Posted by Lieutenant Sheleah Ruby (Diplomatic Officer / CNS) in Side Sim: Memories One - Lieutenant Ruby’s Office (ATTN Sheleah)

Posted by 2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea (Security Officer) in Side Sim: Memories One - Lieutenant Ruby’s Office (ATTN Sheleah)
Memories 1

“It was after our annual track meet,” Eghimea explained in her same monotone voice. She was sitting in her favorite chair within Lieutenant Ruby’s office.

There wasn’t anything special about this chair over the other. But for Eghimea, it had just become second nature for her. Each time they would meet, she would walk into the office. Take a moment to allow her eyes to take in her surroundings before taking her seat in the right-side chair. Once settled into her chair, her posture would start off rigid then slowly slip as the conversations would continue. There were times when that military rigidness would snap back, and times when Eghimea simply couldn’t hold it up any longer.

“I remember seeing the families walking with their kids away from the field. The mood was pretty joyous, because there were so many records broken that day. So many promising new cadets. So many people were happy, so many but not my father….” Eghimea continued as she described the events that unfolded over a decade ago.

The blow rang out, leaving a thunderous ringing in Eghimea’s ear and a sharp stinging on the side of her head. The blow knocked her off balance as she toppled to the ground. “Did you think I wouldn’t be able to tell,” her father, Commander Laju Buln, barked.

“He was so angry with me,” she said trying to hold back the frown. “He was accusing me of intentionally allowing someone to beat me in one of the races….” Her frown slipped through as she looked down slightly, “it wasn’t just any race. It was one I was highly favored to excel at….”

Stepping forward as he drove his foot into her side. The blow sent the air in her lungs exploding out of her mouth. “Is that what the Prophets want for us. To be less than what they have in store for us,” he continued to bark at her while kicking her again. “Is that what the Emissary has taught us!

She shifted slightly in her chair, “I know why he was mad at me. Being a Laju was completely different than any other family in Kendra. We all lived under those expectations that were formed during the war….”

As she struggled back to her hands and knees, he kicked her in the side again. “Damnit Eghimea! How many times have I told you. Bajor stands on her own, this was the words of the Emissary himself! The very wishes of the Prophets. She can’t stand if we are too weak to support her. That means pushing ourselves further than our limits! Never giving up!” Driving his foot in to her side again as the anger filled his voice, “and that means never allowing someone to beat us!”

Her left leg started to bounce rapidly as she leaned forward in her chair, “I am not sure what made him angrier, that I lost, or…”

Buln turned to Breeje, “were you aware that she was going to allow that human boy to beat her?”

Eghimea fell silent for a moment, as if unwilling or unable to put her own words to what her narrative story was showing Sheleah. After a moment, her story continued….

Shaking his head, Breeje answered plainly, “no father.” Looking in to her eyes, she could see the disappointment he had for her as he continued, “this was all her own doing.”

There was a slight sad smile that crossed her lips as she looked at Sheleah. There was a sense of darkness in her eyes as she spoke, “never again did I allow anyone to beat me.” From that darkness rose a look of absolute devotion as she continued, “not in races or any other contest. Regardless of the personal cost to myself, I would never disappoint my family or the Prophets again. It was a promise I made to myself that day.”

• 2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea

By now Sheleah wished she could say that the manner in which people presented themselves, broken by their upbringing, had ceased to surprise her but, she couldn’t. Who had ever heard of a father doing something like that.

‘Well, there was the klingon culture.’ she thought as she listened and watched Eghimea.

“Disappointment and being disappointed is a part of life though and it’s something you’re going to have to learn to cope with to become a well rounded person. This is an extreme example I’m guessing.”

• Sheleah, CNS/DO

Eghimea listened carefully as Sheleah spoke. She tried to take in every expression and the slightest of movements as she continued to learn Sheleah’s mannerisms. It had been a few months now, and Eghimea finally felt comfortable speaking to the alien; ‘person’ she corrected herself. Sheleah wasn’t like the other aliens aboard this ship. There was a sense of understanding or maybe that was just her job.

‘What am I to her,’ she wondered of Sheleah’s inner thoughts. ‘What does she see in me,’ Eghimea questioned as she set there for a moment in silence allowing Sheleah’s words to grow.

‘I feel normal,’ Eghimea thought holding herself to the fictitious scale that she assumed Sheleah was using. ‘I am a well-rounded officer,’ her mind continued to work over the statement. A few months ago, Eghimea would have allowed the statement to wash off her back, considering the source of some uninformed alien. But Sheleah was more than just some alien, Sheleah listened to her. ‘Still,’ she continued to wonder, ‘what does she see when she looks at me?’

Speaking in a sincere tone, “I understand how that might seem extreme to you.” She paused unexpectedly, still unsure what to do with Sheleah’s statement. ‘Was this intentional,’ she wondered. Taking in a deep breath, ‘what does she want from me.’ Letting her breath out in defeat, “it’s hard sometimes,” she finally admitted.

She shifted nervously in her chair, “I want to show you that I am a well-rounded person, that I am as normal as you or anyone else is. Often, I find myself confused as to what you want to hear or see from me. Despite my father’s faults, in his eyes, one never had to guess what was expected of them.”

She planted both hands on the arm rests of the chair and pushed herself up and pivoted on her heels. “You said, ‘This is an extreme example I’m guessing’, She said effortlessly perfectly matching the pitch and tone of Sheleah’s statement.

She started to pace between the chairs and where Sheleah was sitting, “am I supposed to defend my father’s actions and explain how this was not extreme. That this was normal for my brother and I,” she pondered. Her perfect monotone voice started to slip as she continued, “but that wouldn’t be the entire truth, nor would it be an excuse by some battered child in defense of their abuser,” she protested shaking her head.

“It wasn’t extreme for us OR the other families where I grew up,” she said almost in a whisper. The sense of sadness in her voice not quite hidden as she continued. “While children in the capital were playing on Federation built playgrounds, we were learning how to use camouflage and maintain phasers that were stolen or bought on the black-market. But we were just as normal as the kids who grew up in the capital.”

She turned to Sheleah bearing not only the wetness in her eyes but the pain on her normally concealed face, “I know it wasn’t right,” she said. Her mind unwilling to pose the question which lingered in her thoughts, ‘Does that also make me not right?’ Her words failed her as she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. The obvious question slipped across her face like some scarlet letter for all to see, and to judge her.

Frustrated, Eghimea flopped back into her favorite chair. Bringing her hands up, her face slipped into their concealing embrace as she whimpered, “I don’t know what you want to hear.”

• 2nd Lieutenant Laju Eghimea