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Counselling Suite- Myqian, Day 2

Posted Aug. 10, 2022, 10:06 a.m. by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) (Lindsay B)

Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Counselling Suite- Myqian, Day 2

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Counselling Suite- Myqian, Day 2

Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Counselling Suite- Myqian, Day 2
Posted by… suppressed (3) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(Snip)

Her eyes widened. “Oh no, not at all! I thought maybe he’d try but my working hypothesis was that I had embarrassed him and he was lashing out. The less I reacted to him, the sooner it would calm. Not unlike the way a small child having a tantrum will eventually stop when they realize they aren’t getting attention. Once I was gone I was no longer the source of anything.” Myqian shrugged.

Commander Myqian, XO

Surra was relieved to hear he hadn’t tried to contact her after leaving. “That’s good.” she said with a relieved smile, “However, I do have a question. Why do you think this man has resurfaced in your consciousness? Especially since you were able to get away from him? I mean something about him, the experiences you encountered because of him, is bothering you. I am thinking you must feel some kind of uneasiness or danger from him. Is he still in Starfleet? Do you think that everything he did was specifically to target you or do you think he has the tendency to be this way with others too? Is your concern that he may have changed his target to some other female who is serving under him? She knew if was a barrage of questions, but she really wanted Dira to think about why this man was connected to the way she was feeling.

Almikaz, CoP

Dira sighed as she gathered the thoughts that had been sitting in the back of her mind for a few days now. “I think, and at this point I can only speculate based on my experience, that it has to do with something that happened between Lieutenant Bonner and I during the security breach that triggered all of this. I went to see her and in the course of our discussion, my mind skimmed feelings and right or wrong I reacted. She took it badly and left. I’ve been around enough people who are uncomfortable with telepaths over the years to know what that feels like and I know that this is the situation between us. I didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable, but at this point we are… not at odds, but not exactly friends either. That’s fine. I don’t require everyone to like me in order to be first officer. But I think it’s brought up that self-doubt I have in relation to my abilities. The inability to fully shield isn’t a problem, but that wasn’t the first time it’s caused strife. I try hard not to take action based on it knowing it’s often only a piece of the picture but sometimes under stress I forget.” She shrugged. “I’ve always been pretty social, but I am struggling to find my place as XO here. To be Dira again. Séan accused me of divorcing the different parts of myself and he’s not wrong. William Franks definitely played a role in that and it’s something I’m going to have to wrok on.”

Commadner Myqian, XO

Surra nodded as Dira spoke, and after she was done she said, “I understand even though I am not picking up an exact pattern here. However, it seems you are being affected by your encounters and the energies from them. Anyone of them can be triggers or all of them. You are interesting as you seem to right in the middle on the spectrum of intuitiveness and rationality. It also makes it hard to really map out your thoughts.” Surra had not been aware of the situation with Bonner and was glad she didn’t consult with her on Dira’s treatment as she had planned to do so. There was a thoughtful expression on her face.”So the incident with Doctor Bonner is interesting. I’d like to know a little more about what happened there. Was she aware of your abilities?”

Almikaz, CoP

Dira nodded slowly. “She knows I’m a telepath, yes.” Dira sighed. “After I… read her, sort of and tried to offer some perspective from my own experience with manipulative people, she reacted badly. The problem came later when I was concerned about the implications of unexpressed emotion and I was taling to someone Bonner is… close to, because I was already involved in the situation.” She blew out a breath, knowing that this was complicated to explain without revealing private details that were not hers to share. “In any case, she walked in and saw us talking and got upset. She leapt to conclusions that were only partially right. Did I cross a line in talking to this other person? I didn’t think so at the time, but now all of this and my… meltdown if we want to call it that had me second guessing everything.” Surra wasn’t wrong. Dira was a very rational person. But she also felt things deeply. This was why she was having such a difficult time just now. “In any case, we tried to reassure her that we weren’t deciding things for her, but at one point the conversation turned to places I wasn’t morally comfortable and I realized I was no longer able to be involved. I told them to talk to Captain Taylor and I left. I went to Willow after that and took myself off duty for a couple days. After that I saw Séan and now you and here we are.”

Commander Myqian, XO

“Oh I see,” said Surra, “Do you think the relationship is savable? I know very little about Dr. Bonner. Haven’t gotten the chance to really meet or speak to her in a non-work setting. I do know she is human and prone to emotional fits, as my father used to put it.” she sighed and said, ” I really should not have said that, as I said, I do not know her.”

While Dira agreed she shouldn’t have said that, the question of whether the situation was changeable settled into her mind.

Surra clasped her hands together and said, “I will not press you details if you don’t want to share them. But this other person you were chatting with, was she angry with them as well, or was her anger only toward you? What do you think it will take to repair your relationship with Dr. Bonner, do you even want to?”

Almikaz, CoP

“Oh, she was angry at both of us, but in the end she has a personal relationship with them that I don’t.” Dira inhaled deeply. “I’ve been in this place before, Surra. That place where as a psi-positive person you are aware that someone distrusts you because you have abilities that they don’t fully understand? Been there, done that. It never feels good and there is little you can do about it unless they are willing to get to know you better. I don’t see that happening just now. At least not with me being all over the place.” Her eyes shifted elsewhere as she thought some more. “I can’t change who I am or how my abilities work. But we can work together. That isn’t an issue. I suppose that I just have to accept that we’ll never be friends. Which is fine. Not everyone gets along. It’s just… I’ve been trying to connect with more of the crew. I used to be very social with everyone and I’m finding it more of a struggle here as I navigate what being an XO means.”

Commander Myqian, XO


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