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Myqian's Quarters- Harsh Realities

Posted July 13, 2021, 9:37 p.m. by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Solomon Kane (Medical Research & Development) in Myqian’s Quarters- Harsh Realities

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Myqian’s Quarters- Harsh Realities

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Solomon Kane (Medical Research & Development) in Myqian’s Quarters- Harsh Realities
Posted by… suppressed (4) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Kane looked at her and his brow furrowed slightly… well, slight more. He looked at her and leaned forward and said “Ok… so I get the part about Intel getting your girl killed. And I can sympathize. As far as the self-involved manipulative people? Well… there’s selfish bastards in every universe, I guess. But you lost me at the whole ‘failed as a leader’ bit. When did that happen?”

Kane

She didn’t have the energy for this. For another big story. To defend her feelings. Hell, she didn’t even know how to evaluate her own feelings and that was a pat of the problem. She just needed a bit of time. But she was well aware that she probably wouldn’t get the time she truly needed either. Such was life. Dira shook her head slowly. No, she wouldn’t unpick that piece just now. Instead silence was her initial answer.

“Do you know what transference is?” she said quietly. Even now she wasn’t sure she’d tell the whole story or even a lot of it, but she could tell this piece.

Commander Myqian, XO

“Uh…” Kane though a moment and then said “Isn’t it when a person redirects some of their feelings or desires for another person to an entirely different person? Like when a patient has anger or is in love with someone and goes to the therapist fo rhelp and then has those feelings for the therapist?”

Kane, amateur psychologist

Dira nodded slowly. “It’s something we guard against in our practices on a regular basis. But it can still happen and when it does, there are ways we can interject space and sometimes we have to have someone take over the case. The same thing that I am struggling now with the mixing up of emotions is something that can and did crop up in my therapy practice, especially early on. I can get to close because therapy can be a very intimate process. Someone is inviting you in deeply into their life, into their psyche.”

“On my last assignment I had a patient with a lot of issues surrounding his father. I can’t go into details but he would lash out at me, fully expecting me to retaliate. And when I didn’t, when I instead showed hm empathy and compassion, care, he grew… attached. I know it was because he had had a wonderful relationship with his mother when he was young but she died and he was left with an emotionally crippling father and a family who would prop him up, probably out of pity, but also because of guilt for not stepping in sooner. And when his father died unexpectedly, he came to me and I tried to help him work through that all.”

Dira cast her gaze elsewhere for a moment and something was off. Oh, the place was tidy. Huh. She returned her gaze to Kane, pushing down the slight terror that this particular topic brought up. “He kept showing up. we worked together, so it was hard to avoid him unless I was in sessions constantly, which I often could be. But… he knew how to get to me. How to make his presence known even if we weren’t in the same room.” She tapped her head. “I always knew and he delighted in it. I couldn’t shut him out entirely.”

Commander Myqian, XO

Kane listened and remained silent. After a long pause he looked closely at her and said “Ok. So he took advantage of your empathy. What did you do? And how does this tie into you saying you failed as a leader?”

Kane

Her fingernail traced a circle on her arm as she tried to make sense of it all. There was no direct Point A to Point B thing. “It doesn’t. And it does”. She blew out a breath. “He didn’t just take advantage of my empathy.” She could feel the anger again. “He kissed me, Lieutenant. And when I rebuffed him and ended our session, I also transferred him to another therapist. And for a couple weeks it was fine. But then we were on this time-sensitive and potentially dangerous away mission and he screwed up and after another officer called him on his antics, I was the next ranking officer and had take over. And I was good in charge. I had never done that before. Never had a reason to. And afterwards, oh his anger!. He’d been humiliated and he then took it out on the two of us that caused it. He even accused me of mutiny and Command was obliged to investigate. I knew I’d be cleared, and I was, but I still had to confined to quarters during the investigation.” Her jaw was clenched, eyes narrowed. “And after I was cleared they all carried on like nothing had happened, or tried to, but I was different. And I made the decision to change my entire career on that one moment! But of course he couldn’t let it be. His infatuation turned… well, you mentioned anger relating to transference. Think of all the anger towards his father and here was someone who he could actively point his finger at and blame for his problems. He made our lives hell there. I was just biding my time till I could get my first posting as an executive officer. It didn’t even care where. I just wanted to be anywhere else that he wasn’t. He was more than just a… who did you brush it off as? A selfish bastard?”

Commander Myqian, XO

“Not a brush-off, but yeah. And he sounds like a right p$#@K. Selfish, entitled, arrogant, manipulative, uses the rules to oppress and get his way… a lot like that douche Bonner has trying to get to her. But that still doesn’t tell me why you think you failed as a leader. You stepped in, took charge, kept people alive and the mission on track… and pissed off a raging narcissist and selfish a##hole in the process. And he lashed out in the only way impotent and embarrassed people do. He tried to make you look the a##hole. And when it didn’t work, you came out on top. So from here, where I sit… as someone who is supposed to listen to you and follow your orders… I’m still trying to figure out where you failed. So far, all I have heard is a d$#k made your life hell so you moved. Thats not failing. Thats doing whats best for you. And you are a person, right? Sentient being with all the attached rights and such? So… how’d you fail?”

Kane

Dira shook her head. “It was a stupid comment I can’t make sense of and it’s not the important part here. It’s not why I’m like this“-she gestured to herself-” so just drop it will you? Besides, let’s be honest. You wouldn’t follow my orders unless you felt you had a good reason to. You made it very clear that my morals are too weak to be…” She stopped abruptly and sat up straighter, her breath quickening. Her eyes narrowed but were un focused as if she was trying to hone in on something.

Commander Myqian, XO


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