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Security Office - What would you do for a Klondike Bar

Posted Oct. 7, 2021, 11:04 p.m. by Lieutenant Commander Barbara Roberts (Strategic Operations Officer) (Kate O'Neill)

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Charles Tenkiller (Chief of Security) in Security Office - What would you do for a Klondike Bar

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Barbara Roberts (Strategic Operations Officer) in Security Office - What would you do for a Klondike Bar
The office was quiet but what would one expect at 0200 hours on a Thursday. Normal people were asleep. Normal people were in their beds. The only people in the world up this late were in bed sleeping, in bed doing various forms of aerobic activity, getting drunk at a bar, or paying the piper. Most did not want the graveyard shift and only got her through some misdeed prior to this shift. This was Barbie’s conundrum. While it was not exactly her fault, she still was on her hands and knees, with a flashlight, crawling under desks and sweeping corners of the room as if she was SWAT and not science. While she fully encouraged people to explore science, Ms. Macklebee’s Kindergarten class had taken it to the extreme. Now she had one option: Fix the problem. She was so focused on the task, she did not even notice her trail had taken her down two floors and into the security office. The room appeared empty but when one was only looking two feet off the ground, you were not as observant as if you were fully erect.

Moving across the floor, she paused for a second looking at her tricorder before moving around a corner and into an office on the side of the large, open space. The scanner blipped once indicating she was close. Moving slowly she continued to crawl under the desk in front of her. It was just blind luck that she was small enough to fit under the space in front so that she could come up underneath the desk. “There you are,” she said slowly. “Whatever you do don’t move. Come here my little pretty. I am not going to hurt you. I promise. I mean look at me,” she began to speak slowly and in a happy tone although it was slightly forced. “Just sit still, take a deep breath, and let this happen.”

Lt. Barbara Roberts Science.

Ensign Holder had had a baby two days ago. Ensign Holder was the Lead Security Officer for Gamma shift. But again… Ensign Holder had just had a baby so Ensign Holder was not the Lead Security Officer for Gamma Shift that night. So it was not Ensign Holder who was reading security reports that somehow resembled Bajoran Comic Books. It was not Ensign Holder who had their feet propped up on the desk at 0200. It was not Ensign Holder’s legs the blonde scientist was between as she whispered sweet nothings to… whatever a blonde scientist whispers sweet nothings to at 0200 while crawling on her hands and knees under strange desks. And it was not Ensign Holder who peered between their legs at the scientist.

“Now usually I at least gotta take a woman to dinner before we become so… familiar.” the Oklahoma drawl-laden voice of the station’s Security Chief said.

Tenkiller, CoS

Barbie was so entranced and hyperfocused, the ethereal voice from beyond did not cause her to look up. Instead, she reared up whacking the top of her head on the bottom of the desk writing surface the coffee on it rippled slightly. “Mary Mother and Joseph,” she yelled loud as the clunk seemed to radiate still in the room bouncing off the walls and other hard surfaces. “What the,” she rubbed her head before her face fell from confused to anxious. “No no no no. Don’t move,” she said instantly gaining her composure as she popped up like a gopher next to his knees. Luckily his feet were propped up on the desk and she didn’t come up between his feet flat on the ground pointing in the direction she just came from. If she had, and someone saw, it could lead to many a questions but appearances were not important right now.

Looking up at the man she now realized was also in the room, she shined the flashlight directly at his face. “Whatever you do don’t move. You are like 180,” she asked letting her eyes trace his body. “Size fifteen shoe?”

Barbie Roberts.


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