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Normalize Therapy Even for the Psychiatrist [Tag Dr. Grayson]

Posted Feb. 7, 2023, 9:44 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Psychiatrist) (Lori Miller)

Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Normalize Therapy Even for the Psychiatrist [Tag Dr. Grayson]

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Psychiatrist) in Normalize Therapy Even for the Psychiatrist [Tag Dr. Grayson]

Posted by Lieutenant Surra Almikaz (Chief of Psychiatry) in Normalize Therapy Even for the Psychiatrist [Tag Dr. Grayson]
Posted by… suppressed (15) by the Post Ghost! 👻
As the last patient exited Surra’s office, she went back to her desk, sat there for a moment, took a deep breath, and then activated the commlink on her desk. “HARLEEN, will you tell me if Dr. Grayson has finished seeing patients for the day?”

Almikaz, CoP

HARLEEN’s voice chimed in on the commlink, “It looks like Dr. Grayson has just wrapped up with her last patient.”

HARLEEN

“Thank you, HARLEEN,” Surra said as she switched the channel and called Dr. Grayson. “Mariah, do you mind stopping by my office for a moment?”

It had been a while since Surra had checked in with Dr. Grayson. They had both been busy with multiple psychiatric cases resulting from traveling in space for long periods of time, separation from families, and demanding missions that placed a toll on the crew.
However, who evaluated the psychiatrist? It was often and mistakenly believed that they had it all together as the mental health professionals on the ship, but that was not always the case. There were many times she wanted to just talk to someone and be patient. She assumed Mariah felt the same and decided that check-in was due. However, this would not be a typical check-in, here they would lean on each other for mental support and do a back-and-forth check-in.

Almikaz, CoP

Just turning away from the replicator with her mocha frappe in hand - her reward to herself for finishing the day’s work sessions, if not all her notes - Mariah tapped her com console to respond, curious what the request could mean and also grateful to put distance between herself and the documentation required, answered, “Sure. Are caffeinated beverages okay for this? If so, may I bring you something?” Grayson was prepared to recycle her drink but couldn’t discern from Almikaz’ tone whether that would be necessary.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Most beings Surra encountered did not like Klingon coffee and because the Klingons were so hostile and unwelcoming for the better part of their known existence, many had not had the opportunity to try it and of course, there was even a debate as to whether or not it was actually coffee. Surra had never actually tried the real version but the replicatd version was much more bolder and caffeinated than standard coffee from Earth.
=^=You read my mind. I would love an iced Raktajino. I will see you in a bit.=^=

Almikaz, CoP

“No problem,” Mariah answered before closing the channel. She briefly contemplated the other woman’s drink order, finding the beverage quite strong and some thing she tried not to drink too regularly or it would send her vibrating into the atmosphere. Still, she had to admit, some days it was the best remedy to keep her awake when it came to routine paperwork and other administrative matters.

The order was easily fulfilled, and it wasn’t long before Grayson found herself in front of the office door, touching the chime out of politeness.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“Come in, Dr. Grayson.”
She smiled when she saw her coffee order in Mariah’s hand. “Nothing like a good soul jolting Raktajino after the constant and persistent traffic through the psychiatry suite.” She extended her hand to accept her drink from her.
After taking a sip she made a dramatic grimace then said, “Whew! That was much stronger than I imagined it would be.” Then she extended her arm to a nearby chair. “Please have a seat, Doctor. I called you here because I wanted to touch base with you on own mental health and well being. You have been quite and I haven’t heard much from you. Therefore you are somewhat of a mystery that intrigues me.”

