Posted by Lieutenant Commander Charles Tenkiller (Chief of Security) in Security Office - What would you do for a Klondike Bar

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Jessica Teller (XO) in Security Office - What would you do for a Klondike Bar

Posted by Lieutenant Commander Charles Tenkiller (Chief of Security) in Security Office - What would you do for a Klondike Bar
Posted by… suppressed (15) by the Post Ghost! 👻
The office was quiet but what would one expect at 0200 hours on a Thursday. Normal people were asleep. Normal people were in their beds. The only people in the world up this late were in bed sleeping, in bed doing various forms of aerobic activity, getting drunk at a bar, or paying the piper. Most did not want the graveyard shift and only got her through some misdeed prior to this shift. This was Barbie’s conundrum. While it was not exactly her fault, she still was on her hands and knees, with a flashlight, crawling under desks and sweeping corners of the room as if she was SWAT and not science. While she fully encouraged people to explore science, Ms. Macklebee’s Kindergarten class had taken it to the extreme. Now she had one option: Fix the problem. She was so focused on the task, she did not even notice her trail had taken her down two floors and into the security office. The room appeared empty but when one was only looking two feet off the ground, you were not as observant as if you were fully erect.

Moving across the floor, she paused for a second looking at her tricorder before moving around a corner and into an office on the side of the large, open space. The scanner blipped once indicating she was close. Moving slowly she continued to crawl under the desk in front of her. It was just blind luck that she was small enough to fit under the space in front so that she could come up underneath the desk. “There you are,” she said slowly. “Whatever you do don’t move. Come here my little pretty. I am not going to hurt you. I promise. I mean look at me,” she began to speak slowly and in a happy tone although it was slightly forced. “Just sit still, take a deep breath, and let this happen.”

Lt. Barbara Roberts Science.

Ensign Holder had had a baby two days ago. Ensign Holder was the Lead Security Officer for Gamma shift. But again… Ensign Holder had just had a baby so Ensign Holder was not the Lead Security Officer for Gamma Shift that night. So it was not Ensign Holder who was reading security reports that somehow resembled Bajoran Comic Books. It was not Ensign Holder who had their feet propped up on the desk at 0200. It was not Ensign Holder’s legs the blonde scientist was between as she whispered sweet nothings to… whatever a blonde scientist whispers sweet nothings to at 0200 while crawling on her hands and knees under strange desks. And it was not Ensign Holder who peered between their legs at the scientist.

“Now usually I at least gotta take a woman to dinner before we become so… familiar.” the Oklahoma drawl-laden voice of the station’s Security Chief said.

Tenkiller, CoS

Barbie was so entranced and hyperfocused, the ethereal voice from beyond did not cause her to look up. Instead, she reared up whacking the top of her head on the bottom of the desk writing surface the coffee on it rippled slightly. “Mary Mother and Joseph,” she yelled loud as the clunk seemed to radiate still in the room bouncing off the walls and other hard surfaces. “What the,” she rubbed her head before her face fell from confused to anxious. “No no no no. Don’t move,” she said instantly gaining her composure as she popped up like a gopher next to his knees. Luckily his feet were propped up on the desk and she didn’t come up between his feet flat on the ground pointing in the direction she just came from. If she had, and someone saw, it could lead to many a questions but appearances were not important right now.

Looking up at the man she now realized was also in the room, she shined the flashlight directly at his face. “Whatever you do don’t move. You are like 180,” she asked letting her eyes trace his body. “Size fifteen shoe?”

Barbie Roberts.

Tenkiller blinked in the bright light but didn’t move per the instructions of the woman. “Well… my daddy always told me that when a beautiful woman is between your legs you’ve either done something very right… or you’re about ta do sumthin’ very wrong. And maybe work on you’re sizing there. Size twelve and about 160.” He looked down at her, careful not to move for whatever reason, and said “And you are what… a buck thirty? Size eight shoe? And do ya normally introduce yerself to men in their office by crawling under their desk and between their legs? I mean don’t get me wrong, its effective. In fact I sincerely doubt I will forget ya anytime soon, that’s for sure.”

Tenkiller, CoS

Barbie let out a full-bodied laugh as she rocked back on her heels sitting up. Kinda on the skinny side, she thought. At 160 pounds, he was on the lean side but the length of his body and the size of his feet let her make some assumptions. “You nailed the weight but my feet are half the size of yours which comes in handy when I am buying sneakers. Let’s me shop in the kid’s section and save a ton,” she joked back.

Tenkiller looked down, still not moving, and said “Fair enough. So… couple ‘a questions for ya, if ya don’t mind. One, why can’t I move. Two, why are you here. Three, and perhaps the most important… who the hell are you and why are you between my legs? Again… not necessarily complainin’… but certainly a might curious.” and he laughed softly.

