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Psych check-in: Paging Dr Grayson

Posted June 8, 2023, 1:34 p.m. by Lieutenant Achilleas Petrakos (Chief Science Officer) (Matt Evans)

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Chief of Psychiatry) in Psych check-in: Paging Dr Grayson

Posted by Lieutenant Achilleas Petrakos (Chief Science Officer) in Psych check-in: Paging Dr Grayson

Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Dr. Mariah Lee Grayson (Chief of Psychiatry) in Psych check-in: Paging Dr Grayson
Posted by… suppressed (12) by the Post Ghost! 👻
Achilleas found himself back in the psychology wing lobby. The last time he was here was because he ‘needed’ someone to talk to. Now he was back because he ‘needed’ to get his psych eval done. The difference between the situations was that he was on the fence being here before but he didn’t really want to be here now. Why couldn’t they take his clean bill of health from Starfleet Medical? Oh well. It was better just to get this over with.

With a big sigh he walked up to the woman sitting at the reception desk. “Hi again.” He said with a slight smile. “I need to get my boarding psych eval complete before I can go to work. Might I ask who might be available to help?”

Sci Petrakos

HARLEEN looked at the science officer and said, “Hmm, it looks like you had an appointment with Dr. Grayson. She isn’t in right now, but Dr. Almikaz is available. Why don’t you have a seat and I will let her know you are here.”

HARLEEN moved from behind the receptionist’s desk, there was a slight glitch in her holographic appearance as she made her way to Surra’s office. “Dr. Almikaz, Dr. Grayson’s patient has arrived, but she isn’t available right now. Do you want to take him?”

HARLEEN

Surra looked at HARLEEN and nodded, “Please send him in.”

Almikaz, CoP

OOC: I appreciate your stepping in to help out but I’ve already pre-planned this thread with Lori. So thank you but I will be waiting for her.

Matt

OOC Lori: Thanks, Matt, for waiting for me, and thank you, Mika, for stepping in. I know I am not as responsive as I should be (working on that) and you were just trying to help. :-). I’m going to start from the arrival.

The doors to Mariah’s office slid open and she came down the hallway to the reception desk, pleased to see Achilleas was right on time. That suggested a certain level of cooperation Grayson could appreciate. At least she wouldn’t be chasing the science officer down, as sometimes she had to do with other crew, even though they were all serving on a ship that prioritized the well-being of others. Helpers, naturally, weren’t used to being on the receiving end of help.

“Hello, Lieutenant,” Mariah greeted. “I’m ready for you if you’d like to follow me back?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“Yes, of course.” Achilleas responded with a nervous smile as he followed Mariah back to her office. His body language didn’t necessarily come across as cagey but maybe more of a nervous jittery. It would be obvious to a trained professional that he didn’t want to be here but orders were orders. A look into his most recent psych profile from Starfleet Medical would show that his absence from the Ogawa was due to him requiring medical and psychological intervention due to a relapse from the fungal infection the crew had experienced at Starbase 157. It appeared that he was the only one who had a relapse among the crew and that necessitated specialized care beyond what the Ogawa could provide.

Sci Petrakos

Mariah offered a reassuring smile before turning back to lead the way to her office. She had learned long ago not to read too much into anyone’s initial expressions on the way into her office, she fully understood people had mixed emotions about psychological evaluations and therapy in particular. What matter to Grayson was Achilleas had shown up. Everything else could be sorted with time.

Entering the office, she gestured to the variety of chairs available to the science officer and offered the usual questions without sounding board or robotic. “Please, make yourself comfortable. May I get you something from the replicator?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Achilleas took a seat in one of the chairs and shifted it slightly so that it didn’t quite face the counselor’s desk or any other chair. The asymmetry appealed to his mood at the moment. He wasn’t sure what to do with his hands so he ended up crossing his. “No, but thank you Doc. I appreciate the offer. I’m just in the mood for getting the boarding eval over and done with. I’ve had a year of being psychoanalyzed, treated, reassessed, put on this medication, taken off that medication, all of that lovely stuff.”

Sci Petrakos

Mariah nodded in sympathy. “I won’t say I know exactly how it feels, but I can imagine. I’m sorry if this experience left you feeling more like a specimen as opposed to a sentient being. My intention is not to speak to you because I think there’s something wrong with you, but because you have been through hell and back, and just deserve an opportunity to be heard, not poked or prodded.”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

Achilleas showed a slight smile before he sighed. “I don’t blame the folks at Starfleet Medical for everything that went on. I get that it was necessary and that my life and mental wellbeing were at stake. If we had a way of selectively suppressing certain memories and their accompanying emotions, I would jump at the chance to do so. I toyed with the idea of developing a chemical solution for that while I was still at Earth, but the side effects are too unpredictable to really risk it. So anyway…” He took a deep breath before shifting topics. “I’ve got a bit of anxiety wondering if I’m actually ready to be back despite all the assurances from my doctor back at Medical. I know I can do the job, but can I deal with the people and those who might’ve seen my episode? I don’t know.”

Sci Petrakos

Mariah listened as her fellow scientist posed the possibility of healing from trauma by simply leaping over it with the right chemicals. It wasn’t an outlandish idea, scientifically speaking, but as Achilleas mentioned, not without its pitfalls. Grayson was a scientist, of course, but her clinical experience had taught her repeatedly the best way to deal with trauma was to face it directly. Anything else, no matter how seemingly neurologically feasible, just struck her as high-tech avoidance.

“That is another aspect of your recovery that can’t be managed with medication and testing,” Mariah agreed with a gentle smile and slight nod. “What do you most fear when it comes to dealing with the people who may have seen your ‘episode’?”

~ Dr. Mariah Grayson, Psychiatrist

“Pity.” Achilleas answered immediately. “You might think it would be fear or rejection but those can be handled given time and a bit of effort but pity completely ignores any of the effort you’ve put in. To those who pity you, you will always be someone that something bad happened to that was outside of your control. While this may initially be true I feel that it’s so much harder to change that viewpoint.”

Sci Petrakos

Mariah cocked her head to one side in curiosity. “‘Always’ is a word that describes an absolute, a reality not impacted by the passage of time. I wonder, what evidence do you have that, assuming people pity you, it will always be so?”

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief of Psychiatry

“Perhaps I’m overexaggerating it, but it does feel like the stigma of being pitied will last for all eternity.” Achilleas said with a small shrug. “Even if the memory of events will fade from the collective conscious memory of everyone who experienced the ‘incident’ or heard about it, I’ll still remember it vividly like a haunting nightmare.”

Sci Petrakos

Mariah nodded, taking a moment to allow them both to sit with their thoughts. “What will that mean to you? If you have a memory of the ‘incident’?” His use of the word incident only served to reinforce the fact he was trying to distance himself from it and whatever personal significance he gave the experience. It made sense given its traumatic nature, but it also revealed there was much more healing to do.

~Dr. Mariah Grayson, Chief Psychiatrist

“That something entirely out of my control happened to bring me pain, shame, and powerlessness.” Achilleas responded quietly. The powerlessness was what bothered him the most. It was as if a horror movie was being played out and he was the monster. He had to watch everything that the not him did. The raging, the cursing, the struggling against people pinning him down, the urge to mete violence upon everyone within reach. His breathing began to become erratic and hurried as he slipped back into experiencing it all again.

Sci Petrakos


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