Posted by Lieutenant Commander Ever Zeanar (Chief of Psychiatry) in SB 157: Ensign Tell’s Psych. Evaluation - Counsellor’s Temp. Office

Posted by Ensign Ralin Tell (Security Officer) in SB 157: Ensign Tell’s Psych. Evaluation - Counsellor’s Temp. Office

Posted by Ensign Ralin Tell (Security Officer) in SB 157: Ensign Tell’s Psych. Evaluation - Counsellor’s Temp. Office
Posted by… suppressed (1) by the Post Ghost! 👻
SNIP
“A new life, another start. I do apologise for not having had the opportunity to read your file. But then again, it gives me the chance to see you fresh and not through someone else’s eyes,” Ever said taking a long sip of cold water. The vase was one that had belonged to her mother and was specially formed to keep liquid cold longer. The tall sleek blue vase had been purchased while her parents had been on their honeymoon on Alpha Centauri. One of only three items Ever had brought from Betazoid, it was the only thing of her mother’s she had kept. 

“Happy is good. How do you see your role as a security officer in a way that helps? I mean beyond the normal and obvious of keeping the ship and crew safe,” Ever said titling her head sideways slightly, allowing her long black hair to fall forward over her shoulder. Not taking her dark eyes from him, he held her complete attention. 

Lt Commander Ever Zeanar, CoP

The watchful eyes of the ensign inspected Ever closely as she drank. At her query, he somehow straightened up despite his already excellent posture. “Commander, I’ve put a lot of evil in the world in my past. That ended when I… When I…” The man’s thumb gently massaged the spots along his temple, threatening to rub the blots away, each barely visible against his already dark skin.

High level of awareness of her movements, did not go unnoticed by the counsellor. How much of one’s person was directed by that, guided by fear and inner madness if not mindful  of watching too long. Matched with equal alertness her own dark gaze lingered towards the place on his face unchanged by touch. Forcing herself to wait for another response, not rushing for a quick solution, Ever sat silently. 

As he paused he pressed his eyes shut and moments later the hand bearing his stroking thumb fell into his lap. His serene gaze rose back to meet Zeanar’s. “That became my past when a was reborn.” His voice had risen in his throat, assuming a more feminine resonance. “Ralin wis replaced by Ralin Tell but Ralin is still in here.” A finger launched to meet his head in a point yet landed lightly, barely if at all making contact.

What infinite number of combinations, born and reborn had this man, this woman.....no these beings.... lived and died? One lifetime carrying into the next, alive with new lips to kiss new loves,  new hopes and dreams, young and beautiful to old and fragile, cycling back again. Each life torn apart and put back together again, leaving the next random vessel unhinged with aching memories and thoughts not one’s own. 

The sudden motion shook the man back to his previous manner. “A’ll never make right on that past. But standing for those who need it most… that I can. This is the place to find the needers. A lucky assignment, for me.”

Ensign Ralin Tell - Security

Bump :)

“Regret might be counterproductive, but convincing ourselves not to listen to our hearts can lead to an unbreakable cycle of over thinking and unhappiness. It can overshadow pleasure and hold us back from fulfilling our potential. As much as we might like to think we can out run the bad with good deeds, that just isn’t as possible as it seems it should be,” Ever said leaning back and crossing one leg over the other. She gently rocked her foot, choosing her words. “I think it is commendable that you have a higher purpose of serving others and I would really like to help you achieve everything you want Ensign. Though I am sure the Academy went through your past, I get the feeling it’s still lingering. If you are willing, I think together we can fuse and heal the rifts between past and present.” 

Zeanar, CoP

Ralin’s eyes fell to the table as Ever set the direction of the conversation. “Av spent lots a time with counsellors and thychiatrists since joining the Academy. And am happy to be here with you. But there is no peace to be had with my past. Ralin would be spending his life in a Federation prison if it not for the Tell in the name. I am said to be innocent only because they cannot charge Ralin alone no more. Ralin is dead to the law but no to me.” A hand covered his face, hiding his ever communicative eyes from Ever.

