Posted June 23, 2022, 8:43 p.m. by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) (Lindsay B)
Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Counselling Suite- Doctors Make the Worst Patients
Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Counselling Suite- Doctors Make the Worst Patients
(snip)
“Don’t let the red uniform fool you, I was a psychiatrist myself for twenty years. I know my way around a telepathic brain,” Myqian said, closing her eyes. There was always a moment of unsteadiness that ensued and passed fairly quickly. Her brain had to adapt quickly to a lack of input and a reframing of how she was to interpret the world around her. It was no small thing. This Dira knew and understood and that was why she didn’t take this option lightly.
Surra nodded. “Your past psych experience is welcomed. I have not had much experience with telepaths. Most of them do not prefer to speak with psychiatrists or counselors as most of them are actually psychiatrists and counselors themselves
When she opened her ebony eyes, she was resigned. “My fiancee died needlessly, Surra.” If they were going to get into this, titles, ranks and surnames were only going to get in the way. “There’s always a risk to being involved with a shipmate. Worse yet if they are a security officer.” She tapped her head with two fingers. “Long story short, Intelligence was involved in a diplomatic mission we were on and Paige leapt into the path of weapons fire to protect one of the dignitaries. My mind caught an errant thought from one of the agents that they knew this was going to happen. Fine. Shit happens. But in the aftermath I was ordered into silence. It was a mercy not to have to tell Paige’s family that they could have prevented her death had they just been open with us, allowed us to take extra precautions. But no. The answer was to silence me.
“I sympathize. I was not fully aware of the situation.” She wanted to ask more questions but then Dira spoke again.
“I can’t go into details but there was an incident here that also involved Intelligence and people keeping secrets and the past and the present got far too blurred and I was triggered.” Dira opened her mouth to say something, but the pain etched itself all over her face instead.
Surra listened as she continued to scan her with the tricorder.
The neurosuppressant was doing its job and so far Dira’s vitals were steady after the initial wave of discomfort had passed.
Shaking her head, she just sighed. “I fell apart. Went numb. I took myself off duty for a couple of days to get myself together but I feel paranoid. With this weird sensory issue going on, everything feels heightened. It took me a long time to come to terms with Paige being gone, and even longer to allow myself to have feelings for another person.” Her eyes found a place on Surra’s desk and focused there. “I am honestly terrified I cant make good decisions. So Iven and I decided to take away some of the extra stressors so that I can weed out my own feelings from everything else that is going on, and whatever might have happened in the past.”
Commander Myqian, XO
“That is quite understandable,” she said as she pulled up a chair and sat across from her. “Is there something happening to trigger the onset of sensory issues? Is the anniversary of Paige’s death approaching?
“It is in a few week, but it’s been twelve years. It hasn’t hit hard in a long time,” Myqian said. “But I do recognize that grief is not a linear thing.”
Surra listened to her as she mentioned the part about good decisions. “You are experiencing an extreme phase of mourning which is enhanced by your telepathic abilities. I can hear in your voice how dear Paige was to you. I don’t think you have fully come to terms with her being gone.” She paused and said, “I think the fact that you were silenced and not able to fully talk about what happened is weighing on you.” Surra wanted to know more about Paige’s death and she made a mental note to see what she could find out, if anything, about it.
Almikaz, CoP
Dira allowed silence to fill the space between them, to allow herself the opportunity to consider if there was truth behind Surra’s words. “That might be a part of it,” she conceded. “I think… I think the similitude between then and recent events are a part of it. It’s not a repeat or anything, but some of the details are the same. And, a part of it is that”-Dira inhaled deeply-“I’m in a relationship again. The first serious one since Paige. And it happens to be with another security officer, too. It wasn’t planned and I wasn’t looking for anyone, we just… happened.” She couldn’t help the smile that touched her eyes and mouth. “I’m dating our Chief of Security, Lieutenant Haven.” She leaned towards Surra. “And it’s been wonderful! I haven’t felt this way in so long I wasn’t sure I ever would. But… I’m scared, Surra. I know intellectually that hers is a dangerous job, and that I am in a position where I might have to order her into danger. And I accept that risk. She knows about Paige now too, so we’re not in this blindly. But…” She swallowed. “I think I’m in love with her and I’m terrified I’ll lose her too.”
Commander Myqian, XO
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