Side Sim - A Much Needed Vacay

Posted March 27, 2023, 8:01 a.m. by Lieutenant Cara Esmé O’Farrell (Counselor / Education Specialist) (Jennifer Ward)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Gravel Mardusk (Chief of Security) in Side Sim - A Much Needed Vacay

Posted by Lieutenant Cara Esmé O’Farrell (Counselor / Education Specialist) in Side Sim - A Much Needed Vacay

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Gravel Mardusk (Chief of Security) in Side Sim - A Much Needed Vacay
Posted by… suppressed (6) by the Post Ghost! 👻

The area should have started looking familiar, Cara had spent a lot of time there. Soon the cab pulled up in front of a riotous conglomeration of neon lights and the sound of loud music coming from inside:

Mike’s Place San Francisco.

The bar was the lower level and basement of an old four story warehouse building. A row of windows showcased the interior of the upper floor: bar, tables, a few booths, and a crowd of people. The lower level was the stage and music venue, also with its own bar. Gravel climbed out and held his hand out to Cara, grinning.


“Hell Yeah!” Cara may or may not have used his hand to propel herself as she bounded out of the car. Cara kissed him making him either have to bend down or pick her up, and in such a way it drew attention.

“NO! Absolutely not. I know that hair. It haunts my nightmares! Cara O’Farrell get your hands, lips, and eyes, and everything else off that man. You are going to cause a riot before you ever have a drink.”

Cara looked up at Gravel, every inch of her eicked and mischievous. She turned to look at the bouncer who had taken on a very serious stance and a look that prayed he wouldn’t die. “Aw now Kjoiv, he brought me here. I haven’t started anythin’.” She brushed her hair over her shoulder. “Besides it’s a punk bar, there is gonna be riots.”

The man shook his head, “By the stage! Not in the parking lot because of…of well you.” He laughed, “I thought you left Earth.”

“I did. I’m in vacation.” The look in Kjoiv’s face made her laugh. “I swear we are havin’ a good night.”

“Then I just made it great.”

“You will pay for all damages caused because of you.” Then he looked up at Gravel.


Gravel stuck out a hand. “Good ta see ya. Been a bit.” Kjoiv shook it and said “Really? She’s with you?” Mardusk laughed and said “Oh hell no… I’m with her. I’m the brains. She’s the muscle.” and the big half-Klingon laughed. “Of that I have no doubt. Good to see you.” and he looked down at Cara. “Keep. It. Civil.” and he smiled a half smile.

“I am always civil. People love me.” He growers at her, “That’s the problem.” He held the door open with a muttered ‘Good luck’ to Gravel. Cara laughed the whole way to the bar.

Gravel led her in and made a beeline for the bar. There, as in every one of Mike McKenzie’s bars, was a large stool with a simple brass plaque on the bar in front of it: ‘Reserved’. Gravel walked to the stool, picked Cara up and set her on the stool next to him, and then sat down.

“Seat’s taken!” barked a voice from behind the bar and a Tellerite head poked up and then grinned. “Mardusk! You’re here!” and the the squinty porcine eyes caught the red hair and they said “Aw, sh!+. Its you.”


“Tugm!” Cara cackled. This was fun. She grabbed ahold of him and pulled him half way across the bar top and left a friendly kiss on his cheek. “I missed ya!” Which made the man sputter and glower and curse. “Well I have NOT missed you she-devil! Off with you! The bar still has gouges in it.” He looked at Gravel, “Keep away from her. She’s trouble. I know she gorgeous be she is not worth it.”

“Awww Tugm, ya DID miss me.”


Gravel just shrugged and said “Well, we will have to see about that, now won’t we?” He leaned over the bar, grabbed a pitcher, and put it under the tap in front of his stool. As the amber liquid began to flow, a recognizable voice said “And just how did I know you two would end up here?” and Serchena walked up and smiled at Gravel and gave Cara a half-hug. She looked at Tugm and said “Hey. The usual.” Tugm sighed heavily and said “You too? The gods hate me.” and he turned and began making drinks.


“They do not. They sent us ‘cause they know how much ya love ta complain. They are just givin’ ya what will make ya happy.” She grinned at Serchena and winked. “Tugm ya better give me the good Iriah whiskey. Ya know what happened the last time ya tried ta give me water on the rocks.” His squinty little eyes went wife. “Yeah…ya I had to buy 10 new chairs for the bar cause of you.”

“I did no break those.” Cara laughed as he poured her drink and tried to decide if he would give it to her. “Damn I need more bouncers in here tonight.” He looked from Cara to Serchena to Gravel. “You are responsible for these two.” He set the dri ks on the bar and walked to the other end, wiping the bar as he went.


“The f~<k I am.” Gravel said and lifted the pitcher and took a drink. “Besides… I’m on vacation.”

And then it began.

