Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Solomon Kane (Medical Research & Development) in Myqian’s Quarters- Harsh Realities

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Myqian’s Quarters- Harsh Realities

Posted by Lieutenant Dr. Solomon Kane (Medical Research & Development) in Myqian’s Quarters- Harsh Realities
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Dira studied him for a moment, her uneven forehead furrowing more deeply. “Huh, that could be it. I have no reference point to know otherwise. And certainly it’s been a more recent thing since we boarded the new ship.” She drew in a shaky breath and forced it out more evenly. “It’s hard to explain. People often think telepathy is this perfect sort of thing, that especially if you’re strong, you just read a mind or a situation and you get everything correctly. But we’re like any sentient being, we can misinterpret something, or get more feelings about something without the context. It really depends on the scenario. In this case, every now and again I feel an intense focus. Maybe it’s towards me, maybe it’s not. It’s very brief and then it’s gone. It’s happened a few times now but it always unsettles me for awhile.”

Commander Myqian, XO

Kane looked at her confusedly. “A ‘focus’? Like… someone is focusing on you? Like paying close attention to you and your thoughts? Or like someone is screwing around with telepathic wavelengths? Can you trace it back to a source? Does it happen more in some areas that others?”

Kane

Dira shook her head. “Like I said, I can’t hone in on exactly what it is. And it’s so fleeting that by the time it properly registers, it’s gone. It’s like that Terran saying about walking through a ghost or something like that. It’s just this intense and brief sensory experience. My professional inclination is to say that the stress of recent events surrounding Soulis is bringing up difficult things with my former patient and my late fiancee that are very confusing for me and as a result I’m not sleeping well and I’m exhausted. I’ve taken a couple days off to try and figure it out, but I can’t seem to rest. Sleep is fleeting, but I’m not yet at the point where I feel a sedative is necessary. And given my unease I think a sedative would make me more anxious. And then there’s my conversation with my father where he reminded me about my instincts. My instincts are making me ask, ‘What if it’s something more’?” She shrugged, feeling more exhausted than before.

Commander Myqian, XO

Kane listened an put pieces together as best he could. “You said that its a more recent thing since you came on the new ship, right? Well… that was before the s#!+ with Soulis. So that situation doesn’t seem to be the cause but maybe exacerbated the issue?” He thought for a moment and then looked at her.

“Could it be GALEN?”

Kane

Her brows furrowed against the indentations and bulges of her forehead. “I don’t think so. I mean, it’s possible but improbable. While highly intelligent and adaptive, AI’s don’t give me the same… sense that I get from others.” She was careful how she phrased it because it was one of those fine lines. Was Galen highly intelligent? Absolutely. But sentient? Not from her perspective and the AI had been designed that way.

Wrapping the blanket around her tighter, Dira sighed. “Look, I appreciate you coming down here, but this place I’m in? It’s not something anyone can fix for me. I’ve been in it before. It will pass.”

Commander Myqian, XO

Kane looked at her and then shook his head. “I came down here to say that me and Bonner didnt mean to drive you away, not ‘fix’ anything. But if you are getting feelings like that… and we’ve had a serious security breach already… maybe you should crawl out from your blankey, for all that is holy take a shower, and start trying to figure out what is going on.” and he stood up. He looked down at Dira and said “You can hide, or you can fight. Those are the only two options anyone ever has. Every choice is a shade of one of those two things.” He walked to the door.

“See ya tomorrow, hot-stuff. Remember… hide or fight.” and he walked through the door and out of her quarters.

Kane

He wasn’t wrong. But for her it would be more of a combo third option: hide for now and come back fighting later. Right now her mind was too much in the past to be able to focus on their present predicament and the situation that had triggered her so badly. Would she be embarrassed later that a member of the crew had seen her like this? Perhaps. But for the time being, Dira couldn’t pull herself out of the past. She missed Paige in a way that she wasn’t sure she could explain. Like a piece of her had died that day and she had been traipsing through life with a hole in her. Strangely, there was no conflict in her mind between Paige’s place and Zoi. They did not overlap in anyway. Two separate women who captured her heart in unique ways.

A sound rang through the living space and Dira realized it was her. A wail. A deep moment of unexpected grief. She sobbed. Dira couldn’t remember the last time she had been so overcome as she was now. Maybe in the immediate aftermath? But in this moment it all felt as fresh as that day, that wonderful, terrible day…

Her fingers ran over her scalp, smoothing the tight curls as they tried to revert to their typical position that collectively formed a large mass rising from her head. Gathering the wayward locks into one hands, she reached for her brush.

Her nerves suddenly sparked, becoming alive as fingertips traipsed casually along the tendons of her neck, a flash of vibrant copper hair showing in the mirror. “That’s not fair. I’m trying to get ready,” Dira said, unimpressed. And yet, her body was anticipating the likelihood of more input from one of its favourite sources.

Leaning in, Paige touched her lips to that one particular spot on Dira’s neck and an unbidden murmur escaped her lips. “Paige,” she warned, but there was no edge in her tone, nothing that would convince either of them that she was serious.

