Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Main Sim- Conference Room (All Senior Staff)

Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Main Sim- Conference Room (All Senior Staff)

Posted by Commander Dira Myqian (Executive Officer) in Main Sim- Conference Room (All Senior Staff)
Posted by… suppressed (9) by the Post Ghost! 👻

(snip)

Surra stood to follow the others out but paused at the request of the Commander. She nervously blinked her eyes a couple of times then simply said with a quick nod, “Yes. Of course, Commander.”, as she sat back down. She quietly watched as everyone exited the room. After they were all gone she turned her her eyes to Dira then waited to learn the reason she’d been asked to stay behind.

Almikaz, CoP

Myqian tapped her fingers on her thigh for a moment before taking a seat next to Surra. “Okay, so I get it, you two don’t like each other and that’s not going to change overnight. But going at it in front of an Admiral? Seriously? What the hell was that? And don’t think I won’t be having this same conversation with Kane, because I will.”

Commander Myqian, XO

Surra sat there and clenched her fists. She held in a flurry of emotions as the Commander scolded her. In that moment, she felt that she was being reprimanded for a situation that wasn’t her fault. Was she not allowed to defend herself against subliminal insults? If anything she felt that the Lieutenant Commander should have been approached before she was, he started it, but then she knew, in that moment, she was probably the easier target because of the friendship the Commander and the Lieutenant Commander shared. She sat there, listened and didn’t say a word. She had nothing to say because nothing she said would matter anyway. She couldn’t take back the words that were said in the meeting and she didn’t feel like she was wrong for saying what she said.

Almikaz, CoP

Raising her brows, which furrowed against the bulges on her forehead, Dira gazed at Surra expectantly, all too aware of the emotions the other woman was exuding. She wasn’t in any hurry for a response and she could sit here just as long at Surra could.

Her dark eyes just focused on Surra, questioning, curious.

Commander Myqian, XO

“I have nothing to say. Honestly I don’t think I owe an explanation. If you don’t understand that I was defending myself then you are just like the rest of them.” She waved her hand at the door before clutching back into a fist. “Don’t tell me to be the bigger person either because I am a counselor. I should not have to remain quiet and suffer through his condesending remarks or anyone else’s. Tell me exactly what did I say wrong in the exchange with Lieutenant Commander Kane? Yes, I countered his insults and I called him out, subtlely, on his attempts to make me appear stupid. I was defending my position. That was all I did.” She glared at the woman. “I find it interesting you chose to single me out and not the person who started it. This is not fair reprimand.”

Almikaz, CoP

Dira shook her head. “No one is being singled out here. I already told you I would be speaking with Kane as well.” Surra’s whole demeanour was oozing petulant child who didn’t want to be told off and it honestly irked Dira but she she took a breath and steadied herself, making sure she was coming across in this conversation the way and intended and needed to be.

A whole lecture was sitting in Myqian’s mind, but something Surra said made her re-think the approach. “‘Just like the rest of them’… tell me more. Who are you referring to?”

Commander Myqian, XO

She had no trust in the Commander, the situation she was currently in didn’t help. “I don’t think I will tell you anymore. It wouldn’t matter anyway.” Not like you intend to fix anything. she thought to herself.
“I am here because you are upset about the exchange I had with the CSO. An exchange I didn’t start but contributed to after he attempted to insult me in front of everyone. What do you want to say? What do you want me to do? Apologize?”

Almikaz, CoP

Dira closed her eyes and forced herself to breath. No, I want you to grow the hell up, she thought. When she looked at Surra again, her dark eyes held disappointment. “What I expect is you for you as a member of the Senior Staff and Chief of Psychiatry to lead by example. I understand fully that events took place in the meeting were aggravating to you and instead of being a part of the solution, you contributed to the issues in front of an Admiraland are continuing to be obstinate about the situation. And frankly reflects poorly not just on you but everyone in that meeting. This kind of behaviour is the kind that gets a formal reprimand on your file, Lieutenant. I don’t want to do that. I have been trying to get at the root issue that seems to be beyond a simple personality clash, and be understanding but I am honestly losing my patience. That’s on me, but if you don’t want to talk to me about it, all I can suggest as the alternative is Captain Taylor. It’s your choice.”