Soon after, he looked up at the woman. “Slaving. Kidnapping. Breaking of families.” His voice was again more proper as he reeled off the list of crimes. He gulped before concluding. “Complicity in violence and murder. This being, Ralin Tell, wis born in sin. His crew killed Elron Tell. He fought that fight with em.” A tight fist then pressed firmly into his chest. “I carry this with me, young lady. It is at my very core. I’m in tha rare place o’ knowing what decides the course o’ a life. I’ve lived several. I know that the core never changes.” The distinct muscles of the man’s neck danced to the passion of his words. “I appreciate yer being here to help me be the best me I can. But… who I am is regret. Regret and the duty I choose because of it. Tell will live on beyond this life. Ralin will not. That I allow this life to contain warmth and friends and laughter at all is a weakness of will. I am living a life sentence. That is my purpose as long as Ralin lives.” The Trill’s stare intensified as he went on. By the time he finished speaking, he was probing her inner self with great intent. The passion in his eyes was marked. Was it sadness? Excitement? Anger? It seemed to be all of them at once.

Ensign Ralin Tell - Security

Bump :)

Emotions from the security officer were a storm brewing with an uncertain outcome of calm dissipation or turmoil filled with potential destruction. Even for a gifted empath, Ever could not pick one from the next. Trapped beneath layers of darkness pain laid bare. Suffering or strength. Perhaps a bit of both. No matter how many lives this Trill had lived or would live, this wound would never finish, but carried generation after generation. Yet sometimes the dawn brought light or  a starry night. Darkness hid it’s deep desires within the bleakness of wrong deed denying justice or peace for this man and others to come after him. Some of faith would argue or agree that good deeds paved pathways to immortality. Whilst evil doings stripped life and soul to permanent violence and eternal suffering. Ever believed it was that struggle in-between those thoughts and emotions that defined good and evil. Battle on.  All hail God, all hail Satan. 

“This is your part to master. Finding the balance. How do you reconcile what you are with who you hope to be?” Ever asked as her eyes watched him intently. He gave away little with his face, thoughts or emotions she could pin down as one thing. For a telepath, she found that both intriguing and frustrating. 

Lt. Commander Ever Zeanar, CoP

The young (yet so very old) man shook his head and his whole self. He was finding Ever difficult to read but he knew he was worried about coming across as some kind of broody sociopath. “Sorry ma’am. I can get… worked oop when going on about maself.” He smiled. It was a warm, friendly, sugary smile that belonged on the face of a ten year old. “I am who I am. I make do with what I’ave. My future is quite simple as it goes. I want it to be as positive for those around me as can be.”

His bulky weight shifted uncomfortably. “My past is bit more complex thaugh.” Tell leaned forward and rested his head in hands supported by desk mounted elbows. “I was not prepared at all for my joining. Ralin had no idea what a Trill even was. I lived, of course. That is both Ralin and Tell lived to become me. It didn’t go all right thoaugh. My lack or prep has meant that ma relationship with ma past isn’t what it should be. The past of Tell, that is. I was Elron and I was Alunah and the others, that’s all fine. They’re just not in quite the… balance that thea should be.”

Ralin rolled his jaw and his shoulders as he considered his wording, each motion accentuating his well defined form. “I don’t always feel fully attached to all of those lives. The memories of those lifetimes was dumped on a being, half of which was totally unprepared. When my passions are going I’ll sometimes fall into digging into the memories of one past Tell or another. I dunno how much of that is just me imagining that am losing control when ma heart gets racing. Over time, I for sure find myself discovering new segments of my past as if they’re new, leaning into them… but they’re no new, I lived them.” Tell sighed heartily and looked up at the counsellor from the position on the desk his eyes had slowly fallen to during his stream of consciousness.

Ensign Ralin Tell - Security