Almikaz, CoP

Mariah met the smile with one of her own as she sat as directed, pleased that she could do something to alleviate the discomfort of someone else, even if it was something as simple as bring a beverage. In answer to the comment of her being a mystery, she chuckled. “It’s funny you should say that, as I’ve been thinking similarly of you. To be honest, your position has been a bit of a revolving door, so I’ve been focused on keeping the department running… Keeping my head down and focusing on work as it were. I’ll be glad to share the load and begin a proper series of regular case conferences. I love my work and truthfully I am happiest when I’m helping others, but it will be nice to collaborate more regularly with someone. I’ve been over seeing the psychiatric students and it will be nice to share the red tape,” she added with a chuckle.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“A revolving door? Did you know the previous CoP very well? He seemed to be well-liked.” Surra took another sip of her coffee, but this time this second taste did not provoke the same reaction as the first. “I am so glad you have offered to share in more of the work. I will never turn down additional help. Exactly what areas are you willing to help in? Would you be willing to consult with some of the other department heads on patients they have under their care to offer a mental health perspective?” She held her coffee cup in her lap as she talked, “I typically do those myself and allow you and the other psychiatrists to focus on the day-to-day routine things like evaluations and follow-ups. Some of the other doctors on this ship can be a bit uh…vain. They will quickly tell you to get out of the way so they can do their jobs.” She shrugged and said, “They are not always friendly. I believe they think what they do is more important than what we do.”
She frowned and said, “I know one, in particular, you should just avoid. I tell you all this because I want you to be prepared for the challenges you may face.”

Almikaz, CoP

Grayson listened with interest as her fellow psychiatrist shared her perspective on the crew and how they could divide up their respective duties. She was particularly intrigued when she heard mention of a particular doctor to avoid. The arrogance of other medical professionals wasn’t unfamiliar to Mariah but she would be lying if she said it still wasn’t jarring when she encountered it. Particularly aboard the Ogawa, she expected the crew to have learned how to work together, as their welfare, as well as the welfare of their patients, depended upon it. “I didn’t know him well,” she replied, referring to the previous COP, but I had no reason to dislike him. As for consulting with the other departments, I would be happy to act as a liaison for various patients. My specialties include trauma and forensics psychiatry. I haven’t had much occasion to be called on for the latter, but the former has been quite useful and likely one of the reasons I was posted here. I don’t wish to pry, of course, but I am curious about which doctor you would like me to stay away from?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Surra nodded then said, “Great then I think that we can work as a pair to start off. I will make sure it is okay with Commander Myquian first, but you should accompany me to the next senior staff meeting. I would love to have you sit in and observe then we can compare our notes afterward.”
She paused and thought carefully before she provided an answer to Dr. Grayson’s inquiry about the doctor she had advised her to avoid. “Best not to taint your own perspective of the person. They”…she purposely did not want to use any identifying pronouns. “are accomplished and good at what they do and I am sure we will end up working closely with them in some capacity in the future. It was inappropriate for me to even mention the matter, so I apologize for it. Our issues are between us, therefore it is we who must work through them. I do not want to involve you.”

Almikaz, CoP

“I appreciate your professionalism,” Grayson replied, “and I understand your reluctance to say anything further as a clinician.” She paused, then offered, ” I don’t think many people, including our medical colleagues, fully appreciate the line we walk as mental health professionals. Because our work involves relationships and understanding people, I think this creates an expectation that we be ‘ on’ all the time. We must always be even keeled, calm, and the grown-ups in the room, or whatever it is people expect of us. If a doctor loses his or her temper doing anything but treating a patient, do people see that loss of control or that weakness as an indication of his or her skill as a physician? If a cardiologist tells terrible jokes, do people assume he’s terrible at treating hearts? I doubt it. We are held to a different standard, I believe, but that doesn’t change the fact we are as flawed and as vulnerable as any of them. All this to say, if you need an outlet, I am here. If we can’t let down the mask of professionalism in front of each other, who else could we do that for?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Bump

“You are right. It has just been a little difficult for me on this ship. I get frustrated because I feel they do not respect me. Sometimes I am under the impression they feel I am not important. My job isn’t important. I feel like I am being provoked into making mistakes. Recently when I was trying to help someone who was injured, I got an ugly look from one of the doctors like I didn’t know what I was doing or I should be there trying to render aid. I am a doctor…a D.O. but still a doctor. We were in a meeting, recently, and I swear everyone in the room was against me…except the XO. However, I know she has close ties with some of them so I tend not to trust her fully.” Surra couldn’t believe she said all that to Mariah. “I have considered resigning…finding a ship where I fit in better,” she said as she stared at her coffee mug.