Tenkiller, CoS

Barbie let out a full-bodied laugh as she rocked back on her heels sitting up. She had a thousand other snappy comebacks and would have loved to have spent the new few minutes in casual banter but a flash out of the corner of her eye pulled her attention from the man in the seat above her.

“I’m,” her voice trailed off slightly before a string of expletives streamed from her lips. “Shoot. Shoot, shoot, shoot, shoot,” she murmured and half yelled. Moving as fast as she could from her crouch, Barbie crossed the small office space and leaped forward towards the wall to her right. Her hands cupped the ground as if trying to catch something but when she raised them, the man in the chair did not need to see that they were empty. He could tell by the frown on her face something was clearly not as she had expected. “I am SOL,” she spelled out looking back at him.

Looking at the wall where she had football tackled an imagined pigskin, she turned her hand around rapping on the metal wall. When the sound was no longer solid but hollow she glanced back at the man in the chair. “Twelve,” she said know one personal thing about the man in the room. “I need to get this hatch open now,” she said slowly but firmly as if in an emergency. “We don’t have time for engineering. You have a sonic screwdriver or flamethrower. I think a photon grenade might be too much,” she added but her tone said she hadn’t completely erased the last one as a possibility.

Barbie

Tenkiller looked at her for a moment and then said “Ok listen… as fun as this is, you’re gonna have to tell me what the hell is going on before I open that access panel. I mean… I’d be a crap Security Chief if I just opened doors for everybody. Kinda defeats the purpose of my job, don’t ya think?” As he spoke, he moved towards the hatch and opened the small access pad on the left side of the locked panel.

“Not really. I would consider it helpful and probably requires a lot less paperwork,” she said with a hint of a grin tugging at the corners of her mouth. “I mean you start asking questions. I start telling you about the hot holo set in the back of my trunk. Now you need to ask all sorts of pesky things like is it mine,” Barbie’s tone took on a playful banter. She made sure had a wide eyed innocence expression that was supposed to read as why officer how could I do anything wrong. “If my answer is no,” she continued with the fake monologue’ “not you are forced to do things like follow up, read me my rights….handcuff me.” She let her voice trail off slightly wondering with a bemused expression where Tenkiller was taking the edge of her unfinished sentence. “So no your wouldn’t be a crap chief if you just open this door. In fact you would be helpful,” she reached out pulling a bit of lint off his collar. “So why doncha just pull that cover off and follow me in. You security types do like adventure right?”

“Ya don’t have to give the minute crap. Sum it up in two sentences and let’s get… whatever this is… handled.”

Tenkiller, CoS

“Two words,” she extended her index finger and then her middle finger as she said slowly,” Mesocricetus auratus. Now you can go Bang that out and be boring or you can follow me because I am on a time crunch and a life does depend on it.” Barbie was a tad more serious with the end. She was however slightly interested in where this man’s sense of adventure. “Besides you are the security chief. Surprise is your middle name. Aren’t you supposed to jumó head long into the fray and pretext me while I am asleep alone in my bed?”

Barbie Roberts

Tenkiller grinned and said “At least it ain’t a spider. Rodents I can handle.” and he winked at her as he opened the panel. “And hell no I don’t jump headlong into danger. I plan ahead and make sure cute blonde scientists jump first. Then I get to play the knight in shining armor and come rescue ‘em. I get more dates that way, it really is a good system. Now the doors open, girlie… shake your tail feathers and lets get us a hamster.” and he pulled two fusion lights off the wall and handed her one.

Tenkiller, CoS

Barbie ran the top of her teeth over her bottom lip raking it slightly. It was the only way to keep her emotions in control. “The body is an eight but the brain is a ten so let’s go,” she winked back and began to enter the Jefferies tube. A few steps in she reached her hand back to her hips with an open palm. Wiggling her fingers a bit she responded with a single word, “flashlight.”

“Because you asked so nicely and all…” Tenkiller said sarcastically as he handed her the plasma light.

The passageway was dim but not dark. Small safety lights illuminated the passageway so engineers could find their way out even if their lights cut off. The flashlights helped but what she was looking for tended to blend into the walls.

Tenkiller produced a tricorder and then poked the back of the woman’s leg with it while trying not to get a face full of aft-section. “Here… scan for it.”

Tenkiller, CoS

“Tried that but these things don’t really differentiate between genus and species. I mean thank god right. If machines could do it all then the robot overlords have won.” Her tone was casual but neutral not indicating one way or another if she really believed what she was saying. “I mean do you know how many Arach....I mean hamsters are on the station. It is nearly impossible to isolate them all and beam them off. It would be like trying to get rid of a pair of mating tribbles.” Barbie still reached behind her and took the tricorder. She had not been one hundred percent honest about this venture but she really needed to get into the tube. Having someone along to help her was just a bonus. “So buck sixty twelve do you have a name?”

