Plant Psychiatry

Posted July 2, 2022, 4:27 p.m. by HARLEEN (Psychiatry Reception Hologram) (Mika Jackson)

Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Plant Psychiatry

Posted by Audrey II (Arboretum Hostess) in Plant Psychiatry

Posted by HARLEEN (Psychiatry Reception Hologram) in Plant Psychiatry
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
One of Audrey II’s tendrils snaked out and hit the com panel near her planter and contacted the Psychiatry offices on the Ogawa.

“Heeeeeeeeeelllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooooooo, this is Audrey II of Canticus Theatrum IV, the hostess with the mostess, the showtune singing Venus flytrap, recently returned from a state of dormancy to active service here on the Ogawa. I have problems, my friend, problems right here on the Ogawa, it starts with P and it rhymes with photysynthesis. That’s right, Photosynthesis. But according to a documentary I saw called ‘Green Acres’, there should be ‘land spreading out far and wide’ here. I need help. Do the psychologists make housecalls, or does my lack of limbs which prevents me from physically moving from one place to another mean I will be shunned from getting the psychological assistance I so desperately need?”

  • Audrey II

HARLEEN who was in processing mode, organizing the psych unit’s files and appointments suddenly actuated and then answered the call.
“Audrey II welcome back! This is HARLEEN the psychiatric receptionist. The psych unit does indeed make house calls for all crew members aboard the Ogawa and since you are crew we will come to you. I regret I cannot personally assist you with your issue because my programming is restricted to the reception area as well as my duties but I will contact one of our doctors and have them visit you to discuss your....issue. However, before I do, I need to understand the nature of your issue. Will you please elaborate on the exact problems you are experiencing?”


“Oh hello HARLEEN. I am so very happy to hear that, when it comes to my issue, it is gratifying to hear that the locomotivey challenged like myself are afforded the same opportunities as our bipedal colleagues. During my time of dormancy, I took the opportunity to study a lot of documentaries from Earth of the 20th and 21st Century. But I am confused by them all. There are talking horses, there are talking frogs, pigs, bears, chickens and rats amongst other individuals, but there are very few talking plants. Oh there was one part of that documentary in which a chef goes shopping and the fruit and vegetables are singing with him, but I don’t see much by way of talking plants outside of that. Indeed, in my place of residence and work on the Ogawa, there are no other talking plants in earshot. I am always talking and singing when I’m not dormant and I get lonely. I also get lost in the showtunes and it seems that I can go into a showtune at the drop of a leaf and I am concerned that might be an indication that I may be loosing my mind and I put it down to the artificial and not real sunIight get here. Back home, I knew when it was sunrise and sunset and as days and years went by, Here, I don’t know when or if we will let the sun shine in. That was from Fiddler on the Roof and then Hair, both musicals from 20th century Earth, though greatly different in message and theme. Please, I need help, and while I’m sure the sun will come out tomorrow, I need help today! And yes, that was from Annie.”

  • Audrey II

OOC: References to musical/tv themes used
Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllooooooo was a line delivered by Robin Williams in Mrs Doubtfire as the title character.
I have problems, my friend, problems right here on the Ogawa, it starts with P and it rhymes with photysynthesis. That’s right, Photosynthesis. is based on Trouble from The Music Man We have problems, my friends, problems right here in River City, it starts with P and it rhymes with POOL. That’s right, Pool.
‘Green Acres’ and ‘land spreading out far and wide’ was taken from the theme song of Green Acres
talking horses is of course referencing Mr Ed.
talking frogs, pigs, bears, chickens and rats amongst other individuals … a chef goes shopping and the fruit and vegetables are singing with him obviously a reference to The Muppet Show and its various movies and spinoffs. In a Muppet Show short the Swedish Chef goes to a supermarket to buy fruit and vegetables and they sing ‘Yes, we have no bananas’ in the ‘language’ of the Swedish Chef.
Sunrise, Sunset is a song from Fiddler on the Roof
Let the Sunshine in is from Hair.
The sun will come out tomorrow is a line from Tomorrow from Annie


After HARLEEN explained Audrey II’s psych needs to Surra, Surra rested her forehead in the palm of her left hand as leaned forward over her desk and she placed both elbows on it. Eyes closed she took a deep breath then said, “Are you telling me that I have to go and talk to a …plant! A talking and singing plant with teeth?”
She shook her head and threw her hands up in disbelief, “No, nope. I can’t do it. What if it… eats me?”

HARLEEN did not quite understand the human emotions Surra was feeling but she smiled and tried to reassure her. “The likelihood of Audrey II eating you is less than .01%. It’s very much unlikely. It seems she just wants someone to talk to. She has an obsession with show tunes and documentaries from the 20th century. The fact that there is very little content out there that encompasses species of her kind seems to bother her a bit.”

Surra brought her fingers up to the bridge of her nose and rested them there, eyes closed again. I obviously had no idea what I was signing up for when I took this position on this ship. she thought to herself.
“Why must it be me? Or anyone else in the psychiatric department?” Surra asked, “Don’t…don’t we have a vet or better yet a gardener who can speak with her? I am sure they would be more effective or qualified than I am.”

HARLEEN thoughts processed for a moment then she responded, “Technically she is part of the crew, and is it not your job to provide psychological evaluations to the crew?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Said Surra as she waved at HARLEEN. “If I must go, then I am talking security with me. The last thing I want my obituary to say is She was dedicated to her job and in the end made a delicious entree for a show-tune Venus Flytrap. All I have to say is if one tendril touches me, I am passing out.”

From doing a quick vital scan, HARLEEN was able to tell that Surra’s heart rate and blood pressure were elevated. “I assure you that she is not a danger to you or anyone else on this ship. I hear she puts on quite a show.” HARLEEN said still smiling at Surra.

“You keep saying that, but you don’t have to go and have a face-to-face with it…her…whatever!” Said Surra as she walked to the supply closet and grabbed a waist bag that contained typical medical equipment such as a tricorder, and hyposprays. Then she walked back to her desk and picked up her PaDD.

“If I were not confined to the psychology section I would accompany you, however since I cannot I will have security meet you in the arboretum,” said HARLEEN.

“Thank you, HARLEEN,” said Surra as she left the psychiatric suite.

When Surra arrived at the arboretum a security officer was already there. The area was full of foliage, flora, and other types of plants from all over the galaxy. She cautiously stepped through the door, clutching her PaDD to her chest with one hand, and signaling the security officer to say close as she tried to discern exactly where the plant was.
“Umm…hello? Audrey? I heard you needed to talk to someone. My name is Dr. Surra Almikaz, you can call me Surra…. If you want.” She cleared her throat and said, “I … heard some of you singing the other day and you sound very nice.” She said, while still not immediately being able to determine the location of Audrey in the arboretum. “Audrey?”

Almikaz, CoP

HARLEEN, Psych Reception AI

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