“I can’t help myself. Can you blame me for not wanting to let such a perfect opportunity pass me by?” Paige murmured, her breath caressing Dira’s ear and sending a shiver down her spine.

“There are names for people like you,” Dira quipped. “Especially since you know I’m getting ready for an important event.”

“Meh, a diplomatic reception. One in which you’ll sit there and be the token telepath and give subtle nods or glances at Counsellor Bendrick, Captain Kolran, and probably the spooks too, if things are going well or not. Tell me you’d not rather stay here with me,” Paige teased, her hands settling on Dira’s hips as she rested her chin on Dira’s shoulder.

With a sigh of resignation, Dira twisted in her fiancee’s grasp and kissed her fully on the lips, her curls flopping back down with a cheerful bounce, as if they were happy to avoid being tucked up into her usual tidy bun. The heat between them was palpable, but Dira pulled back first, not letting them get carried away as they both wanted to. “Later. Save this lovely thought for later.”

“Or I can remind you of it at impromptu times while you’re mingling.”

Dira eyes narrowed. “You’re going?”

“Yep! Pulled guard duty. Which means I get the joy of protecting your very lovely ass my dear,” Paige said waggling her brows.

It was hard to be mad at this woman ever. They could have to fierce arguments, but inevitably, Paige would do something to make Dira laugh and it would break the tension long enough for them to properly talk things out. In this Dira had learned to surrender to the game rather happily.

Four Hours Later

Chatter bounced off the walls of he large space and not for the first time since they had beamed down did Dira wonder why their hosts had insisted on such a large room for so few people. Still, it was lovely to look at. Gilt details along the intersection of the ceiling and the walls drew her eyes upwards and at times distracted her from the conversations around her she was supposed to be paying attention to.

Paige’s comment about her being the token telepath notwithstanding, she did enjoy being at events like this. She had grown up attending art openings for her father and sitting amongst learned adults in the intellectual circles her mother orbited. Or did they orbit around Sesara? As an adult, Dira now knew it was more likely the latter.

Speaking of naughty fiancee’s… hers was keeping a close eye on everything going on at the reception, and doing exactly as she promised: casting idle thoughts Dira’s way and waiting to see how much of a reaction she could get. After the first hour it had become a game and Dira was determined to not let Paige win. Which would be easier if Dira had better shields. Despite years of training, she still couldn’t filter everyone else out, and the closer she was with someone, the worse it was.

Returning her attention to the conversation at hand, Dira smiled at the anecdote offered as chaos erupted. She couldn’t say from what direction the firing began but it had been precipitated by intense anger. It wasn’t someone currently present, it was a new figure whom had entered the space. Anger that spurred violence.

Instincts and training kicked in and Dira dropped to the ground, her dark eyes searching the room, desperately trying to understand what was going on here. Paige and the two other guards had taken up defensive positions and sent out shots in the assailants direction to test their resolve.

Shouting ensued and there was the flash of someone running, leaping. Pain erupted through her but Dira soon realized that it wasn’t her. It wasn’t her pain. Paige. She always could feel her lovers feelings keenly as if they were her own. Same here too, it seemed.

Later, she would not be able to recall exactly where the thought came from, but it had been oh so clear and from someone very near her. No! We knew this would happen! Dammit, Kretz. With little time to mull those words over, Dira moved across the room with alacrity, unaware of how she even crossed the space to collapse to her knees at her lovers body. Hands shaking, she reached out to check for a pulse. Nothing. Paige’s beautiful green eyes were vacant, the essence of the woman she had known and loved gone, slipped from her grasp. The smell of char overwhelmed her senses, and it was the thing later she’d recall more clearly than the bloody wound and Paige’s lifeless gaze.

Voices shouted around her, but she couldn’t make sense of them. A hand rested on her shoulder and someone was trying to coax her to her feet. A tingle of dematerialization. And then nothing.

Later they would add their recollections to the sequence of events to understand that the terrorist had intended to kill the Jonnell leader and Paige had moved lightning fast, tackling the Governor and taking the hit herself. And someone would recollect that the person closest to her was one of the junior Intelligence officers that were helping to navigate this tricky diplomatic situation. It was then that the words would float back to her and Dira’s rage had led to her fellow shipmates having to hold her back from letting it loose on the officers who had known key details and not done anything with them. They had chosen not to act and Paige had died. And then they ordered her silence. For that, for so casually dismissing Paige’s unnecessary sacrifice, there was no forgiveness.

She hated them for that alone. She loathed them for death of the one woman who she had felt fit into her life so perfectly. A puzzle piece always missing.

Dira remained on the sofa for another hour before finally rising. She sniffed herself and grimaced. Gods, Kane was right: she needed a shower. With a sigh, she went off to clean herself up and perhaps after she’d be ready to face the present and the situation that had affected her. All she knew was that even if she herself didn’t have to do anything going forward, this would not be easy to brush off. It would require self-compassion and fortitude, and (where she could let people in), help. For the moment though, Dira was going to put one foot in front of the other and walk through the mire.

Commander Myqian, XO