Almikaz, CoP

Grayson recognized it took courage for her colleague to be not just frank, but vulnerable. Were this a true therapy session, she might not have taken so long to consider her next words, but mindful of her own previous words and her genuine desire not to leave a colleague feeling any more isolated than she already did, Grayson took several beats. The honesty also left Mariah wondering for the first time whether similar attitudes were the reason other colleagues had left. Previously, she had attributed the revolving door to the fickle minds of the Starfleet brass or people just growing tired of the workload. Now she wondered if she had been oblivious to her colleagues’ suffering and whether they had taken the slings and arrows she hadn’t watched them nobly withstand, but had actually failed to notice? “I’m sorry,” she finally replied, referring to Surra’s feelings but also in response to her unspoken guilt. “None of us should feel like we belong to an invading force, or an incompetent force, simply because we’re trying to do our jobs. I believe it’s important to address problems directly and immediately with people, but I can imagine that’s intimidating when do you think it might be you against the entire crew. I can assure you, you are not alone with this anymore, and I thank you for your honesty. In my experience, people who show these sorts of attitudes don’t just single one person out, but behave that way across the board, whether we know it or not. I’m wondering, do you think these attitudes are carried by a few people and others are just afraid to speak out against them, or do you think these attitudes are systemic and reinforced by those in leadership?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“It is a good question and I had not considered it. It could be both. It think some people are favorites. I only say that because certain things are overlooked that people should be called out on. I don’t think it’s just me either although I do not know anyone else on the ship who has had my experience and I should be aware if there are others as I am one of the counselors.” Surra really didn’t feel comfortable saying anymore.

Almikaz, CoP

Grayson didn’t want to make Surra any more self-conscious than she might have already felt, but Mariah also didn’t want to minimize or ignore the feelings expressed. That things had gotten so intense she had considered leaving spoke to just how isolating and painful the experiences must’ve been. Knowing that this was a delicate conversation given how vulnerable the other woman appeared, Grayson once again took her time to find her next words. “No one can be all knowing, especially if people are determined to hide it. I’m getting the impression from what you shared, you’ve seen some ethically concerning things, and while that’s important to consider, at this moment, I’m more focused on making sure we stick together. Besides acting like bullies and dismissing your expertise, has anyone personally threatened or hurt you?”

“No. Thank God.” she said, “Maybe I am just being immature about it all. My father use to say I have “only child syndrome”. He meant that I wasn’t good at accepting rejection, and also implied that I was a little spoiled. However, as an adult, I am aware that things will not always go as I like them. And while I do have issues with rejection I think I am competent enough to neutralize the emotions that are stirred up from it.”

Mariah couldn’t help but notice Surra was guilty of what they could all be guilty of different times - buying into the belief that emotions were meant to be neutralized and the problems that created the most distressing of them were meant to be managed alone. Naturally, Grayson found herself wanting to learn more about the other woman’s childhood, but she had to remind herself this was not an evaluation. Workplace hazards. She didn’t entirely disagree with the challenges of being an only child. Lord knew, she had her own baggage in that department. Still, she couldn’t shake the sense Surra was encouraged to minimize her emotions more than she was encouraged to identify and honor them.

Mariah wasn’t trying to jump to conclusions or overreact, but unless she was completely off base, she had the sense there might be more to this than what she had uncovered on the surface. Considering the circumstances that would make her consider leaving altogether, Grayson wondered if the issue was more concerning than annoying and that also left her thinking that leaving was her only option. She quickly followed up with, “… I know this can’t be easy for you to talk about, but I’m glad you did. As I said, we have to stick together. This job is isolating enough and frustrating enough at times as it is. Many of these burdens are better left shared, especially when they can remain confidential.” Of course, if there were ethics being violated, that would open up a whole other can of worms professionally, but right now Grayson was more interested in supporting her fellow psychiatrist.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“I appreciate you listening to all this. Also, I do feel much better to have an ally. I think we should start going to the senior meetings together. That way we can support each other if something should come up. I will vouch for your presence there. I think it would be great to have you there so you can observe the environment and get a sense of it yourself. Then you can tell me honestly if my musings are valid. I trust that you will be honest and I also trust your opinion.”

Almikaz, CoP

Mariah smiled. “I’d appreciate the opportunity to participate in the staff meetings, and I agree it would help for me to assess things, but I promise if I do, it won’t be to minimize or discount your perspective. Perhaps it will just give us insight into how to change things, yeah? Change is our business after all.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist


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