Posted by Captain Sidney Parker (Commanding Officer) in Main sim - Xandra in Medical per CAG

Posted by Lieutenant Trevor Michaels (Counselor) in Main sim - Xandra in Medical per CAG

Posted by Captain Sidney Parker (Commanding Officer) in Main sim - Xandra in Medical per CAG
Posted by… suppressed (11) by the Post Ghost! 👻

SNIP

“You are free to feel anyway you want. That’s the point isn’t it. There is no wrong way to feel. It’s ok to be upset and even confused. Recognizing that and admitting that is the best way to get past this.” He answered calmly in his even English tone.

Doolittle

Xandra laughed and shook her head. “Of course… feel any way I want. But you DO know there is a wrong way to feel. I think I will simply remain unsure about what truly happened. And I will retrain myself on the ships and shuttles. Whatever may have temporarily addled my mind in the last few cycles, I can clear and move beyond. And soon, when Ric is satisfied I am well, I will return to my duties as Squad Leader.”

She sighed and leaned back in her chair. “Ric will never trust me again....” she half murmured. “I couldn’t remember, for a single away mission, what ship I was one. How can he have faith in me doing what I need when I’m alone?”

Xandra
Pilot

“The question is not if Ric or anyone else trust you. Do you trust yourself?” Doolittle asked.

Doolittle

She shook her head and looked back out the window. “I don’t think I trust my answer, even if I could come up with one. I thought I trusted myself just a few hours ago. And I was wrong. So if I have to answer now… I would say ‘No’.”

Xandra

The Counselor had mad his way down to Sickbay to visit Stephanie, but found a nurse had taken her to the lounge for lunch. Overhearing the exchange between Xandra and Doolittle, Trevor approached the pair.

“Everything okay?” The Counselor asked, focusing his attention on the pilot.

CNS

Xandra nodded and was about to speak when Doolittle asked his question.

Doolittle, being very egocentric, did not like his commanding officer interrupting him but knew he had nothing to say about it. So he ignored him.

“What do you think is necessary for you to trust yourself?” He asked as if the CNS had not walked up.

Doolittle (slightly arrogant and self assured English snob)

Trevor smiled to himself and let out an internal chuckle. Doolittle’s reputation certainly preceded him. The Counselor turned to the Pilot but remained silent, only raising a brow to see her response.

CNS

Xandra had sat up and taken notice of the CNS when he arrived. The blatent disregard of him by Doolittle was a bit off putting. Had he been ‘her’ subordinate, she would have pulled him aside and had a word right then and there. The fact eh CNS let him continue made her curious about their dynamic.

But it was Doolittle’s question which kept her from wondering for too long. “To have me say I trust myself? How about NOT mistaking the spacecraft I am on. Not asking permission to do things the ship obviously isn’t capable of doing. I would say Ric clearing me to fly, and me managing ‘not’ to screw up would probably go a long way to trusting myself again.” She tried to laugh and make light of it, but it came out a half choked gasp and she bit her lip a moment when she heard how it sounded.

Xandra
Pilot (grounded)

Give him time and Doolittle could really make progress with her. He needed to consult with the CNS. However it was clear to him that Xandra lacked her own independent personality. Who she was, even down to her psychiatric make up, was dependent on her view of her job. Many people did this but so far he was detecting a very distinct difference at the level she associated herself to her pilot persona.

“We can’t work through it all in one session. Would you be willing to meet with me again?” He asked.

Doolittle

Xandra shrugged with a half sincere sound that tried to be a laugh. “I can’t leave here till Ric arrived. And I can’t fly till you approve. So saying ‘no’ would be problematic answer. Just tell me when. It’s so much easier than take pleasantries,” she rolled her head slightly. “Don’t you think?”

She then looked up at the CNS. “Forgive me, Sir. I’m fine physically, if that’s your query. Mentally, apparently I not only forgot which transport I was on with the CAG, but also can’t seem to believe I was so reckless. Ric has ordered me to remain here in sickbay till his return. I think he’s unhappy that medical cleared me when apparently I’m ‘not’ fine… Sir.” There was no malice or contempt in her voice. She merely gave up the facts that led her to this moment.

Xandra
Pilot (grounded)

It did appear that Doolittle had the situation under control and since the Xandra wasn’t a Department Head, Lieutenant Michaels didn’t feel it was necessary to pile on his case load. Trevor, however, was a bit concerned with why medical was able to clear her for duty under her current mental state.

“Who was it that cleared you for duty?” The Counselor asked, looking between the pair standing before him.

CNS

Xandra shook her head. “It doesn’t matter, with all due respect, Sir. When I was cleared, I was fine. Mentally, physically, psychologically. I’m not sure what happened that changed that. The only explanation I can figure is that in going back to the planet, the… trouble… was restarted. If the surface has been using those microwaves for a long time, their atmosphere could be saturated. I had no trouble with preflight here before descending or any issues in flight. It wasn’t till we’d been on the surface a little while that it locked in.”

