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Knock, knock, knocking on Symar's door [tag: Symar]

Posted June 23, 2022, 2:39 p.m. by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor / Counsellor) (Richard A)

Posted by Lieutenant Symar (Chief Medical Officer) in Knock, knock, knocking on Symar’s door [tag: Symar]

Posted by Ensign Kastarak (Doctor / Counsellor) in Knock, knock, knocking on Symar’s door [tag: Symar]

Posted by Lieutenant Symar (Chief Medical Officer) in Knock, knock, knocking on Symar’s door [tag: Symar]
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻
OOC: Set just after Pawl Batario’s arrival on the Chernov, so just before our shore leave on Risa

Ever since Kastarak had met Pawl Batario for a psychological and physical evaluation, he could not help but think on Pawl’s mind-meld, and what the threat of that kind of intimacy provoked in him, namely a fear of others seeing him for who he was, in his soul, his naked katra, and an embarrassment that he knew nothing of how to perform a mind-meld, and indeed, a sensation that he was out of touch with his culture and his people, a feeling of loss of cultural identity. He had not been on Vulcan since he was a child, for a 13-year old is a child, whether or not Vulcan society at that time saw him as one.

At first, Kastarak thought of going to see T’Aria. They had an emotional bond, he sensed, from their time in quarantine, and she seemed to understand him. She was also medically trained. But at the same time, that was emotion guiding him there, and he needed direction, logic, and practical current medical advice. A ssuch, he ought to speak to Symar, his chief medical officer, and bring his concerns up there. Maybe Symar would know something about mind melds, perhaps he could help teach him? Perhaps he could offer some advice?

But then, did Kastarak really want to meld with Symar? No. But he wanted to learn. Perhaps there would be a way not requiring performing the task…

He rang the chime outside Symar’s office door.

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

_Bump! Should Kieron want to continue this… :) _

“Enter,” Symar’s voice came from the other side of the door, ever calm and collected. As the doors parted, Kastarak could see that Symar had just finished a meditation session, complete with a dimly lit room and several cinnamon scented candles placed around the floor with Symar, sitting crossed legged in the centre of a patterned carpet, “Doctor Kastarak, what can I do for you?”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Kastarak obeyed the command to enter, going into the office, but staying half a metre from the door.

“Am I interrupting? There is something I should like to discuss with you. It is in the borderline of personal and professional.”

Kastarak placed his hands behind his back, awaiting the response from his CMO.

– Ensign Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)

bump

Symar almost let the mask of his true identity slip for a second, before maintaining his faux Vulcan composure, “Of course, though I am not sure I will be able to provide the emotional support you are seeking.”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Emotional? What had caused Dr Symar to assume that Kastarak needed emotional support? This was not the way Vulcans speak, surely? Why did Symar sound so… so… human? Kastarak was perplexed. That reply put him off from wanting to go too intimate in the conversation. He’d give it a chance though.

Kastarak entered Symar’s office, noticing the incense and candles. It struck Kastarak as somewhat strange that his office was so Vulcan-y in such a homely manner. Symar was rather a strange man, Kastarak thought.

“May I sit?” he asked, while moving towards a chair.

“I’d like to discuss certain aspects of Vulcan culture that I have gone amiss of. For example, mind melds. Perhaps we could start with talking about them. Do you have experience in them?”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

You don’t know the half of it kid, Symar thought to himself, surpressing a grin, “Of course,” he said aloud, “I completed a mind meld with Commander T’Aria a few days ago,” It took a moment for Symar to register what he had said, so he had to really push to not make the brief panic appear on his face.

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Kastarak was surprised by Dr Symar’s candid admission. He tried to think of the meaning of it. At the same time, Kastarak noticed emotions in himself. He tried to name them. Was one jealousy? But why would he be jealous? And of what? One emotion was definitely surprise. But was there an element of fear? But why would Kastarak be afraid, and of what? He quickly purged them, decided that he had no time to analyse them now. That would be left for meditation later on.

“I see,” Kastarak said, for lack of any better words. It was unusual for Kastarak to be gob-smacked. He finally understood humans a bit more.

“Was it your first time?” he asked. Perhaps it was T’Aria who had initiated it, and maybe that’s where the jealousy would have come from. But perhaps it was Symar who ha ddone so. “Have you been taught the technique?”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

Symar seemed to drop slightly, as if resigned to the fact that the truth to come out eventually. He rose and gestured to one of the seats in front of him, “Doctor, I need to confess something to you, you may want to sit down for this.”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Kastarak seated himself on the chair. Nothing in this conversation made any sense to him, but perhaps now was not the time to ask questions or examine it. He decided to use the principle of serenity of mind. Perhaps, with patience, answers would be forth-coming.

“Go ahead, sir”, Kastarak said quietly. “I’m listening.”

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

To make the point he was about to make rather obvious, Symar smiled broadly, “Y’see Ensign, I’m not the man you think I am.”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Medical Officer-

Kastarak had never seen Symar smile. Was he grimacing, was it pain? No, it looked more real – as if Symar genuinely expressed an emotion relaetd to smiles, like humans often do (while humans did sometimes smile out of politeness rather than happiness, this now would not be indicative of politeness…).

Was Symar one of the V’tosh ka’tur – the Vulcans without logic? Possibly, but Kastarak sensed it might be deeper than that.

“Please tell me what you want me to know of who you are”, replied Kastarak as calmly as before.

– Ensign Kastarak (doctor / counsellor)

“Easier said than done, kid,” Symar said with a chuckle, “But the basics are: I’m half Romulan, thanks to being genetically altered as a child.”

-Lieutenant Symar: Chief Science Officer-

Kastarak noticed what he interpreted as a relief in Symar. Perhaps this had been a burden on Symar for a long time. On one hand, the word ‘Romulan’ activated anger, terror, pain and grief in Kastarak, but at the same time, he had worked with Symar for a year now. Symar was his boss, and while the relationship was not always productive, it was one that Kastarak valued. Had Symar been fearful of relieving his true self?

It did make sense. Symar had appeared at times as someone pretending to be Vulcan. His ‘logic’ did at times appear strange and irrational.

“You honour me, sir, with entrusting me this knowledge. I understand it may not have been easy hiding this, knowing what we know, in this climate. May I ask what happened to you as a child, and why you tell me this now?”

– Ensign Kastarak (counsellor / doctor)


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