The first to try their luck were three cadets from the Academy. One human and two Rigellians. The human slid up to the bar and smiled at Cara and Serchena. “How would you ladies like me to buy you a drink or three?” and he flashed pearly white teeth at them. Serchena smiled back and looked at Cara. “Hmmm… what do you think? Think we should let these fine Star Fleet specimens ply us with alcohol?” Gravel snorted and mumbled just loudly enough for the three cadets to hear. “Oh… you boys really need to not do that. Not a threat, now… but those two are more crazy than you are looking for, I think.” One Rigellian looked at him and said “Thanks, bud. But I think we have this. We are Star Fleet, after all.” The other smirked and then put himself between Gravel and Cara so the two women were between him and his human friend. “So how about that drink, beautiful?” he asked Cara and Serchena. Serchena smiled and said “Admiral.” The three cadets looked confused for a moment and then she said “You asked wrong. You should have said ‘So how about thst drink, Admiral?’ Technically, you should have also added ‘Lieutenant’ to the question you asked of my friend here. Oh, and it should have been ‘But I think we have this, Commander.” and she smiled a brilliant bit wholly predatory smile at them.

Gravel didn’t look away from straight ahead, but just said “Told ya.”


Cara looked at Serchena and then back to the human was still leaning in with that stupid not yet an adult swagger that alwas irritated Cara. “Naw, Admiral, these fish are ta young.” She looked the three over, “2nd year cadets.” She turned to the one between her and Gravel. He exchanged a look with his friends, they weren’t wearing their rank pips so how did she know? “Oh dear boy, ya see first years, they’re ta scared ta come out, third years know better than ta try and mingle with the crazies. That’s ‘cause they were second years like ya’ll and learned. So keep yer stipend.” Then she grinned at him and leaned it and dropped her voice, “But I’m gonna do ya a favor. I’m gonna laugh like ya are the funniest man I ever met. No no donna look at her, that young lady in the window seat. That’s what she wants. Yes it is more than obvious she broke yer heart and ya are hung up on her. Stop lookin’ like a lost puppy. I’m gonna laugh, buy ya and yer friends a beer, and yer gonna walk away. You are gonna never look at her again. Finish yer beers, and stop tryin’ to heal yer heart ache on the attention of a one night stand. Yer Star Fleet, yer better than that.”

She laughed loudly, with full amusement, which got attention. “Tugm! Three beers for my friends here.” She looked at the young cadet, “Go on now and…” she leaned in and with deadly intent, “never again get between me and him. Understood Cadet?” He swallowed, nodded, took his beer and left.


Tugm looked at Gravel after the three left and said “And so it begins…” Gravel just nodded silently and drank his beer. Serchena laughed and looked at Cara. “Well done! I am suitably impressed. Now make that big green beer guzzler buy us dinner!” and she laughed again.


Cara shrugged, “Tha’ impressed you? That was easy.” She lifted her glass to her lips. “Well I suppose if ya wanta eat you’ll have ta ask him ta order. See at Mike’s Place only the most exclusive patrons get ta order food. I long since lost that privilege.”

“You stay too long when you eat, O’Farrell. I’m not serving you food,” Tugm grunted.

An distinguished looking Cardassian, by the name of Boska, who was sitting at a table near the bar, stood with a chuckle and walked over, on the other side of Serchena. He wore dark slacks and a hunter green shirt. The collar of his shirt was close to the neck but wide on the shoulders in order to show off his neck ridges, and he had the cuffs rolled up almost to his elbows. Despite the more formal tone of his attire he seemed to fit in the punk bar. He set his empty glass on the bar and Tugm took it. “If you will excuse the intrusion, Admiral, but if your,” he paused considering the massive male Orion. Boska could hold his own in a fight, but he really didn’t think he wanted to tangle with someone who had a permanent reserved seat at the bar. A permanent one that until that night Boska in his 4 years coming to this establishment had never seen anyone sit there. He picked up the smokey glass Tugm set on the bar top. “If your companion doesn’t want to order for you, it would be my distinguished pleasure to do so.” Cara smirked at Serchena, this one was all hers.


Gravel looked at Tugm and said “Do they ever learn?” Tugm looked at Gravel and said “No, not really.” He looked at Serchena and said “Admiral Mardusk, Saed Boska.” Boska smiled a brilliant smile and Serchena said “Saed Boska. Cardassian Embassy. Attaché for Cultural and Artistic Exchange.” She turned to Gravel and said “Refresh my memory. What is that code for?” Gravel took a drink, still looking straight ahead. “Spy.” he said firmly enough to convey his thought on that particular profession. “Right. Spy.” and then she turned away from the bar and yelled “Hey everybody! This guy’s a spy!” loud enough more than one conversation stopped and people looked at Boska. The Cardassian’s jaw set and he started to say something, but Gravel in mid drink held up a finger. He finished off the pitcher and looked at rhe Cardassian. “Before you say what you are about to, keep in mind that she is my mother.” Boska mouth remained open slightly as the wheels turned and then he said “My apologies. Good evening, Admiral.” Serchena giggled as he walked out the door and Tugm said “Great. He was a really good tipper. Thanks Admiral. A lot.”