Commander Myqian, XO

Surra looked at Dira then sat down in one of the conference sat in chairs. She thought about what the Commander said. She was giving her a choice which meant she wasn’t out to punish her. She was trying to understand what was happening. “Okay. I will tell you what you want to know.” She crossed her arms then said, “I am having a hard time. No one, except for, Dr. Marshall…and maybe Dr. Segal, respects me and it’s frustrating. I feel like I am constantly defending myself. No one....” There was another pause, then she said a little reluctantly particularly because she was embarrassed how she just treated Dira, “but you, in that meeting, defended my professional opinion. Sometimes I just want to give.....up.” She started laughing as she heard herself, “I must sound like a spoiled child to you right now.” She placed a hand on her forehead, “Commander, I am sorry. I think frustration, exhaustion, and impatience is affecting me. I am not sure what to do for myself. I like my job I don’t want to go and I don’t want that to be an option. So I am not sure what to do.”

Almikaz, CoP

Dira took a couple slow and deep breaths, letting her own frustration exit her body so it wouldn’t have any further say in this conversation.

She gazed deeply at Almikaz for a moment and smiled softly. “Yes you do. You would do what we both would tell any patient who came to us in a similar situation. Evaluate what is true and what is not and utilize the resources available to you. So the question I have in this case is why you haven’t done so? My job is a lot of dealing with personnel issues, and my instincts tell me this has been going on at least a little while now, so why is this the first I’m hearing of it?”

Commander Myqian, XO

It was a good question. Again she started to feel embarrassed. Surra shook her head as she started to realize her mistakes. “I…I should have come to you. Instead my frustration has been building to the point its affecting me as a person. Now it’s…out of control and it’s affecting my job.” She took a breath. “I guess I thought it wasn’t as bad as it was. Really I think I didn’t want to appear incompetent.” Getting all this out she was starting to feel better. She finally looked at Dira. “I am not a bad person. I would never disrespect you, not only because you are my Commander but also because you have been kind and fair to me. I am sorry about how this conversation started. I know I wouldn’t be here if you were not concerned about me. You could have written me up instead of giving me an opportunity to explain my behavior.”

Almikaz, CoP

“Well, they do teach us in command training that everything is rarely how it appears. If we punish without getting all the facts, it doesn’t help anyone,” Dira said.

Her voice softened as she continued. “I never thought you were a bad person, Surra. But I am concerned. Earlier in this conversation you were insinuating that I was taking Kane’s side, that I didn’t understand your position because I was just like the rest of them. Help me understand where your concerns are coming from, because I do want to help. If there’s something I’ve done to make you think I won’t support you, I want to know. I’m not infallible. I can make mistakes. But I can’t fix the ones I don’t know about.” On days like this she treasured every single one of her twenty years as a psychiatrist because it allowed her to approach a situation perhaps different than she might otherwise.

Commander Myqian, XO

Surra thought back to her first sessions with Kane and how he went over her head to be treated by the Commander. “Maybe I misinterpreted some things. However, I felt underrepresented when he told me I was a bad psychiatrist and then went to you instead. It was like you validated what he saying. I had no problem with you treating him, however he was able to humiliate me by making me look incompetent.” She had been angry at Dira for allowing that. However if she’d stuck to her training she would have realized that they both had two different perspectives on the situation. She wasn’t a mind reader so she couldn’t have known the Commander’s, she had just assumed that she allowed Kane to say she was incompetent and prove his point by going to see her for treatment instead.
She folded her arms again, “Now I think he tries to embarass me every chance he gets by making me look like I am not capable of doing my job. Did you see how he talked to me in that meeting? Like I was stupid. I should be able to ignore his taunts but I can’t because now I feel like I have to defend myself because no one else will back me up.”

Almikaz, CoP