Posted by Crewman Octavia Raain (Medical Student) in Speaking with two minds - Physciatric Check In

Posted by Ensign Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Psychiatrist) in Speaking with two minds - Physciatric Check In

Posted by Crewman Octavia Raain (Medical Student) in Speaking with two minds - Physciatric Check In
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻
After finally being allowed to leave Primary medical Octavia had to agree to some terms, one kf those terms was to have weekly counselling sessions. Today was the start of those weekly sessions and she was looking forward to it, she really needed to speak to someone about what was happening to her mind and body. She walked into the psychiatry suit and waited at reception for the hologram to activate.

• Crewman Octavia Raain

[Bump]

Normally, Mariah would remain in her office and wait for reception to announce the arrival of patients coming to see her, but she’d begun to make a habit of venturing out to reception herselffrom time to time, both as an opportunity to stretch her legs and to get a feel for what was happening within the department itself. She had to admit, she could be guilty of holing herself up in the office talking with people or dealing with the dreaded red tape, but she understood if she was going to advocate self-care for everyone else, she had to be able to practice what she preached.

Entering the reception from her office, she spotted a familiar face from her schedule. “Crewman Raain?”

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“Thats me!” Octavia responded with a smile and a flourish of hands. “I’m a little early I know but didn’t want to make a bad first impression by being late!” She had a habit of that lately, sometimes she found herself just walking to engineering without even needing to be on the same deck and sometimes she’d find herself entering Raain’s old quarters. It was truly annoying.

• Crewman Octavia Raain

Mariah smiled. Even though she understood what had taken place, it still felt a bit strange to encounter this outgoing exuberant young woman, who based on the reports she had read when she’d learned that a symbiont had been implanted within her, not on a temporary basis as she had expected, but permanently, had been understandably shocked. Of course, Mariah understood the presence of the symbiont meant personality shifts were to be expected, and it was her job to help make sure all experiences and emotions were properly processed. “No worries. Punctuality is appreciated,” Mariah offered with a smile and a handshake. “Shall we had back to my office?”

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Octavia gave the woman a nod, “Sure.” She realised how rude and to the point she was being and hated every fibre of herself at the moment. Octavia moved in the direction of the Mariah and smiled, even if it was fake at least she was trying to be happy. “Lead the way counsellor.” She offered in the way of not being passive-aggressive. Once they started walking towards where Octavia assumed was her officer she allowed herself to relax, she hated being in public spaces at the moment another one of Goven lovely traits that she was desperately trying to rid of.

• Crewman Octavia Raain

In short order they were inside Mariah’s office with its pale hues and comfortable seating for various species and races that made up Starfleet and the Ogawa in particular. Grayson took note of Octavia’s cheerfulness and wondered naturally if it was a front or a reflection of the personality changes that came with joining. Grayson wouldn’t blame her if it was a front. After what she endured, the struggle between reality and the desire to move on would be understandable. “Feel free to be anywhere you like. Feel free to stand too if you’d rather. May I get you something from the replicator?”

OOC Lori: So sorry! I wrote my thread replies elsewhere, but forgot I didn’t paste them!

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Octavia looked about the room the Doctors words were hidden behind a kind of internal white noise when she eventually snapped out of it she simply looked to the Doctor “Urm, Yes?” She turned a little pink from embarrassment since being joined she found new places disorienting especially if Goven had been their before and it took her mind a moment to realise what she was seeing was new but also old. “May I sit down?” She felt a little heady and having missed the Doctors invitation she simply didn’t know she had already been told she could.

• Crewman Octavia Raain

“Of course,” Mariah replied politely, not bothered in the least having to repeat herself. As she waited for Octavia to sit, she offered, “Saying you must have a lot to absorb and get used to feels like the biggest understatement of the century. If it were me, I think I’d be terribly confused.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Octavia let out a laugh, “Confusing is one way to put it. I sometimes dont even know whether I’m ME anymore like I do and feel things I never have before I mean I do things and know things that I shouldn’t its like being constantly spun around with flashing lights and people shouting random information at you. It makes me sick and then there’s just why, why me?” She sighed and slumped back into her chair.

• Crewman Octavia Raain

Mariah listened with interest, but did not interrupt Octavia. Grayson was encouraged that despite her initial bright demeanor, which she might’ve thought a false front or even the influence of a previous host, Octavia wasn’t trying to sugarcoat or minimize any of her struggles. “Have you come to any conclusions about that? The why I mean?” There was certainly value in reassuring her just how normal her feelings were, but Grayson knew she’d been given lots of that and while not unwelcome, it didn’t help her come to her own conclusions about how to cope from here.

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

She shook her head, “Not really Raain keeps telling me because I was special, and so do the Trill Symbiote council but honestly I think its just because I was in the right place at the wrong time, I was a necessity a vessel to be used nothing else and I think the worst part is I’d have said yes… If I was given the choice but that choice was taken from me, that’s why I’m always so angry.”

• Crewman Octavia Raain

“You have a right to be angry,” Mariah affirmed with a nod. “No matter who we are or where we come from, we have the right to decide what happens to our own bodies. That choice was absolutely taken away from you, and that’s not okay.” She paused for a moment and then offered, “If it’s true that you were a vessel to be used and nothing else, what does that mean to you? In other words, what are you saying to yourself about who you are now if it’s true you were a vessel to be used?”

~Doctor Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist