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Counselor’s Officer - Counseling Check-In, long time no see

Posted Aug. 17, 2020, 2:49 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Kai Oliver Kingstone (Chief Science Officer) (Jay Luistro)

Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in Counselor’s Officer - Counseling Check-In, long time no see

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Kai Oliver Kingstone (Chief Science Officer) in Counselor’s Officer - Counseling Check-In, long time no see

Posted by Lieutenant Revna Edman (Counselor) in Counselor’s Officer - Counseling Check-In, long time no see
Posted by… suppressed (8) by the Post Ghost! 👻
<snip>

Revna nodded slowly, took a sip of her drink. “If you would like to share it, yes I will read it. Or if you’d rather tell me yourself you can do that too. Or maybe,” she looked to see how Lt. Kingstone was doing, “there are only certain things in your diary you want to share now. It’s important for you to understand that you are free to share as much or as little as you like. If you would like me to read the diary I will and then we can meet again to talk about it.”

Lt. Edman, Counselor

Kai took a PaDD from nowhere… I mean where did it appeared? But anyway, taking the “PaDD”, the CSO tapped some buttons, then submitted a request and the LCARS server did its fuzzy things. The diary in reality was written on paper but Kai loved keeping stuff backed-up and indeed some scanned formats were saved in his personal database “Here… you may give a look to everything. I mean I am not shy… except for some part like page 237 and 299. OH and page 255 especially!” He nervously chuckled.

OOC: I do not have the diary written somewhere but you can assume it has plenty of happy and weird stuff. But from the last 30 days, his pages are filled with stress-signals.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

Revna brought Kai a refill of his drink, then she took the PaDD. She quietly reads through the journal. She keeps her face neutral except for one or two parts that were obviously meant to be comical, and her mouth twitches slightly. Then she gets to the last thirty days worth of entries. These are much different than the laid back happy Lt from before. He’s obviously stresssed. The pages don’t indicate what may have triggered it.

Lt. Kingstone was there for help, he’d said so himself, but Revna didn’t like to impart false trust. She wanted to earn it, but she also didn’t want to stand on rank either. So no first names and no rank, rather an up front approach. “What happened 30 days ago?” She taps the PaDD with one finger. “Your entries changed and your tone of your writing did as well. What happened?”

Lt. Edman, Counselor

“Nothing. I guess yes something but nothing? Got some terrible news about my aunt who got injured during a terroristic attack where she worked. Since then I found working harder but I mean… I managed to do everything. Not even the experiments kept me thinking about my aunt. In the end she recovered but I do have memories of something that happened to me when I was younger and I always feared something like that could happen to my relatives. I think that might be the why.” The Lieutenant then shrugged “oh and thanks for the refill. If you want you can read those pages I said to avoid… you may want to have a laugh ahah. Not really good with women, that’s why dogs are better… I guess?” He smiled and took a brief sip of the drink. It has passed a while since he talked with a Counselor but the effects were pretty much immediate “Okay, maybe not day 255… it is too embarrassing, mate.” He blushed red pepper.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

“I’ll only read them if you want me to. That is always up to you.” Revna contemplated. “Have you ever talked with anyone, professionally, about what happened to you when you were younger? It is very normal for events that happen to others to remind us of our own significant events. It can trigger not just the memories but the emotions as well. Since you like to utilize writing on a daily basis I would suggest when you begin to think about your aunt or what happened to you, you write out what you are thinking and feeling. It helps to distance you from the effects of the flasback and it allows you to go back and analyse what you were thinking and feeling at the time.”

Lt. Edman, Counselor

“I honestly never did such thing. I think I’ll do some writing for that and geez it will hard. It is just terrible, I lost some awesome people that never had the chance to grow up and maybe join me in this mighty endeavor which is Starfleet. Let me tell you it wasn’t at all a beautiful experience. It was terrifying…” Kai kept drinking and drinking more. He was certainly nervous in that moment and as he laid down the glass on the table, the Lieutenant had almost some tears in his eyes. The incident happened his birthday party had him regretting to enjoy another party whatsoever in his life and indeed he haven’t done one in years “Mrs. Edman have someone told you that you’re a fantastic counselor?” He chuckled giggling a bit. It was perhaps just a way to distract from the real pain.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

Revna could see that he was becoming agitated, upset, by what he was remembering. She ignored the compliment for a moment though she smiled softly. He’d just taken several sips of his drink, this was good time to practice grounding, to help him process his own thoughts and feelings, to stop the fight or flight response. “Kai, tell me something you are tasting right now.” To help him she pointed at his glass.