Cara shook her head. At least she couldn’t be blamed for that one. “He’ll be back. Maybe just no this week.” Cara lifted her glass, scanning the room, and suddenly set the glass down without drinking. “Thick Pups,” Cara growled out under her breath and spun off the stool. She made a bee-line to intercept the three cadets before they hit the door. She turned one around physically by the shoulders and then tucked her hands into the elbows of the other two and walked them all back to the table where they sat. Cara turned the chair around and straddled it, crossing her arms over the back. She sat there for several minutes with them. She took her combadge out and spoke into it; then Cara stood. She placed a hand on the human’s shoulder and then headed back to the bar.

Tugm cursed, “khrught. And that is why I can’t ban her permanently. Pain in my....” his voice trailed off as he stepped into the back. Cara slid back onto the stool and tossed back half her drink. “Academy should really focus more on reality instead a fillin’ their heads with heroics.”


Gravel looked at her for a sec and said “Do I really wanna know?”

“Probably no’. They decided they were goin’ ta redeem themselves and go spy on the spy.” Cara’s tone made it quite clear what she thought of that idea. “I summoned. Them a ride from Academy security.”

Tugm came out of the back and set two baskets of fried cheese in front of them. “Burgers’ll be out in a few minutes.” and he refilled Gravel’s pitcher.


Cara looked at the fried cheese and shook her head. “How can ya be hungry?” She laughed and shook her head. She looked at Serchena, “Who do ya think is next?”


Next was a surprise…

A few minutes later a large tray was brought out and seven double cheeseburgers with fries and onion rings were set on the bar; one in front of Cara, one in front of Serchena, and five in front of Gravel. The big Orion grinned and grabbed one, lifting it easily in one hand to take a bite. As he did, a pair of very attractive young women walked up and smiled at him, seemingly ignoring Cara and Serchena.

“Hey. I’m Kimberly, and this is Madison. We were wondering if we could ask you a question?” Gravel didn’t turn, didn’t look, just said around the bite in his mouth “I’m eating.” The two moved a little closer and Madison said “It’s just a simple yes or no queation…” and giggled.

Cara looked at Serchena with a, ‘they are seriously going to do this,’ look and a whole lot of exasperation rather than disbelief.

Gravel sighed, swallowed, and said “If I answer you, will you go away and let me eat?” Both girls giggled and nodded emphatically. Gravel set the burger down and turned to face them. “Fine. What is it?” Kimberly leaned in and said “We have a bet with our girlfriends over there.” and she indicated a large table of about ten women. “We are betting that… well… we want to know if everything is…” and she glanced down for a long moment, “… is everything proportional?” and she and Madison started to giggle. Gravel grinned and just said “I dunno. Why don’t ya ask my girl? She’s rhe one standing behind ya trying to figure out if kicking your asses will mean I don’t get to finish my dinner.” and he turned and went back to eating.


They turned and blinked at the redhaired woman that was uncomfortably close. Cara smiled, and it made her look more feral than civilized. “Now, I’m no goin’ ta answer yer question ya crass immature chips. First I’m goin’ ta give ya a small exoanatomy lesson. He is typical of an Orion male,” Gravel was not but the gutls didn’t need ta know that, “Orion females,” she jeeked a thumb at Seechena, “Are on average ta human females. And that lady is his mother. Second if ya think that mama bears are protective, ya ain’t seen nothin’. Lastly, and most important,” Cara stared down both girls till they squirmed where they stood, “ya ate goin’ ta apologize ta him, to her and then walk away and NEVER do anythin’ like this again.”

“You can’t make us. It’s just a question, he agree…” Kimberly tried to look like she knew what she was saying.

Cara put a finger over her mouth. “See what ya have done is called sexual harrassment, and it’s illegal. Mike’s has security better than most star ships so we got evidence of what ya have done. I will be at the trial and I will make sure ya get maximum penalty. And ya cane spend ya wedding night starin’ at yer groom through a force field. Then when ya get out, you’ll have a new label- sexual preditor.”

Maddison leaned in, a little more bravado than her friend. “Who do you think you are?”

Cara leaned in and whispered very quietly, their faces going from shock to sickly white. Cara stood up straight, “I know who I am.”

Both women nodded several times then looked at Gravel, “We are very sorry. That was totally inappropriate, and we wouldn’t like it if someone asked us a question like that. We shouldn’t have done that. We are sorry.” They swallowed and looked at Seechena, “We are sorry, ma’am.” Ans they hurried away. “And make sure ya tip Tugm more than yer bill!”


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