Posted Jan. 27, 2022, 11:34 a.m. by Ensign Rand Farquharson (Yeoman First Class) (Jennifer Ward)
Posted by Commander Roman Alden (First Officer & Chief Science Officer) in side-sim: The Reckoning
(snip)
Roman felt her breathing slowing down, and he kept the rate of his own breaths steady. Finally she was breathing with him and he stayed quiet and breathed with her for several minutes. Then he said, “Feel a little better now, Miranda?” His voice was quiet and soothing, still sounding concerned for her.
~ Roman
Held tight against him, she could feel his chest rise and fall as he breathed. Rand breathed with him. For a few minutes that’s all the existed for her, breathing in and out. She hated this, she wished there was some miracle cure to get rid of it. That wasn’t going to happen. Mostly she hated Roman seeing her like this. Once was bad enough, but again…she didn’t want him to see her panic attacks, but she really didn’t want him to leave either.
Roman wouldn’t know, but it was a little like his nightmares. He didn’t like anyone seeing them, knowing about them. He hadn’t wanted Rand to know at first, either. But she’d been so helpful when he finally accepted her help he’d really gotten over that with her. That was why when he’d woken up in Sickbay stuck in one of his memories and scared he’d been able to call for her.
Then he spoke, she still liked the way he said her name, and she nodded her head where it was against his shoulder. Oh, but that wasn’t right. He asked a question and that meant she needed to answer. And he was concerned for her and had sat with her. She should express gratitude. “Yes…thank you.” Her voice was quiet and strained from the after affects.
Rand
Roman kept hugging her. She said she felt better, but her voice still sounded strained. “Next time you should tell me, so I can help.” Like she always did for him, going to Sickbay with him or staying up late when he couldn’t sleep. He didn’t mind her anxiety attacks, or helping her deal with them. But he couldn’t help if she wouldn’t tell him about it.
~ Roman
How many times had she told Roman that? Too many, and she knew he was right, but how was she supposed to tell him when she’d made him mad? Or she thought she’d made him map. Now she was pretty sure she hadn’t. And he was working, she couldn’t just walk into the labs and go I’m freaking out you have to leave and come make me feel better. And she had convinced herself that she’d just make things worse, do something else wrong, if she went to talk to him, so she hadn’t. She’d come to her room to hide from it all until she had to go back to work. She shook her head no, “You…you were working.” It was the only thing she could say, she couldn’t tell him the other reasons, they were so stupid, but they seemed large and implacable to her.
Rand
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