studies being done, but it was far too soon to say anything and she was sure that Abigail’s doctors were doing everything they could. It was just the person Revna was to try and find solutions, to bring back those that were lost. She handed the PaDD back to River. “I’m so sorry River. Obviously I didn’t know, but I hope that ignorance hasn’t offended you. I’m in no position to offer suggestions of treatment but if you ever have questions about what they are doing, I’m happy to explain as best I can.” She looked at the trunk and back at River, letting her decide if she was done or wanted to continue.
Lt Edman, Counselor

“It ok. You’re not the only one. Star fleet sanitised as much about Acheron as they could. Can’t have star fleet looking like a military, or people realising that the first aid sent to Acheron, a Federation world, was not the federation but a joint fleet of Romulans and Klingons .” River said shaking her head “The federation is the guiding light of the galaxy and must not be seen any differently.” she said with a scoff.

Revna knew about the battle and the truth of it. That wasn’t what she had meant but at the same time what River said was true. Revna had a unique perspective having worked on a hospital ship on the edge of the fighting. She had been there at Acheron. The Centurion had been assigned to the fleet under Admiral Hayes’ command. It was brutal, not unlike all the other battles Centurion had been on the tail end of watching. But they all - Every. Last. Member of the crew had vowed to never let the battles run together. They would remember each, separately, the wounded, injured, and lost. They wouldn’t become a number. And they all watched from the windows in the bulkheads battle after battle, their frustration at the impotence mounting. Unable to join the battle and only able to watch knowing how many injured would be coming and nothing they could do to prevent it. The brass stood back and had their ‘acceptable’ statistics and it was up to the hospital ships, doctors, counselors, engineers, scientists, and the rest on board to make sure they didn’t go over those numbers. “There are some that need to believe that, but then there are those of us that know it’s not true, but we still do our best to uphold the values.”

“I used to believe that but now, after everything i did and everyone I lost. I know I was a fool. The dead are not remembered by star fleet, the memorial park is a civilian project. I guess 333‘476 people aren’t a big enough number to be remembered by star fleet. Of course if it was an admiral they would have a bloody parade. But all those people are pretty much forgotten by those they died to save.” She said coldly as she routed through the final items in Abi’s box. It was clear River believed everything she said, she was disillusioned with the federation. So some might ask why she didn’t take the Klingon up on there offer of joining the empire, and to be honest River wasn’t sure any more why she didn’t.

“Star Fleet should do more. In my village, where I grew up, there is a small hand carved stone, in the shape of a fighter, with the names of those we lost when the Breen attacked. I lost my Shauwn to that battle. There was a speech given by the Federation president, afterwards. One line, that was it, one line reminding us to not forget those that fought. They didn’t even read off the names of those that were lost. The plaque at Star Fleet Command simply mentions the battle and the date. No names.” She paused reminding herself to stay calm. “But those they fought for, we don’t forget. Those people on Acheron, they won’t forget.”

“I now know we are no better then what we where when these wore worn” she said handing the dog tags to Revna “These belonged to Abi’s ancestor who fought in world war two. War never changes, we simply find better more brutal ways of killing each other” she added.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

“I think wars were better when you had to look into the white’s of your enemies eyes and know who you were killing and why.” Revna shrugged. She’d flown a fighter ship, volunteered as soon as she knew Shauwn wasn’t coming back. She was a damn good pilot, but she wasn’t much of a fighter. She could never get past the guilt of firing on a destination without ever seeing it. “I can’t tell you what to do with all of that River, not that you are expecting me to. There are always options, but they aren’t always great options.”
Lt Edman Counselor

“Story of my life” River said as she closed the lid on Abi’s foot locker. Her hand lingering on the name “I try to remember all those I’ve killed but after a while, and after so many battles they all blur together. However I think I will never forget Acheron, I can’t remember every solider I killed but I can remember some. I also remember the officers and civilians I executed under martial law, or for there own good when they had been subjected to that go forsaken mutagen or that bloody neurotoxin” she said it was easy to remember the 9 people she executed. However the others where harder. regardless there was always one she would remember, one person she mercy killed “Back then I thought I was doing the right thing. But now I’m not so sure, at least for some of them” she added glancing at the small box with the name Lilly on.

Lieut Styxx (OIC Marines)

“I remember. Sitting with those infected by the neurotoxin, unable to help as they begged us to kill them so they wouldn’t have to live through the final stages. Others begging the doctors to use them as test subjects to find an antidote. In the end not even being able to offer a hand to hold for those taken by the mutagen. Watching them behind forcefields as it took over and they ripped themselves to pieces because they couldn’t get to us. It’s the ones who survived that haunt me the most. See for the others, as horrible as their suffering was, it’s over now. The survivors, it’s harder the pain doesn’t stop. Oh eventually there are days, even whole spans of time, that they don’t think about it, and then…” Revna tugs at her shirt collar absently, remembering, and the guilt and impotent rage at not being able to do more than be a target for some. “Some of them we couldn’t even send their personal effects home. Things they were wearing, like jewelry, rank pips, things like that. It all had to be incinerated to make sure the toxin and mutagen didn’t spread by accident. There were so many we ran out of coffin torpedos. We had to cremate them all and scatter their ashes to the stars.” In the end she and the other counseling staff had saved enough of each ashes to put in a very small urn to send back to the family, and still the deaths kept rising. The hulls of destroyed ships causing as much damage in the battle as the enemy weapons fire.

“Don’t second guess yourself, River. The decision has been made and you did the best you could in hell. What is right in the moment depends on perspective and a lot of external factors. People on the outside want to make order of the chaos that they are thankful they weren’t a part of, but they can never understand and they would never be able to do what you did. They aren’t strong enough or compassionate enough to consider making the choices you did. What Star Fleet did to you was wrong. But the Klingon, the Romulans, they live in a different type of society. They see the need and the mercy and the honor to the fallen that helped you make those choices. Star Fleet was too small minded and too scared, and too incapable to understand.”
Lt Edman, Counselor

“I had no idea you where there. Imagine we could have walked past each other and not known. Despite the size of the battle you’re the first person I’ve met in some time who was actually there.” River said a little shock in her voice. If she had known early she would have sought Revan out sooner. It felt like no one understood River no one understood exactly what she had done and gone through. Now at least there was one person.

“Tell me truthfully, when you first set foot on Acheron did you think I had done a good job? was it all worth it?” She asked a soft undertone in her voice. she didn’t know what she was looking for in Revna’s answer. Maybe some form of absolution, to finally find someone who appreciated what she did. or maybe it was just a simple as reassurance that some else saw the horrors and knew what it was like.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)

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