Posted Sept. 30, 2023, 12:55 p.m. by Lieutenant Junior Grade Pawl Batario (Chief Engineer) (David Robinson Jr)
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Kastarak (Doctor / Counsellor) in Chiming Pawl’s door
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Pawl Batario (Chief Engineer) in Chiming Pawl’s door
Posted by Lieutenant Junior Grade Kastarak (Doctor / Counsellor) in Chiming Pawl’s door
Posted by… suppressed (14) by the Post Ghost! 👻
After a double shift in Sickbay, Kastarak wanted a friend. He walked up to Pawl’s quarters, and chimed the door.
Pawl just finished changing into his off-duty uniform and got more comfortable for the evening. As he heard the door as he moved closer to the door. tapped the control to open the door “Well hello there Kastarak Please Come in.” He said softly in a calming tone. “Care for a drink?” as he moved to the sitting area. Noticing that the doctor looked tired. As he turned to focus on him almost tripped over the coffee table. Pawl was not used to this new unit because of now being a chief Engineering officer had its perks. He recovered with an interesting material artist movement almost like a dance move too.
Lt Jg Pawl Batario - Chief Engineer
“Are you injured?” Kastarak asked, almost exclaimed, as he saw Pawl’s stumble and dance away. He wished he has his medical tricorder with him, so he could scan for injuries. The potential for injury concerned Kastarak, and Pawl could probably sense that behind the deadpan expression on Kastarak’s face, there was worry, concern, and a frantic activity to assess the situation and find solutions to the potential injury and to avoid injury in the future.
“I am okay doctor. Honestly, luckily I sidestepped enough to avoid a hit to the shin. I don’t think I pulled a muscle or anything.” He said with a smile noting the concern the doctor had. “You are more than welcome to check me over to make sure I am ok. I promise I won’t disappear on you if you need to get a tricorder. I believe there is an emergency kit in the corridor.” Pawl commented softly.
Kastarak considered Pawl’s proposal. His first instinct was to do exactly what Pawl had suggested. It seemed Pawl understood Kastarak’s concern, and had wished to alleviate it. But then… it was a minor stumble. Pawl said he was fine. No reason to make bigger a minor thing.
“I trust you when you say you’re okay,” Kastarak replied. “Shall we sit down? How are you? What is new for you?”
“Thank you, Doc. Pawl agreed to the doctor’s request to a sit down. “please !” Pawl said calmly to him as he took a seat. “I am doing fine Doctor. Its been a rather busy day today in engineering. Plus a returning officer Sara Lovegood came back to engineering as an Engineering Junior Officer and not as a Chief Engineer position. Had a meeting with the Captain to discuss the situation before I committed to the Chief Engineer Position and discussed my concerns. He is a very strong and capable officer. We discussed me trying out other positions along with dealing with engineering duties.”Pawl said stopping to catch his breath. Pawl continued a moment later. “Trying my hand at the helm position and after getting that station down move to another duty station.” Pawl was getting thrust. “I need a drink of Water.”
Kastarak sensed what he interpreted as excitement over the new prospects for Pawl. Kastarak began thinking of Pawl’s identity, history, life – being away from his kin, his family, working for the Federation, unsure of his position in engineering, the relationship with Lovejoy, Kastarak’s knowledge of Lovejoy’s infatuation with Pawl. Kastarak needed to probe that last thing. Everything could depend on that…
“Thank you for sharing this with me, Pawl. How are things between you and Ms Lovejoy?”
“Well, its strange for me to be in charge when she was my superior officer. But I am doing ok I believe. I have a lot to do to help train her up to get back into the chief engineer position someday.” Pawl said calmly to him. Our friendship seems to be stable.”
“But she is in love with you,” Kastarak replied with concern in his voice. He was genuinely concerned, and he could not keep his emotions fully under control now.
“What?? She is??” Pawl squeaked out. Feeling the concern from the doctor. “I am not interested in Sara I am gay I am more interested in men?” Pawl said quickly. I looked at the doctor for a minute. “There is no need to be concerned or worried>” As Pawl tried to reassure the man of his intentions. His interest was with him not her. Pawl was not sure what to do at this moment he had never seen a Vulcan lose control like that before. He wanted to comfort him but He did not want to get too close just in case he fully lost control and he did not want him or the doctor to get hurt.
