STF

Take Chances

Posted June 11, 2021, 6:12 a.m. by Lieutenant Alexis Bonner (Scientist, Medical Researcher) (Jennifer Ward)

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Solomon Kane (Medical Research & Development) in Take Chances

Posted by Lieutenant Alexis Bonner (Scientist, Medical Researcher) in Take Chances

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Solomon Kane (Medical Research & Development) in Take Chances
Posted by… suppressed (6) by the Post Ghost! 👻

Kane wordlessly complied, and his face showed no sign of pain. It wasn’t that it didn’t hurt… it was just that he was used to pain. “I dunno if it did or not. Here they’re all dead. Back there? I think a few lived. I left because I was tired, Lex. Tired of fighting to save people just to have someone else fighting to end them. At some point, I just realized it was never gonna change. That one -” and he took a slow breath as her fingers traced the tattoo on his skin, the pleasure of her touch obvious. “That one is a Mathusian funeral pyre fire. And I cut my hair like this because I like it. No other reason. I’ve always been able to draw. Don’t know where or how I learned. And yeah… there is something else I like to do besides draw. A few things, actually.” he said with an obvious look at her and then a small grin. “And another phrase in Mandarin is ‘ Wǒ bù zhīdào wèishéme dàn wǒ xiǎng wǒ ài nǐ’.” he said softly as he let his hands drop form her face and settle on her hips.

Kane

Seeing no sign of pain on his face she focused solely on the feel of the muscle and tissue under her fingers, making note of the point at which the feel of the tissue at the point of strain and when it refused to move further. Her fingers traced and gently probed around the scar tissue on the right of his spine, and then did the same on the left to the undamaged tissue. Then she began to massage, manipulate, and work the tissue on the left side, her other hand resting over the scar tissue on the right. She nodded at his explanation, but she didn’t speak. She opened her mouth several times as if the questions would begin again, but they didn’t. It wasn’t that she hadn’t heard him, but her mind simply couldn’t latch onto her own thoughts long enough to voice them. There was a tension forming in her as she tried to force her mind to focus on more than the scar on his back - on that she was hyper focused. “I wish…” and the thought slipped away… “No one ever…” and gone. “Who....did you....” Slowly, but almost suddenly felt, there was a release of tension around the outer edges of the scar tissue. “Skill…” and then there was the beginning of faint flush at his look and then gone. “Means?......Wǒ bù zhidao…Wo bù zhidao wiishme dàn…” There was a sound of frustration, she couldn’t get the words to form, to focus. “Wo bù zhidao wiishme dàn…wo xǎng wǒ ài nǐ’.” She tried again but it was no better. She looked at him, frustration and anxiety in her eyes. “I…I can’t.” It wasn’t for a lack of trying to focus. Her hands continued to work on his back. Use me like I said. She understood what he meant, but she didn’t want to use him, she wanted to…she didn’t know how to put the feeling to words or though. “I…I can’t stand it…” her hand began to massage the outer edge of the scar that had relaxed, “you’re hurting and I can’t stand it,” and she continued to work the opposite muscles as well.
Bonner

“Why can’t you, Lex? I can, and it’s my pain… not yours. And it isn’t bad. It just is what it is.” He pulled her to him so she was straddling him, legs around his waist, and he put his face close to hers, eyes locked onto her through strands of hair. “Why does me hurting make you upset? 我知道为什么,但你需要先说出来,这样你才能知道它的真实性.” he said softly, pushing back hard against her fingers so that her pressure on the scar caused his eyes to water.

Kane

Her voice was just as soft as his, “You said no one cared that you hurt. But I do; I want to be that person, and you said I got to be that person.” He pulled and she went, settling on his lap, her eyes settling on him and some small focus returning. “Because I don’t like it…” and he began to push back, eyes watering against the pain. “Solomon stop! I don’t want to hurt you. Stop!” She snatched both her hands away from his back, “I don’t want to hurt people I love.”
Bonner

Kane leaned in and kissed her, pulling her to him and not letting either breathe as he devoured her… and let her devour him. Suddenly he pulled back and looked at her. “我也爱你. That means I love you, too. And that means you are never alone again… understand?”

She knew what she said, it just took a few moments to realize she’d actually said it. Despite the way he was kissing her there was a tinge of fear, that she’d wake up and he wouldn’t be real. And uncharacteristically she decided if he wasn’t real she was going to hold on, so she could remember. She devoured him in turn until he pulled back. She breathed heavily, her brown eyes merged with his green. She was quiet, the words tumbling over and over in her head. She understood them, but she wanted to feel them. The words settled in her chest and that something fundamentally Alexis that he’d awoken a day, hours, before stared back at him and she nodded her head. Her voice feathered into the space, “I understand.” She didn’t try to repeat the words this time, “Teach me to say that.”

He took her face in his hands again and kissed her gently but with a strength that conveyed that he was hers. He then pulled back and said “Tell me how you feel, Lex… not what you think… but what you are feeling right now.”

Kane

Her hands come up to rest against his chest as he kissed her. How did she feel? She closed her eyes, forehead resting against his. How did she feel? “Breathless, giddy?, scared or maybe anxious, safe, wanted.......love- that I love you and you love me.”
Bonner

“Good. Now remember that feeling. Right now. Remember it. Lock it away in the strange, convoluted, beautiful brain of yours and never forget it. Because no matter what happens, what the future brings, or who tries to break this… this is real, Lex. Right now. So hold onto that whenever you get scared, whenever you feel lost… whenever things get dark. Know that that feeling is still there. And part of it is me, got it?”

