STF

Sickbay – Is it Hot in Here? [TAG: Captain; CMO]

Posted April 30, 2022, 8:47 p.m. by Lieutenant Commander T’Aria (XO / Navigation Officer) (Trin S)

Posted by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor) in Sickbay – Is it Hot in Here? [TAG: Captain; CMO]

Posted by Lieutenant Commander T’Aria (XO / Navigation Officer) in Sickbay – Is it Hot in Here? [TAG: Captain; CMO]

Posted by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor) in Sickbay – Is it Hot in Here? [TAG: Captain; CMO]

(Snip!)

Again, Kastarak was in agreement. He was embarrassed – and fully consciously aware of that emotion – that he was quite incapacitated already and of little use.

“I don’t know where to even begin. I seem unable to use my cognitive function well at this point. Do you know how to start? If so, might I be able to rest, perhaps sleep, for a while?”

“We are dealing with a virus whose behaviour mimics many known flus,” T’Aria assured, “I expect we can inhibit the virus’ spread by blocking the neuraminidase protein that enables the virion to detach from its host cell.” It was an old Earth method that changed the lock on the virion’s key. She understood the inherent risks in enlisting a primitive agent against a novel threat, but she chose to judge its worthy by efficacy, not perceived antiquity.

The lock-and-key mechanism was the rational choice.

“We…” T’Aria wavered, narrowly aware she processed her thoughts aloud, appearing to have a one-sided conversation with herself. How much had Kastarak heard? Even worse, what had she divulged? T’Aria could not recall what she had said, only that she had said something. “Ahem,” she cleared her throat to distract from her flushed cheeks, “yes… rest. I will monitor your condition.”

Why was he sicker than T’Aria? Was the infection so speedy that it was already begnning to recover in T’Aria’s body? Had she stronger immune system? Had she perhaps been closer to Romulans somehow, intimate, in any way, at some point, that made her pick up some antibodies? That seemed unlikely. She had been on this ship for a year, but could they linger longer…?

He lied down on the floor.

T’Aria moved to the computer terminal and pulled up files referencing a neuraminidase block.

“Have you ever met a Romulan? Touched one?” he asked, as he put his head on a makeshift pillow on the floor, that he had made from the top shirt of his uniform. As he lay there, with his undershirt, he wondered if he needed a blanket, and how he would go about to get one, but was satisfied that he would not need one with his fever being as high as it was. He was comfortable enough.

– Dr Kastarak

Excuse me? Her mind urged her to retort, but she caught and contained its ill-founded offence before it reached her lips. What prompted such a question? T’Aria peered over the terminal with furrowed eyebrows, concern-laced confusion dancing in her eyes. Was he referencing her relationship with Symar? No, there was no way he could know unless he withheld it from her out of respect for his superior. Illogical.

T’Aria staggered – was her own omission illogical?

Halting, she distanced herself from the question and focused on Kastarak. She doubted he would ask about her contact unless it had scientific merit. Perhaps this was his action to trace the virus to its origin on Chernov? If she was indeed Patient 0, then it was natural to speculate that she came into contact with a known vector: Romulans.

“I have,” T’Aria admitted with great conflict evident in her tone, “but that event was unrelated to the away mission. Why do you ask?”

— T’Aria

Kastarak raised an eye-brow, as he lifted his head from his make-shift pillow to get a better look at T’Aria’s demeanour. “When?”

And then, he felt emotions of anger and hatred come over him. He hated Romulans. They had travelled in time to destroy his home planet. They had killed his mother and father and all his siblings and friends. His heritage.

“And why?” he asked, a bit more loudly than the previous question.

T’Aria braced herself against the computer terminal and bowed her head so Kastarak could not see her conflict. His first question expired before she could muster the courage to react, but the second hit with a force that stole her breath. T’Aria gritted her teeth and focused on the imitation virus and tried, to no avail, to drown out the din of her thoughts and Kastarak’s curiosity. Nevertheless, they tormented her.

