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Side sim- River's office- What are we to our reflections

Posted June 9, 2022, 3:30 p.m. by Lieutenant River Styxx (OIC Marine) (Nathan Derricutt)

What was in a mirror. Was it a window into the soul and a reflection of the present or was it the home of the past, a place to look back and think. For River it was a window to someone she no longer recognised. Who was that person she saw before her. Maybe it was a ghost.

In truth River had no idea what was Happening to her she used to be cold and hard, unswayed by anything and never phased by anything. Now 18 months later she was soft and prone to out bursts. The briefing had proved that. Maybe it was the time she had spent in the luxury of ship. Warm food, comfy beds and hardly any threat of death. Maybe it was opening those boxes after so long or maybe it was just that dam letter. All these things had happen close to each other at the worst possible moment, a perfect storm of emotion. Dam emotion why did it have to be so powerful, why couldn’t she just turn them off like she used to be able to do. Why did they have to hit her hard and so quickly.

Why was she so weak to let them in, to let them control her. She had lost men before hundreds of thousands of them. Why where these five weighing on her mind so much. Why did she let them, why did she have to be so dam soft. Without thinking River’s fist shot out smashing into the till by her sink. The pristine white mixed with a trickle of red. Regarding her hand she winced and washed the blood away. The sudden outbursts and rush of pain helped for a moment but soon the emotions where back.

Sighing River left her bathroom and walked the empty rooms of her quarters. Peering at the trinkets and memories stored on the walls within. The memories of someone else someone River didn’t recognise much any more. Her eyes landed on the case of medals all federation except for two one was Klingon the other was Romulan. * was it worth it. Was the cost worth the pay off * River thought to herself * No. Not then. Not Now * Again in the reflection of the glass River saw someone another version of herself, another ghost. Pulling herself away river sat behind her desk. Picking up the old photo that sat there.

She saw the faces and placed her hand on each of them. A happy family, a loving family. “What would you think of me now? Of what I’ve become? I wish I had you both here now to give me your strength. Maybe then I wouldn’t be so weak, so open to emotion.” She said sadness in her voice. Shaking her head she turned to her computer. As soon as she did she saw the letter and wiped her eyes. It read

Dear Lieutenant Styxx

I am writing to you today to inform you that we have begun the exhumation of the mass grave behind the remains of the star fleet base of operations. I understand this news my distress you and I know what I am to ask you next is equally hard.

I must ask for your permission to exhume the remains of Lily Styxx. Though she was not your biological daughter. The records show that her adoption was finalised the day the attack started. As a result you are her sole close relative and it is your permission we need. She will be treated with the utmost care and respect and we will make sure she is put to rest properly.

Please forward your reply as soon as possible

Regards

Lieutenant Richard Dresden

Chief medical officer Acheron
River had no words and she had no more strength to fight the tears that fell. She quickly wrote her reply and moved on. Taking a moment to grab a drink of water and to take a breather. Once she had battled the tears back down she returned to the computer.

“Computer begin dictation of Apology letters” she said shaking. As she spoke she watched her reflection in the window. It was going to be a long night.

Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)


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