Using the scanner was not the worst idea. At least when the time came to grab the thing it would be easier using a name than yo or dude in the wrangling process.

Barbie Roberts Science

“Yeah, I do. Don’t most people?” Tenkiller asked with a hint of humor in his voice. “Besides… I asked you first.”

Tekiller, CoS

“Barbara but most people call me Barbie. Probably has something to do with the cup size and blonde hair and no I can’t see my feet when I look down. Just answering your next question even if you don’t know me well enough to ask it.” Barbie had a sense of humor. Hopefully, Tenkiller saw that in her comment. She had no issues with her body or the way she looked and how people perceived her. It did no good to get on a soapbox about how smart she was. Only crazy people worried that someone needed to be told not to judge a book by its cover. Sure some book jackets were more dazzling than others but that didn’t mean the text inside was boring or better than another book. Barbie knew the metaphorical book cover of her life turned heads. She also knew only the most interesting people got past her first chapter. The jury was out on Tenkiller but she had a good feeling. I mean the man ripped off a vent cover for her and was now crawling through a Jefferies tube with her. For Barbie that meant she at least wanted to get to Chapter two of the life of the man, she was now calling Twelve.

Barbie Roberts.

“Nice to meet ya, Barbara. I’m Charles. Most people here call me Chief… for the job, not the rank… and those who know me well enough call me Skip. Story behind that, but its more suited to drinks and not rodent tracking. Look at your left. Something nibbled on that insulation. Recently, too. Auto repair will have that handled in under 5 minutes. So we’re close.” He paused for a second and thought about a statement she said, a confused look on his face; not that she could see it from behind her behind. “And what’dya mean you can’t see your feet when you look dow- … oh. Right. Got it.” he said with a shake of his head and a slight smile.

Tenkiller, CoS.

Barbie turned slightly in the tube and gave him a lop-sided smile. “Took you longer than most,” she laughed it off giving him a wink. Looking at the chewed wires Barbara’s brow wrinkled. “I think that is more of the average mouse but probably not a rat. Rat would have gnawed through that like it was a hunk of cheese. Still not it,” she put a finger to her nose in the classic kid gesture of not being the one to be picked. It might also be most appreciated if you delayed that call to engineering or better yet just let them find this. I mean its not like one of my critters got down here and they are just going to blame the Arachna-Rodentia Extravaganza. Whenever we have it people are always like Dude I found your snake in the refresher or get it off get it off,” Barbie changed voices imitatiing people, “when you let them hold a spider. Its not like I am giving them a pit viper that will kill them. People just need to learn to enjoy nature more right…right?”she answered the question as if it were rhetorical.

Barbie Roberts.

Tenkiller looked at her and said “You do realize this isn’t some 17th century sailing vessel crossing the Atlantic to go the New World or some s#!+, right? We actually don’t have mice and rats and weasles running amok in the station? I mean, where do you think we are? Congress?”

Barbie let out a huge laugh that shook her body. “You think there is nothing small and fuzzy that goes bump in the night lurking in a station this size? A female mouse can give birth to a litter of pups after just three weeks. Now a typical litter is 5 to six babies and within a year one mouse can have five to ten litters. She can also have a litter every month or so. The babies are able to produce their own first litter about two months after they are born. We have a joke about mice. When you see one there are typically eight you don’t see. Master and apprentice…two there are,” she said in an odd voice. Barbie had no idea if Charles got the reference but it didn’t matter. “I mean we both know there are rodents in the forest but do we ever really see them hiking? Food for thought.” She didn’t press the point. Most people never realized how intelligent animals were and on a station this size, it would not be the first time someone’s pet got loose. There were a million places for it to hide and roam and never been seen. If the security chief felt better thinking the Outpost was a sterile, clean environment she was fine with that.

Tenkiller quickly glanced past her and said “There! There it goes!” and pointed at a small, round, furry ball suddenly appeared put from under a liquid cooling pipe and made a break down the access tube.

Tenkiller, CoS

Barbie’s head snapped around as she began to crawl as fast as she could towards it. On her hands and knees it was slowing her down but she was determined. Closing the gap she judged the small distance and decided to go for it. Lurching forward she dove out with one hand stretched like she was a receiver on a football team. Her hand closed around something soft and fuzzy. “Gotcha,” she said immediately leaning backing the direction Charles was still heading. “Come to momma,” she said in a happy tone as she then began to back up in the opposite direction she had been heading.

Barbie Roberts