The Atlantis lounge was the hub of social gatherings. A place to meet old friends, make new ones and catch up with the days gossip. But even in such a place there was still an air of uneasiness. The Atlantis, it’s crew and the civilians aboard had all gone through a lot in the past few days. For some the experience had taught them to live life more then they have had because you never knew what was coming next, for others it cast a shadow of fear over their waking hours and haunted them in their dreams and for many it destabilized the trust they had in the galaxy.
When you looked at people although they may be smiling their eyes betrayed their true feelings. Many eyes where dark, some where red form tears and others had gained bags. The physical symptoms of there emotional state.
For River her eyes where tired and dark. She had spent much of the past few days writing reports, talking to the brass, seeing to her wounded and trying to come up with plans to make things safer. Many had told her to get some sleep but when she slept it was the worst. Flashes of her past brought to the surface in an effort to stop those who would harm others. Murmurings on her mind of doubt, doubt at her ability to control herself, doubt at if she fitted in anymore, doubt in her ability to keep those around her safe. She had acted irrationally and emotionally. letting her anger get the best of her and it made her look like a monster, and in many respect for those moments she had become a monster.
Her superiors had chewed her out about excessive force, and she agreed with them. They had told her that she had done well, but River doubted that, how could she have done well when so many had been hurt in so many ways. Her captain, her marines and the countless civilians who had been caught in the crossfire. That was not a job well done, that was failure. Her failure.
The only thing she had achieved was essentially orphaning a child, making herself look like a monster in front of the senior staff and letting her emotions get the better of her. That was all she could think of, sitting here nursing the same glass of whiskey she had been for the past hour. How she could fix the issues she had caused and how she could keep other’s safe in the future. Those answers she couldn’t find and she needed to.
Lieut Styxx (Marine OIC)
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