Had Pawl not known? Was this really news to him? Two Betazoids, oblivious of one another? Could that really be so? Perhaps Kastarak had misinterpreted everything.
Then Kastarak began processing the second thing Pawl said, There is no need to be concerned or worried. Pawl’s voice was calming, soothing – like a cool balm on an itchy wound. Did Kastarak feel wounded by Lovejoy’s declaration of love to Pawl? Jealousy? Fear of being left alone, abandoned…? Perhaps now was not the time to psychoanalyse himself.
He sensed the soothing, calming presence of Pawl. All was well.
“I am relieved,” Kastarak said flatly, returning to his regulated serene self. “Thank you.”
“How are you feeling, Pawl? Will you tell me your feelings, your thoughts at this moment?”
PAwl listened to the doctor’s focused and calming tone. “Well, I am a bit confused by the statement you had mentioned about me and Miss Lovejoy?” Pawl said casually.
“I don’t recall any interaction with Miss Lovejoy that she mentioned her love for me or felt her intentions that she wanted to be with me.” Pawl commented trying to analyze their past interactions. “Are you ok Doctor?”Pawl asked sincerely to him. “I know this type of outburst or shock is not an easy thing for you?” Pawl said with a straight face.
“I understand…” Kastarak spoke quieter this time.
He went back to memory to the med eval he was about to have with Lovejoy, but which he left abruptly after hearing her confession of love to Pawl. It had hurt Kastarak deeply, and he doubted himself even more then. Having thus violated the confidentiality he had with Lovejoy as his patient, by disclosing his knowledge of this fact put Kastarak in a difficult problem.
Not disclosing any more would not mean lying. But this seemed all very strange. He was sure of having heard rumours of an interaction between the two of Lovejoy and Batario some time ago, when she had invited him for dinner and she had confessed to him her love for him back then too. Perhaps rumours were wrong, perhaps Pawl indeed had been oblivious all the time. Sweet Pawl, he thought, may his innocence remain.
Thus Kastarak struggled with what to do. He listened to his feelings, felt a deep wrench of guilt in his gut.
“When I heard of her love for you, I doubted myself and the possibility of my being with you. It was difficult. I am not used to this.”
Pawl felt his appreciation about the situation and the conflict he put himself into not on purpose. “I promise I won’t say anything about the breach of protocol. It was an error anyone could have had even I.” PAwl said with a small smile. Pawl also felt a hint of jealousy and confusion along with a bit of guilt. Pawl moved closer to the doctor Pawl grabbed his hand in his. “You are ok I know all of this is new and strange and maybe a bit scary. But I am here. you are good.” Pawl said sincerely to him. “I don’t want to rush you into anything you are not ready for. I will be here and I am not planning on leaving anytime soon.” PAwl finished his little speech. He hoped he helped in some way with the issues he was having.
While for others, it might feel eerie that someone you’re so close to will be able to detect your thoughts and emotions so well as Pawl did, but for Kastarak, it gave him feelings of safety and comfort. Pawl was like a sun uncovering clouds after a stormy day, stilling the wind…
“I don’t know what I’d need to have, or feel, or think, be ready. What if I already am?” he asked.
Pawl listened carefully “Ok?” you are ready I won’t scare me off easily.” Pawl said calmly. “I am ready too.” Pawl said as he moved close enough so he could see his hand ready for him to touch him and interact. Pawl opened his mind completely. As he waited for the man to decide what he wanted to do.
Pawl coming closer gave Kastarak a tingling feeling in his gut. It made him feel younger, almost childish, light and worried and happy and concerned and safe at the same time.
He sensed that Pawl was open, but Kastarak couldn’t bring himself to read him just yet. He wanted to ride the wave of emotions while he felt safe and protected.
But this was all new to him. He wasn’t sure what he wanted, he could not define it. He just wanted to be close to Pawl, merge with Pawl, be part of him, and have Pawl be part of him.
He placed his left hand on Pawl’s chest, and his right hand on Pawl’s shoulder. “I feel your heartbeat. It is the rhythm of you. I will learn this rhythm.”
“Do you wish me to refrain from touching you?”
“You are fine Kasarak.” Pawl said softly to him as he felt the man’s hand on him. And he let him take his time to decide what he wished. “There is nothing to fear from me I won’t harm you.” Pawl spoke again softly. “This interaction is going to help you with the new emotions and feelings and clarity of thought. and my openness will show my heart and soul to you as well.” PAwl added.
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