She obviously didn’t want to get anyone in trouble for something they couldn’t have known. “I suggest that anyone on the surface for a prolonged period be scanned for…” she wasn’t a doctor or scientist, so the vocabulary wasn’t there when the pilot needed it. “Well for whatever process needs to be done to prove they’ve been overly exposed to whatever the residue is from those weapons. I’ve been clear as a bell since coming back to the ship. But my guess is, if I were to return to the surface, it might get bad again.”

Suddenly she realized she was lecturing the councilors as if she actually knew what was wrong and what to do. But unless she could convince someone to return her to the surface, she never prove anything. “That’s it!” Xandra said and stood up. “I need to go back to the surface. If I’m fine in the shuttle up here, but cuckoo on surface, we’ll know what’s wrong.” Her enthusiasm at possibly finding out that this was an isolated incident was because then she could convince Ric she was fine as long as she didn’t come back to THIS particular planet again.

Xandra
Pilot

By this time Doolittle had stood up and was facing the CNS but not Xandra. He shook his head only very slightly to let the CNS know he was not in favor of that remedy. He also knew the CNS had a reputation, well earned, as a combat psychologist who was as deep in the action as the people who was supposed to help. He had a fear the man was in favor of the method of direct confrontation.

Doolittle

The Counselor glanced at Doolittle’s gesture then focused his attention back to the Pilot. “Lieutenant, as far as I’m aware you’re confined to Sickbay.” Trevor stated. He was not about to let an officer with a possible mental setback back down on the planet.

“Even if Commander O’Shea allowed you to leave, the Captain would never let you leave the ship until you’ve been cleared for duty.” Lieutenant Michaels would have to go over the Pilot’s file when this was all over but if she thought the planet was making her crazy, he’d have to at least mention it to the Captain even if the claim was untrue. Part of him was hoping it was true, he’d hate to see a Pilot’s career destroyed due to a mental instability.

CNS

“So I have to stay here till I prove I’m fine… Again. But if I’m cleared and go to the surface and am affected by the residual radiation again… Then what? Who’s willing to step up and take the hit for having cleared me?”

Surprisingly, even to Xandra, her voice was calm. “I’m not delusional, nor suicidal. And I’m certainly NOT asking you to clear me for the away team. I’m merely asking for someone to be willing to accompany me to a place of solitude within the area of the machines we destroyed to see if my symptoms flair.” If the gentlemen before her thought she was waiting or trying for bravado, the lilt in her voice was a dead give away that she certainly didn’t like the idea any better than her.

“If something on the planet is dangerous to those on the surface, we’ll need to know that to treat the rescued crew from the derelict ship. Right? I don’t know about you but I don’t feel right using one of ‘them’ as a guinea pig. Do you? Bring whatever medical personnel you want. But honestly, Sirs,” she stood up and looked at them both, “we need to know. Don’t we?”

Once more it was clear that she wasn’t happy about being the sacrificed lamb. But she knew, as they did, that it made a crazy kind of sense. If she was fine here and lost it the surface, those they rescued would need more attention than they knew. If she was fine…

Well she didn’t want to think of other possibilities.

Xandra
Crazy lady

Being a psychiatrist he new the stage of bargaining when he heard it. He was sure that she believed every word she was saying but he wondered about her reasoning. He was letting the CNS be the final say but he was reasonably sure he knew where he stood on the subject.

Doolittle being a head shrink. The more you protest the more it must be true. Clockwork Orange time.

Doolittle

The Counselor thought Xandra was being really persistent with her efforts to return back on planet. There has to be more to explain why the Pilot felt the way she did, but it did seem she had a great relationship with Doolittle.

“I feel that we’ll start talking in circles.” Trevor stated. “I don’t see why you can’t address the Captain with this.” The CNS knew the Captain would most likely deny the Pilot’s request to return to the planet. On the slim chance he doesn’t, then maybe it would give Xandra some ease once she finds that the planet didn’t have any affect on her.

CNS

Doolittle did not like the door open for her to return. He had a real patient with a real issue and he wanted to work with her and actually practice psychology and not baby sitting other crew who had a bad day or didn´t like their superior officer. However he knew the Captain would do what he wanted and had a reputation as get back in there and fight mentality.

Doolittle

“Thank you. That’s an honest and fair option. And I’ll abide by the Captain’s decision, of course.” She glanced at Doolittle’s disapproving face. “And no worries, sir. I’m not one to sneak off on my own just cause I don’t like the answer. And, I admit, I’m also open to suggestions.”

Glancing from one to the other she nodded, “I was affected originally by the microwave transmitters on the surface. We know that for a fact. Too many witnesses to think otherwise.” She bit her as she tried to phrase the rest. “I came back to the ship, was checked out and cleared back to flying, but not solo. Everything was going fine till I was back on the surface again.”

Her heart beat picked up a bit of its pace as she remembered. “So if either of you know how to simulate the EXACT conditions of the planet, then I’m willing to stay on the ship. But in all honesty, I have no idea.” Part of her to be terribly wrong. Because if she was right, then the other ship’s occupants might have similar issues from prolonged exposure on the planet. The other question in her mind was whether she’d be just fine if she never went back to the surface. Or would Ric and the others always have to look out for her? Or worse, would she be relieved of all piloting duties?

Xandra
Pilot