“If you have been in close proximity of a Romulan, it is possible that you have received some form of antibodies, perhaps through mucus, spit or other accidental contamination of your body from Romulan cells. If it is recent, it would explain why such a small antibody had not yet been broken down, and help alleviate the symptoms of your infection. You appear to have a better hold of yourself than I have. I am quite emotional now.” Kastarak spoke quickly, and he noticed his heart beat was getting faster. He hoped he could mask his emotions somewhat still, but he was starting to give up.

It’s actually kind of cathartic to feel things vividly and express feelings, to remain within them.

She held on, but only to the composure that dangled from a thread. That composure protected her from her emotions and moulded her features into such convincing dispassion that she deceived herself, for a moment, into believing she was in control. But she was only hiding from herself, and her thread was fraying.

“No, I…” she stammared. Kastarak deserved her honesty, yet she found herself impeded by guilt. She sensed hurt-fueled rage in his voice, and she felt responsible. Was she responsible? Would the truth deepen his anguish? Was he in the headspace to endure more conflict? Was that her choice to make for him? No.

T’Aria grimaced to keep from leaving her mouth agape with reticence.

He put his head down on the pillow. He tried to calm down. He wanted to control his breathing, to make it slower, and thereby slow the heart. Then he would be able to calm his emotions down a bit.

But every time he tried to focus on his breathing, make it go slower, he activated his cough reflex, and that brought up his heart beat even more.

Why had T’Aria been with Romulans? It was not all that long ago that they had infiltrated Vulcan High Command. Surely she wasn’t Romulan herself, an infiltrator? No, there were no signs of that. Logic, Kastarak. Follow the logic. He heard his father’s voice in his head, a memory from when he was a child, and father tried to guide his emotions.

T’Aria was no longer a practising physician. As such, a Romulan could not be a patient. Her encounter with the away team was unrelated to her encounter, her touching a Romulan, so it must be some other event.

Kastarak’s mind returned to the word touched. She had touched a Romulan. Is that not very intimate, sexual even? Kastarak felt rage growing again.

No, no, follow the logic. He sought the image of his father, the sound of his voice. It was soothing. As was Mother’s.

Do they have peace now?

He missed them. He missed them terribly. They – who had brought him to life, persevered when his emotions as a child were strong, when he had his meltdowns and threw toys and plates and cutlery all around him, helped him regain logic, meditate, sooth him with tea and meditations when he was sleepless, who had taught him how to read, how to cook, how to take care of plants, who had shaped him, made him him, given him their all – were gone. Dead. Never to be found again. Never for them to know that he cared so much for them, that he wished for them to be part of his life again, that he wanted to share in their lives, and have them share in his.

Suddenly, his eyes were watery, and drops of water from his eyes travelled down his face. Was he crying? Was it a reaction from his infection?

_ Nenlohk dwon zeesh_, he whispered, as he saw the image of his father. _ Nenlohk dwon zeesh_, he whispered again, to his mother.

– Ensign Kastarak (physician)

(OOC: My heart…)

A whisper, fainter than she could discern, drew her gaze to where Kastarak lay on the floor. Then, as golden light bounced off the tears streaking his face, she understood. She would never know whether obligation or a deep, forgotten instinct led her to his side. But, she knew an easily replicated drug was not as important as him.

She sat down a meter from him but said nothing at first.

“I lost Hanesh to the Romulans,” her breath hitched, “to Nero. He was my brother and my confidante. And I often wonder where he would be today. I like to think he would have pursued metal sculpting. He was enormously talented.” She furrowed her eyebrows and focused on a spot on the floor. “He was not the vengeful type, I do not think, but I cannot help but feel I am betraying his memory.”

“I have touched a Romulan,” she lifted her head to Kastarak, “but I was, at the same time, touching another Vulcan. I wish I could say what we have and how it affects this disease, but I am no more aware than you. I am confused. I am conflicted. And I have no idea what to do because logic is not equipped for matters of the heart.”

“Kastarak, it was not my intention to cause you more distress. It is hard to think about Romulans without thinking about all we have lost,” she sighed, “and I cannot ask you to dissociate this from that. But… if you need someone, I’m here.”

— T’Aria


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