Alexis stared at him, playing the moment, his words, the way she felt over and over in her mind. She didn’t need to, she was never going to forget this moment. She smiled at him, “I got it. I love you.”

“Now… slowly. 我…也… 爱… 你. Repeat it to me.”

Kane

She listened carefully, repeating it silently to herself as he said it. “我…也… 爱… 你.” She shook her head it wasn’t quite right.
Bonner

“Almost. Try again. 我也爱你” he said, slightly faster.

Kane

This time she closed her eyes focusing just on the sound. There was a vowel inflection she missed. She repeated it again, faster but slower than him. “我..也.. 爱.. 你.”
Bonner

Kane smiled. “Perfect. Now that we have that settled… what do we do now?” and he looked at her and cocked his head to the side. “Distraction? Planning? Or utter physical exhaustion?”

Kane

A grin spread across her face, “I’m already distracted.” Suddenly remembering the look on his face, she traced the tattoo of the Mathusian funeral pyre fire again. “I’ve never heard of Mathusian. Why a funeral pyre? Is it for someone you lost?” Her voice was softer though, she was more interested in the way he reacted to her tracing the tattoo than the answer. She looked up at him, “No one’s ever called me, Lex. Do you think the Gypsie head brought you luck?” Her other hand dropped to his left thigh, tracing small circles. Then her eyes widened and she paused for half a second, the grin turning into a smile. “You said it earlier. 我爱你. I don’t know what else you said, but you said you loved me.”
Bonner

His eyes closed as her fingers moved across his skin. “Its a… legend… from some old Orion… religious sect. Malthus was cursed… to live in pain… reborn in fire… every morning. And to know… that it would never change…” and his eyes opened slowly and he looked at her. “I think you’d be the best judge of how lucky I am. And I said I didn’t know why, but I loved you. I was wrong, though. I do know.”

Kane

She didn’t like that tattoo. She could understand how he might find similarity to his life, and that made her hurt. It made her chest hurt at the idea that he thought his life would always be pain. She took his hands tracing each of the ones she knew, each piece of his story. She just couldn’t understand how no one else never noticed he was hurting. “I don’t think I have the right to decide if you are lucky or not. My life has been very different than yours, and I have no measure by which to judge. But I think that I am lucky.” Her fingers traced over the eagle on his arm, the NDFD crest on his wrist. She kissed him slowly, and it was different. There was passion and desire and love. It had been there before, but now she knew that, and it made it more intense, made that connection stronger, deeper, brighter. Her hands tracing across his shoulders, along his collar bone, and behind his neck. She squeezed, pressing closer to him. Eventually she pulled back by just a breath, breathing deeply. “What…what do you know?”
Bonner

Kane looked at her for a moment and then grasped what she was asking. “I know why I love you, Lex. Its because you are you. That’s the only reason. And I don’t need any other.” He just looked at her, not moving to kiss her. He just… looked at her; seeing her for her entirity… and relishing all of it.

Kane

Before she met Solomon she would have expected to feel confusion or disbelief at his words. But ever since Solomon came into her life, it was different. Instead she felt certainty, secure, and wanted. He loved her, all of her, even the parts that were strange. She stayed right where she was, staring back at him. She didn’t ask him if he really meant it she knew he did. He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it. He wanted her just the way she was and it was an incredibly healing knowledge. “You told me once that people found you more effort than it was worth, even women. They were wrong. You are worth every moment, and I want all of them.” She tested her hands against his chest and sat with him, just watching him. After several minutes, “What do you want to do?”
Bonner

Kane looked at her a minute and then said “You know in the vids, when the guy and whoever he’d been chasing finally get their s#!÷ together and they have moment? And they both say all the right things and its all swelling music and soft filters? I always hated that crap. So let’s just go to bed and show each other how we feel in every conceivable way possible?”

Kane

Alexis looked at him, head tipped to the side, “I have no idea what you are talking about. I don’t watch vids.” She didn’t either, but she knew what he meant. Right then she didn’t wonder if she’s done something her and messed up. She was happy and relaxed. “I suppose that means you want me to move.” She slid off his lap and stood up, walking around him. She paused to pet Frigga, “Really, Frigga, I was trying to work. He started it, kicking all my PaDDs over, telling me I’m not alone. I don’t know what he’s going on about music and filters and vids.” Then she walked into the bedroom, kicking her shoes off as she went.
Bonner

“Actually, I was hoping to figure out a way you didn’t have to, and we still ended up in there.” he said with a grin and then stood up and followed her.

He came up behind her and put his hands in her hips. He lowered his head to her neck and kissed her softly. “Here… let me.” and he slowly reached over and opened the closure on her uniform top. As he did, he said =/\= Computer, lights to seventy-five percent. =/\= and they dimmed slightly. Another kiss and he asked quietly “That okay?”

Kane

A soft breath escaped with his kiss and she leaned back against him and the warmth of his body as she watched the lights dim. She looked around, letting her eyes take in the light and shadow. Quietly she made her request, =^=Computer lower the window shades=^= Now, she couldn’t see the darkness outside. She nodded in answer to his quiet question. “Yeah it’s okay.” She let the uniform jacket slip off her shoulders to the floor. No one had ever asked her if she was comfortable with the lights in a room. Alexis licked her lips and divulged quietly, “I’ve tried to make them lower and can go as low as 45%, but only for a little while.” She closed her eyes briefly when he kissed her again.
Bonner


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