Posted May 13, 2021, 4:10 a.m. by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) (Nathan Derricutt)
Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)
Posted by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)
Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in Rivers quarters - ghosts of the past (Tag CNS)
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻(snip)
“So it eventually became hers, and now, you have it back to keep giving you luck.” She shook her head. “You know it’s really a shame that there are so many…misconceptions. Marines and Star Fleet are two branches of the Federation military service, but yet there is no…” Revna stopped and considered, “It’s a shame there is so much friction, that it’s not easier to work together, to work side by side.” She sighed, maybe a slight huff. “Sorry, you know all this already, but it drives me crazy. There is no point to it other than ego.” She shook her head, “Ignore me. A personal irritation of mine. Let’s talk about Lilly instead. What did she do when she realized you weren’t there to ‘arrest’ her?”
Lt Edman, counselor“No worries. It is hard. On a planet it far easier. the problem is the federation brought marines back during war, and now we are not at war, they don’t know what to do with us. Its not like you can just drop a marine into the security department and vice versa. Marines have a very different kind of training.” River said simply
“When i came for Lily not a lot happened the first time. we talked and that was it. But then over the weeks I would come visit her once a week. Then it was twice a week then it was every other day and so on, and so on. It took a while for her to feel comfortable around me, and it was hard for me as well. I have never really dealt with kids before that. But i think it helped that we came from the same background, both of us were orphans.” She said pausing for a moment and thinking “It seemed after I told her that we bounded quicker. I think she was happy to find someone who understood her.” she said remembering fondly.
“Children need someone that understands them. My sister could talk you to death for hours about it. I could go into the psychology of it, but it comes down to children need to feel understood, accepted, and safe. And all those add up to feeling loved. You were both lucky to find each other. We talk a lot about children needing someone but I think we adults need them just as much.”
“Then she asked me if had a boyfriend.” River paused and chuckled “I can’t tell you how hard it was trying to explain to Lilly that I wasn’t into guys. She was shocked, I think some of the other kids had told her it was bad or unnatural. Of course i set her right. I said you can’t help who you fall for” she added.
Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)
Revna shook her head. “That’s the truth. The heart wants what it wants.” Revna’s own heart ached slightly. Even when that person was long gone, sometimes you still ached for them. She shook her head mentally. Nothing was brining Shauwn back and at this point she wasn’t honoring his memory anymore. But self analysis would have to wait for later. “You know such pairings are found in nature among sentient and animal species across the galaxy. There is nothing bad or unnatural about it. Survival requires certain things, but living, really living requires that are often at odds with basic survival. And it’s beautiful.” Revna placed the coin next to the small figurines. “What else is there?”
Lt Edman, CounselorRiver fished around for a few seconds then pulled out some folded card. “There’s this” she said as she unfolded it to it full A1 size. It was some sort of project poster. On the top where the words bring your parent to school day, in purple writing. Underneath where various pictures and drawings. In the right hand corner under the heading was a list of attributes. Name: River Styxx, Job: Marine Sargent, Marine number: Z74195. Then it listed why River was Lily’s choice. ‘River is a marine, she is a soldier for the federation. She spends most of her time training and keeping everyone safe. She like me, grew up in an orphanage and made a place for herself. She inspires me everyday and when I grow up I hope I can be as cool as her. The pictures covered many different things, one had river in her armour, another had her and Abi at a talent show, there was a drawing of the reaper that was on Rivers armour. Others where of a beautiful park at sunset and various other places.
Revna looked at the pictures and words. It was obvious how Lily felt about River and Abi. It was a beautiful tribute for River to keep of their family. “It’s obvious she loved you very much. You had an impact on her.”
“Lily didn’t have parents so she asked her teacher if i could be her project and he said yes. So she spent a week following me around where ever she could. obviously some places she couldn’t go. Then she told me had to come to school while she did her presentation. I managed to convince my CO to let me go in my armour” River said chuckling “The kids thought I was some sort of war robot. They said I was cool and a lot of them thought I was some sort of superhero. I wasn’t and I’m not. I just do my job. Have you ever been the subject of a kids study? its a stressful but also hilarious experience” she added
Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)
“I bet they loved seeing your uniform. Kids need to see stuff like that first hand. I’m glad your CO agreed.” Revna shook her head. “No I have not been, but it’s a good idea to pass on to my sister. Let the kids follow around the senior staff for a couple days.” There were a few of the senior staff that she would get a kick out of watching with curious kids that ask strange questions. But as for super heroes. “Kids need heroes River. And maybe you don’t feel like one, but in the end a hero is just someone who did their job even when others ran away.” She looked at the poster again, “We should frame it and hang it up to honor all the things Lily loved.”
Lt Edman, CounselorRiver laughed “I think some of the senior staff would like it but others, we might end up having kids crying in corridors because they got locked out of someone office” she said. it would be amusing to see how the senior staff reacted. Then she paused and scratched the back of her head “Listen counsellor, Doctor, Revna. Its a great idea but if its framed it might get damaged or misplaced. Wouldn’t it be safer kept in the box?” River said unsurely she was mostly genuine she didn’t want it to get danged but also seeing it everyday would be hard for a while. The handwriting was one of the last physical personal reminder of Lily and if t reminded her of Lily it would reminder of what River did what she became.
She knew Revna would see right through her it was a good idea. It was just River’s Nervousness and Rivers uncertainty that was stopping her from doing it.
Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)
“We are a deep space vessel equipped to sustain and support families. It’s part of the job descirption.” Revna shrugged, the staff, senior of otherwise should be prepared to support all members of the crew, adult and child. She listened to River and nodded. “Of course, if you think it’s safer there. I was just thinking that protective glare proof glass would protect the colors and writing from fading and in a frame it couldn’t get ripped, folded, torn, pieces fall off. You wouldn’t have to put it up. But it’s part of the box, so perhaps it is best to leave it there.” It had already been a hard day for River, there was no need to push it further. Eventually she would want to look at these things every day, and when she was ready, Revna would help her.
Lt Edman, counselorRiver sighed “No you’re right Doc” She said Doc. when was the last time I used that. Have I regressed now she thought “It would be safer, I think I’m just scared what looking at it everyday would do to me. I Think of enough empty chairs at empty tables now. Having so many reminders all of a sudden” she paused “I guess I’m worried I’d start asking what their sacrifice was for. Then I’d doubt myself, and I’ve spent enough time doing that. Maybe it survivors guilt or maybe I’m just a coward. I don’t know” she said simply.
Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)
“Survivor’s guilt is a very real thing and it’s a very powerful enemy. And you are not a coward for saying that you aren’t ready to see it every day. So why don’t we plan on this. We’ll from Lilly’s poster. We’ll get a bigger box, wooden, carved, beautiful, and put Abby and Lilly’s things inside. We’ll line the smaller box in velvet to put the figures in and when you want you can open the big box and look at their things, and when you don’t want to or it’s too hard they can stay inside. But they will be safe a protected.”
Lt Edman, counselor
River nodded “Sounds like a plan.” she said “I wish i had your clarity when it came to things like this.” she added. The she paused for a moment and thought.
“I’ve spent my whole life training to control fear. I can stare down an army i can fight a lost cause. Yet when it comes to myself and my past, aside form sadness the next biggest emotion is fear. I’m not the first person or the last to have a awful past and yet it feels like I’m the only one.” she said shaking her head.
Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)
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