Kai took a breath and then he took note of the taste he had on his tongue “I feel the bitter of the Chinotto orange and the sweetness of the drink sugar, all mixed in what it is this soft drink.”

“Now tell me 2 scents you can smell right now.”

Smelling deep, Kai noticed the fresh smell of the Counselor and the office “I smell you, and the office itself have a particular scent. I like it, both of them.” He smiled

“3 things you can feel, physically through touch.”

“I can feel the sofa, my rough skin and also the slippery glass in my hand. I feel them all more concretely and so… real. Tho I would need to use some sort of cream to get a smother skin.”

“Now, name 4 things you can hear within this room or within yourself.”

The Lieutenant closed his eyes, then his mouth. For a couple of seconds he tasted with his ears the environment and the ship itself. It was a gorgeous apparatus “I hear my voice, the ship’s soft rumble, the crew outside the office and a constant clock tick. I don’t know where it comes from but I hear it. It is so soothing.”

“And finally 5 things you can see.”

“I see the colors of the office, your face and the decorations. I also see my PaDD and finally my laps.” He smiled again.

Revna waited for him to finish. “Do you feel better? Do you want to do that again, or do you want to talk about your memory?”

Lt. Edman, Counselor

“I do feel better, thank you Mrs. Edman. I am ready to talk about what happened… I would just love a glass of water, If I may.” He asked to the Counselor gently. His mood was now chiller, the exercise worked perfectly! He should’ve done it more often.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

Revna got up and requested a glass of water, cool for the Lt from the replicator and then she brought it over and handed it to him. She sat down and waited. Kai seemed to have taken to the exercise, and that was good, but that didn’t mean he was ready to explode with information about his past. He had to find his starting point, where he thought it all began, or at least where the story should start.
Lt. Edman, Counselor

“Water. The most basic element, yet it is the best resource ever existed. Ahah…” he nervously giggled, sipping some of the water “Alright. I do remember stuff and some I have deleted can’t be recovered. But what I do remember is that there was this day in my childhood where I gave a party. I remember still the faces of all invitees, they were all my bestfriends onboard my father’s ship. At that time we got the best room, on the Starboard flank of the fantastic USS Hegemony. I really loved that ship but as I gave that party we contemporarily entered a pirate-known zone and it was matter of hours that on us three ships tried to board the Hegemony.” Kai took a pause, drank another sip and as some tear came on his eyes, he stared the still water in the glass in his hand and he sighed “We knew what to do, but we had not time to reach the muster stations. A disruptor charge hit our lounge and a rapid decompression happened. Some of my friends laid in the cold space suffocating, while I had the damn luck to survive as I was the nearest to the door and had a strong grip. Eventually an Officer managed to activate the emergency force field but the damage was already done. Three of them were flying out there while I and the others remained traumatized or lightly injured. I must admit it was a pain to give up to birthday parties but I haven’t… I haven’t done any in the last 12 years…” at that point he could not resist anymore and his tears became a flood, a cry that was perhaps painful.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

Revna listened quietly as Kai’s story slowly came out. To be a young child and loose your friends that way, would have broken strong adults prepared for such things. To be a child and move on past it was a remarkable testimony to his strength of character. Revna moved softly to a chair closer to Kai, but not within his space. She reached over and took the glass from him and put it on the table near him, and then she took his hand. She didn’t say anything, she let him release it, and held onto his hand so he would know he was not alone. He had said something similar had happened to his aunt, but she was okay. And she was sure the ships current predicament with the pirates was probably adding to Kai’s stress as well.
Lt. Edman, Counselor

Kai pulled over the hand of the Counselor and hugged her as it was his usual and found it a ‘normal’ action “Thanks, Mrs. Edman, it was tough but hell I fell lighter.” He nodded behind the hug “I know she (His Aunt) is fine but many have perished. I can only imagine her discomfort and fear in that situation…” ending the phrase Kai left the hand, and immediately realized that his habit kicked in. Blushing somewhat a reddish pepper he cleaned his eyes and leant apologies “I’m sorry… really!” He chuckled to lighten everything.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

Revna returned Kai’s hug because sometimes silence and space was needed, but other times knowing you aren’t alone and people care was more important. “You don’t have to thank me Mr. Kingstone.” She choose to address him the way he did her, allowing him to direct his comfort level. “Have you been able to speak with her? I know right now, we are in a unique situation, but if you haven’t I would suggest you call her as soon as we are able. In the mean time, why don’t you write your aunt some letters, and tell her about how you feel, your experiences, and how you feel about her and her situation. You can send it when we get back to where we should be.” She reaches over and hands him the glass of water again. She moves over to the replicator and returns setting down a damp cloth near him, if he wants it. “No apologies here. In here, it is acceptable to express your feelings, whatever they may be.” She smiles at his laughter. But waits quietly for him to determine how he wants to move forward.
Lt. Edman, counselor

Enjoying the warmth of the hug, Kai stayed silent as he felt almost like hugged by his mom as he used to do as a Kid. Then noticing the cloth he looked a second at it and decided that it was ok to show some pain to the people and indeed put on his legs “Yes I have contacted her… She repeatedly told me she was fine and everything but I don’t feel like I have ever asked her the right amount. Since that attack I have called her all weekends and so far she is still being patient.” He giggled looking at his feet “I am really paranoic… tsk”

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

“Well then, as far as your aunt goes, the only thing you can do is keep asking and listen. When she’s ready she’ll tell you. And she may not. Everyone has different ways of dealing with trauma. The best we can do is listen and be present when we are with them.” Revna considered his last statement. “I don’t think you’re paranoid, Kai. I think you are cautious and evaluate your current experiences based on your past. And that’s all anyone can do.”

“The best we can do…” Kai whispered to agree with the counselor “Ugh… if you think I am not paranoid then I should listen to you, Miss Edman.” The Lieutenant faked a smile “I just- I just feel misplaced and stuff that’s it. I guess.”

“Why do you feel you are paranoid, Kai?” Revna saw the fake smile and felt like there was something more there than Kai was telling her. “Why do you feel misplaced?”

“Now, let’s go back to that grounding exercise. Now that we have moved past it a little ways, how do you feel about it? Do you still think it helped you, or should we try something different?”
Lt. Edman, Counselor

“I think it helped, somehow.” Kai shrugged his shoulders thinking about how he felt in that moment “but there’s still something that does not convince me. I mean my aunt never told me yet about this from her perspective but does not me allow to physically comfort her either. I feel like in a limbo, Counselor. It is just so hard to believe she refuses every kind of comfort.” The CSO was usually seen as a strong man in character, but sometimes even the best walls falls down. Now he tried to be reconstructed but knew that if things were not settling between him and his aunt, he would have passed a long period with the Counselor.

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO

Revna took a breath and considered. She felt that Kai needed to comfort his aunt for himself and not necessarily for her. She had no doubt he loved and cared for his aunt very much. “I know you want to comfort her, but perhaps she’s not ready, or perhaps because she is your aunt, she sees herself as your elder as a second parent, she can’t bring herself to put this on you, because she cared for you. But when someone else experiences a trauma similar to our own we must allow them to cope in their way not in ours. When you were a child, you needed to share your story and receive physical comfort. Your aunt may not find it comforting or helpful to talk about and be physically comforted. Forcing someone to cope with their trauma in our way can make their trauma worse. We have to love them enough to let them heal their way, not our own.”
Lt. Edman, Counselor

We have to love them enough to let them heal their way the phrase stuck in Kai’s head. For some moments the CSO stayed silent and indeed he looked at his hands almost like recalling something “I totally forgot this side of the events. You’re right counselor.” He sighed closing his eyes “You’re totally right. She was like a second mother to me as mine was always busy with Starfleet. Nothing wrong there, she loved me as my aunt did. But I feel like an equivalent connection and it is in my nature to feel empathy. Ugh, I should sometimes remember that pressing isn’t always the way… What I can do then?” Crossing his arms Kai was a bit lost about what was his role there “I know I mustn’t comfort her but… I can do something else? To help her?”

Lieutenant Jr. grade Kai O. Kingstone - CSO


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